Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for July, 2007

The Was To Funny Not to Share

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 31, 2007

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Here’s to you Crazy as Bat Shit Coach O

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 31, 2007

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You Tube Sports God Kige Ramsey has something to say…

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 31, 2007

about the Old Ball Sack Coach Steve Spurrier. You tell him Kige…folks Kige is so tough that his tears could cure cancer…but Kige doesn’t cry…

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The PAC 10 Commissioner proves men can get PMS.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 30, 2007

The commissioner of the PAC 10, Tom Hansen (No relation to NBC’s Chris Hanson), has stated that if the plus-one model becomes reality, I’ll take my conference and quit the BCS. Obviously he was suffering from bloating for him to make such an asinine statement as that. I mean where will his conference go? They’ll be missing out on a lot of BCS money.

His statements here suggest he was suffering from extreme cramping. Notice he’s sounds feisty.
“Our presidents have no interest whatsoever in a plus-one model — none,” Hansen says. “It’s a little annoying that my colleagues continue to float this idea as though it has merit. If they continue to push it, and try to push us into a corner … “

And here is where the whining and emotional side of him prevails.

What’s the difference between what we use now and the plus-one? Nothing,” Hansen says. “You’re still relying on (the BCS points system) to determine who plays in the game after all the other bowls. What if three teams are close to each other after all the bowl games? Which two play in the (plus-one) game?”

OK, to break it down. He seems to believe his conference is so good that everyone in college football must bow down to it, or he’ll take his toys and go home. Maybe someone should call him and remind him that outside of Southern Cal, the PAC 10 is meaningless in football. Surely he must realize that Southern Cal would go independent leaving the PAC 10 to become the WAC Deuce. I mean I don’t know about you but I believe Fresno State could beat most of the PAC 10, hell me and some midgets who might be in between shooting some porn movies, could beat most of the PAC 10 teams. In other words, it’s possible that a Southern Cal’less PAC 10 might suck worse than the Big Least. So commissioner do yourself and us a favor, take some Pamprin, eat some ice cream, take a nice long hot bath using some aromatherapy and please shut your cock-holster and quit acting like a bitch.

Posted in BCS, NCAA, Pac 10, Sports, Tom Hansen | Leave a Comment »

The Big 10 says it’s tired of being considered as “That Deformed Kid”

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 30, 2007

As many probably already know, the Big 10 is considering adding another team, making the conference a 12 team conference. Right now it’s an eleven team conference even though they’re to stupid to change the name from the “The Big 10″ to “The Big 11″, causing other bigger and badder conferences such as the SEC to call them “That Deformed Kid” of college football.

Here’s a listing of possible teams they are looking at:

  1. Notre Dame. It ain’t going to happen. The Irish actually plays a softer schedule than teams in the Big Least and that’s fine baby hair soft, and yet the BCS still sucks their balls loves them.
  2. Syracuse. Might happen. Granted teams like Ohio State and Michigan might oppose the fact they wear orange. OSU has been embarrassed twice by Florida and Big Blue was a Big Bust when it played Tennessee in the Citrus bowl.
  3. West Virginia. Won’t happen. If the hillbilly factor won’t be to much to handle then the fact that coach Rodriguez maybe not “legal” will be.
  4. Michigan State’s Power Puff Girls team. Possible. They can’t suck as bad as the mens’ football program. No pun intended.
  5. Rutgers. Possible. They were the darlings of college football last year, even though they play in a pussy conference, with being embarrassed that their bowl game wasn’t nationally televised, could be a reason to abandon the Big Least.
  6. Iowa State. Maybe. They aren’t good enough to be in the their current conference. They aren’t pussies like Big Least teams, but they are in between, so they’ll be a good match.

Now what will this conference be called. There’s already a Big 12, maybe this one can called The Big 12 Deuce, Big 12 Jr or The Heartland Conference. My choice judging by most of the teams they have and the embarrassment they sometimes suffer, would be The Not As Bad As The Big Least Conference Conference.

Posted in NCAA, Notre Dame, Sports, Syacuse, The Big East, WVU, West Virginia, big 10, big ten | Leave a Comment »

USC’s pre-season schedule

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 29, 2007

Arthur’s note: yes I know it looks like I’m picking on USC but I’m not I wrote this earlier in the week, hoping another site would use it. But they didn’t so I’m using it…bitches =)

USC’s pre-season schedule is out, and just like last year, fans won’t be able to see the practices.

Head Coach Steve Spurrier announced the schedule Wednesday during SEC Media Day.

Please note that all dates and times are subject to change.

Friday, August 3: Players Report; Team Meeting at 6:30 p.m. University issued AK47s and ammo will handed out. With a mission statement “Be More Like Florida!”

Saturday, August 4: Presentation of “Why the Big Least Sucks” with special guest speaker Pac Man Jones.

Sunday, August 5: Media Day 3- 5 p.m.; Target practice on the liberal icon WLTX

Monday, August 6: Practice 7:30 p.m. Presentation of “Moral victories & Stabbings Scar the Soul” by Quintin Richardson

Tuesday, August 7: Practice 7:30 p.m. watching the movie “This Conference is Full of Pussies! the Miami Hurricanes Story of the Big Least Days” starring The Rock, Ray Lewis & Warren Sapp as the Beaver.

Wednesday, August 8: Practice 7:30 p.m. Presentation on “Eight is a Wonderful Number and I love carrying a clipboard for Calgary in Canada” guest speaker Chris Leak

Thursday, August 9: Practice 7:30 p.m. Pet Appreciation Day with Michael Vick.

