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Archive for August 16th, 2007

Nick Saban Will Take the Liberal Media’s Bullet for His Players!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 16, 2007

That’s right…Nick Saban while donning an official SEC Florida Gators kevlar vest, vows to protect his players, prizes won in several Don Johnson lookalike contests & family, in that very order, from the bullets being fired by Alabama’s liberal God hating media. Everyone knows Nick Saban is tough…he CAN eat just one Lay’s potato chip, he CAN believe it’s not butter. Coach Saban doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. He’s just toying with them, everyone knows Nick Saban does not dodge bullets. Bullets dodge Nick Saban.

“THERE IS NO DEPTH CHART: Once again, Saban made it clear Tuesday afternoon that he’s upset at media members who have written about the Crimson Tide’s depth chart or the lack of one.

During interviews Monday, wide receiver DJ Hall and quarterback John Parker Wilson volunteered — without being prompted or questioned about the depth chart — that sophomore wide receiver Mike McCoy worked with the No. 1 offense in Saturday’s scrimmage. Wilson also informed media members that Mike Johnson was working with the starting offense at right tackle. Backup quarterback Greg McElroy told media members that he worked exclusively with the No. 2 offense.

“If they make a comment about the depth chart, you’re just putting them in harm’s way,” Saban said. “We don’t have a depth chart and our players are not supposed to evaluate other players. You guys are going around the back door and you’re putting them on the spot and I don’t think that’s fair to them.”

Let’s see here…no depth chart…unless Coach Nick Saban can divide by zero, that’s not a good thing. But let’s spin it Nick Saban style. There is no depth chart, only a list of players Coach Nick Saban allows to be on the team. What I don’t understand is how those atheistic bastards are harming the players. After all they gave this information without being questioned about it. Maybe the players are scared senseless and this is their way of crying out for help. After all when Nick Saban talks everyone in the world listens. Including people who are deaf.

“We don’t have a depth chart now. You guys are so result-oriented. You have to know what it is right now and the final results. We’re still training for the race and trying to get everybody to improve.

“It’s not trying to keep a secret or not wanting anybody to know. From a competitive standpoint, I want all the players to feel like they have an opportunity and a chance.”

This is the SEC without depth you have no chance. Duh. And judging by that last sentence, it almost sounds like you’re the one giving up. I mean it only took you 2 years in Miami to give up.

Oh and I love this one. My comments aren’t in italics.

“NICK KNACKS: Sporting News college football insider Tom Dienhart recently sat down with Saban and came away with five factoids about the first-year Tide coach:

1. He acknowledges that people are afraid of him, but he doesn’t know why.

People don’t fear him, just his players fear the fact he has no loyalty to teams however Bama has no loyalty to coaches. So this is a match made in hell.

2. He knows he has an image problem and takes responsibility for it. And he does want to change.

He can’t have a mulligan look how he started his career at Alabama. It all began to go so wrong with a clandestine courtship with the Bama brass while he was coaching the Miami Dolphins.

3. He doesn’t use e-mail because he doesn’t have a computer.

That’s common in Alabama.

4. He eats two oatmeal cookies every morning and has for years.

Hitler was a cookie fan as well.

5. He almost quit coaching after not getting the Kent State head coaching job in the 1980s.”

Sounds like giving up has plagued him in the past. He would have given but Don Johnson scored the starring role on “Miami Vice”.





Is this Nick or Don?

Posted in Alabama, Bammers, Crimson Tide, Liar, NCAA, NRA, Roll Tide, SEC, Saban, Sports | 3 Comments »