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Archive for August 31st, 2007

Ozzie Guillen is Clearly a Target of the Liberal Media.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 31, 2007

Ozzie Guillen who is perhaps the most politically correct person in sports, has been a target of the liberal media sports giants such as ESPN, Sports Illustrated, The Sporting News and many others for a few years now. Now the they have all decided to gang up on him yet again by claiming he has a potty mouth, and is questioning his teams commitment. Knowing the history of this fine and righteous man I’m sure the liberal media “paraphrased” his words. So I’m here to set the story straight.

“It’s embarrassing day in and day out to do the same stuff,” Guillen said. “People are blaming our pitching staff, but the offense comes along and puts more dirt on the grave. Everyone in that room should look in the mirror and be embarrassed.”

Less than two years after winning the World Series, the White Sox (57-76) are in last place in the AL Central.

“We’ve got a $100 million payroll and they don’t show it on the field,” Guillen said. “If this keeps up, bring on the Double-A kids. They’re killing me. They’re killing my family, my coaching staff and the White Sox fans. I hope they care the way we care. I’m tired of seeing this shit every day.”

What the Oz man was really saying was:

“I’m truly sorry in the team’s lack of success this season. People seem to think it’s all the pitching staffs fault. I’m here to say, though they have under performed, they are fine fellows. I believe the White Sox need to heal, not as a team but as a family. Then wait till next year.

We have been blessed with such great owners who pay us all well, but I believe as an organization it would only be fair to the Double A players, to give them a shot at the big league. Oh to see the joy on those youngsters faces. Myself and my loving family are hurt emotionally by our record, as the fans are hurt as well. The fan know we care and I’m going to take the proper steps to correct it.”

“I’m tired of seeing that shit, day in and day out. And I don’t want to spend a miserable September seeing the same shit. If I have to see the same shit, I told [team GM Kenny Williams], ‘Bring somebody up. Fuck it.’ If it’s my fault, I should be moving out of here then. If it’s my fault, fucking fire my ass and I’ll be fine. I have the job to do, and I get paid a lot of fucking money to make this club work, but it’s not easy to work with people like that. It’s not easy.”

What the Oz man really said was:

“Even with the mistakes my players make, I love watching them day in and day out. I think September would be a perfect time to bring up some farm league talent. I try to imagine how nonsupporting former managers of mine have been, and be the complete opposite. I’ll do some reflection later tonight, and if I see that our woeful record is actually a result of my actions, then I suggest I should be relieved of my duties. Don’t worry about me, even with all that I give to charity, I’m financially alright. Thank you for your time and attentiveness, now suck my cock and fuck off”

So I profess on this day 8/31/07.


Posted in Chicago White Sox, MLB, Ozzie Guillen, Sports, baseball | 1 Comment »

Ex Ohio State President: Damn Those Riots Were Bad, God I Need Sex

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 31, 2007

Ohio State…known for Woody Hays, ESPN’s newest Big East tool Kirk Herbstreit, getting their asses handed to them in two national championship games in separate sports by Florida in the same year and of course they know how to throw a great riot. Well it seems an ex-president, in a job interview of all things, has spoken out about the 2002 riots that basically says the Ohio State student population are really looters, thugs & closet West Virginia fans.

“A former Ohio State University president who cracked down on game-day behavior during her tenure at the school lambasted Buckeyes fans in a recent job interview, saying they looked for any excuse to riot.

“When you win a game, you riot. When you lose a game, you riot. When spring comes, you riot. African-American Heritage Festival weekend, you riot, Karen Holbrook said last week during a videotaped interview for the president’s job at Florida Gulf Coast University.”

*She went on further to say “when a freshman girl has just swallowed for the first time, you riot, when I had an orgasm I rioted, of course I haven’t rioted in a very very very long time.”

“She told officials there that she confronted a culture of rioting when she arrived at Ohio State in 2002 and that she witnessed people doing “disgusting things, unbelievable things” on a videotape she ordered made after the Ohio State-Michigan game that year.

“They think it’s fun to flip cars, to really have absolute drunken orgies. … I don’t want to be at a place that has this kind of culture as a norm,” she said.

*She elaborated “I mean if I can’t have a flipping orgasm Molly McFatty Skank isn’t going to participate in a orgy. Sorry honey Mommy still loves you.”

“After her comments, released by the Florida university, got back to Ohio and the 52,000-student university, she softened her tone, noting that her negative remarks represented five minutes out of 10 hours of talks with officials of the Florida school, much of which focused on Ohio State’s positives.

“People have ignored every other wonderful thing about a great institution that I bragged about, and that is what concerns me,” Holbrook said Thursday from her Florida home.”

Notice how she pulled a Saban there? Nice…

“Holbrook said she was barraged with complaints after she led a crackdown on tailgating and game-day behavior after 2002 riots made national news.

“They said, ‘You’re a goodie two-shoes. You don’t understand what it is to be a Buckeye,’” she said. “Maybe that’s true, but I didn’t think this great university deserved the black eye to its reputation for this kind of behavior.”

*”She continued by saying “Then my husband called me a frigid bitch in between doing Jager bombs of the ass of a cheerleader. That bastard. He said lighten up live a little, he ran off with a drama major, can you imagine a damn drama major”

“Holbrook oversaw a crackdown on tailgating and game-day behavior after 2002 riots made national news. She retired in June with a $250,000 exit bonus, then applied for the Florida Gulf Coast job this month. Holbrook later withdrew from consideration for the Florida job.”

By retired I believe they mean “fired” & by exit bonus I think it’s also called a “severance package”.


Let’s Riot Bitches!!!

So I profess on this day 8/31/07.


Posted in Florida Gators, Karen Holbrook, NCAA, Ohio State, Sports, big 10, big ten, buckeyes, football, riots | 1 Comment »