Friday, August 10: Practice 9:30 a.m. Presentation on to steal car boots without getting caught.

Saturday, August 11: Practice 4:15 p.m. Presentation GBH: Friend or Foe? with Guest speaker Barry Bonds

Sunday, August 12: Fan Appreciation Day 1-2:30 p.m. Colonial Center; only Boosters and Law Enforcement Officials are allowed to attend

Monday, August 13: Practice 7:30 p.m. presentation on “What to Buy if the Police is Selling Hint NOT DRUGS!”

Tuesday, August 14: Practice 9:30 a.m. presentation “Morning Wood & You” guest speaker Jerri Spurrier.

Wednesday, August 15: Practice 7:30 p.m. (Full pads) Ping Pong Bitches

Thursday, August 16: Practice 3 p.m. (Full pads) Watching past Florida game tapes while coach sobs uncontrollably while saying “Why did I ever leave?”

Friday, August 17: Practice 9:30 a.m. Circle jerking to West Virginia’s schedule.

Saturday, August 18: Practice 4:15 p.m. (All Nude Scrimmage)

Sunday, August 19: Practice 7:30 p.m. movie night! “Big Hat Little Penis the Les Miles Story”

Monday: August 20: Practice 7:30 p.m. (Full pads) Shoplifting from the university book store.

Tuesday, August 21: Practice 9:30 a.m. (Helmets/Shoulder pads) Kissing Lou Holtz’s ass in person.

Wednesday, August 22: 9 a.m. Get up and run bitches!

Thursday, August 23: Fall Semester Begins football players are excused from all classes going forward.

Friday, August 24: presentation on “How Not to Appear on To Catch A Predator” guest speaker Chris Hanson

Sunday, August 26: Day Off go visit your relatives that in the jail.

Monday, August 27: Practice 4 p.m. Rolling the perfect joint video presentation with Herban Meyer.

Tuesday, August 28: Practice 4 p.m. Presentation on choosing clean urine to purchase for those pesky drug tests.

Wednesday, August 29: Practice 4 p.m. Presentation on where to hit the bitch without leaving marks or bruises.

Thursday, August 30: Practice 4 p.m. Presentation on tolerance and how to recognize Joakim Noah as the “People’s Princess”.

Friday, August 31: Walk-Thru the detention center to get and give shout outs!

Saturday, September 1: Game vs. Louisiana-Lafayette (wishing they were a pussy Big Least team)

Posted in Gamecocks, NCAA, SEC, SEC Coaches, South Carolina, Sports, football | Leave a Comment »

The Pre-Season SEC Media Votes are in.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 29, 2007

Here’s a list of of who got votes in the divisions.

EASTERN DIVISION:

1. Florida (41), 131
2. Tennessee (16), 201
3. Georgia (12), 225
4. South Carolina (11), 272
5. Kentucky, 389
6. Vanderbilt, 462

WESTERN DIVISION:

1. LSU (63), 110
2. Auburn (5), 205
3. Arkansas (5), 237
4. Alabama (7), 256
5. Mississippi, 430
6. Mississippi St., 442

Notice how even though USC has new hype, they’re picked to finish in the same place…4th.

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Crazy Ed “Batshit” Orgeron slaps himself and says “I could have had a QB! Damnit!”

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 29, 2007

Well, it seems that the “Hellboy” of the SEC bottom feeders coaches club, is actually getting a clue, even though it’s to late, but a clue nonetheless. In an article with Mike “I’m somewhat anti-volunteer so therefore I’m a communist” Strange of Knox News, Batty admits to fucking up when it came to Brent Schaeffer.

“Orgeron immediately named Schaeffer as the starter, even though academic issues kept him from getting to campus until the opening of practice in August.

“I wish I wouldn’t have done it,’’ said Orgeron. “I did it for recruiting purposes. It was a ploy, but I probably made a mistake in doing that.’’

Really…no shit…Schaeffer wasn’t that impressive at Tennessee before Fulmer bitch slapped him off the team for fighting with a BASEBALL BAT!

Batshit further states “But he’s very inconsistent. He has an inconsistent lifestyle that leads to that.’’

“It’s nothing that is any law-breaking activity,’’ Orgeron said. “He’s been on his best behavior.”

I think Batty is saying that he is bisexual, who knows. But I wouldn’t be to sure he him not doing anything illegal… One thing is for sure if Ole Miss doesn’t win this year…Eddie “Coonass” O will be looking for employment but I doubt in the SEC.

Posted in Ed Orgeron, NCAA, Ole Miss, SEC, SEC Coaches, Sports, Tennessee Volunteers, UT vols, football | Leave a Comment »

Control & Illusion

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 28, 2007

A little over a year ago, I had a major change in my life and made the resolution to take control of my life. Now I laugh at that concept, because there’s so much out of my control. Some people seem to have it, seem to make that decision and make things happen. But I think it’s an illusion. Somehow, somewhere somethings out of their control, no matter what they do. Not that it matters in the end, because it’s the same for all of us. The only thing that matters is maintaining the illusion when it counts, when the shit hits the fan, when you’re at work, when the walls are falling all around you, or when you’re hurt. But inside it’s still a mess. And the most important thing is how you deal with it, how you react on the outside, because I’m not sure you can control the inside. It’s still an illusion however, but who’s going to see through it, besides your inner soul?

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And here we go….

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 27, 2007

First off welcome yada…yada…yada. For those that have been reading Broken Thoughts That I Can Not Fix, then you know what expect. For those of you that haven’t been reading…then check back often. Also try clicking the “About” tab as well.

Posted in Sports | 2 Comments »