Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Even With the Help of Steroids, Tim Couch Still Sucks

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 30, 2007

Tim Couch former Kentucky QB Spurrier God, whose NFL career was a lot like a Jenna Jamison sex scene, he sucked a lot, took it up the ass on cue and still didn’t get any respect has a new problem. Before you judge Couch based on his past record keep in mind, that was the old Tim Tebow Couch, the new Tim Tebow Couch is trying to make it back in to the NFL, but even with the help of Barry Bonds Juice steroids, he still sucks ass.

“Former No. 1 NFL draft pick Tim Couch had doping regimens that called for anabolic steroids and human growth hormone, according to documents obtained by

Couch, cut by the Jacksonville Jaguars earlier this month, told he used HGH for about a week, under a doctor’s care, in hopes it would help him recover from shoulder surgery. He denied using steroids or any other banned drugs and said he had never seen the documents.

Couch’s agent, Tom Condon, didn’t return a phone call from The Associated Press, and the NFL had no comment.

The documents detail three regimens — 72-day, 80-day and 55-day programs — dated Jan. 26, 2006, Sept. 18, 2006 and Nov. 27, 2006, according to

Tim no reason to lie, you were already cut buddy. NFL teams have long memories, and they clearly remember you sucking, sucking long and hard. I have a feeling Tim’s agent didn’t return the call is because he thought it was some sort of joke. He was probably thinking “Tim…Tim…wait isn’t that the suck ass QB that the Browns drafted in 99? I thought he like died…he owes me twenty dollars”.

“Jaguars spokesman Dan Edwards said Tuesday that Couch’s release had nothing to do with the drug allegations.

“It was strictly a personnel decision based on performance, or lack of performance is a better word. God he sucked!!! We let him try out just for some comedy relief.” Edwards said.

Couch told that he passed a drug test when he signed with the Jaguars. Edwards said the NFL’s drug-testing policy is confidential, and results are not shared with teams. Teams are only notified when players are suspended for violating the policy, he said.”

So basically no really checked Tim’s drug test because well, they knew he would be cut because he sucks. Rumor has it Tim is running a QB clinic of up coming college QB’s. He has already had someone graduate with Tim’s praise and approval.

The new Tim Tebow Couch, his name is Brady Quinn.

So I profess on this day 8/30/07.



6 Responses to “Even With the Help of Steroids, Tim Couch Still Sucks”

  1. yojoe said

    The only thing more gay is to watch Weis salivate over him and how brave his is. Brave enough get stoped by LSU last year.


  2. Frankie.B said

    A liar and a doper.

    Just like Tom Brady and Lance Pharmstromng


  3. lololol said

    LANCE ARMSTRONG ROCKS!!! but tom brady sucks!!

    • Zel Fallingwater said

      Lance ArmTongs – errr, Armstrong is a frigging jerk! He’s a dope-freak, too. Time has proven so since you left this message!

  4. Zel Fallingwater said

    Gay is just a state of mind, y’all – phuck! Do you not realize that one of Tim’s kids could one day can access this site… come on, now… you do not want to be the reason for some poor kid questioning his Dad’s sexuality do you? Kids are cool and this is just uncalled for!

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