Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for September, 2007

The Revelations After a Saturdays Worth of Football Week 5

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 30, 2007

Wow upset Saturday has come and gone. So for fun I’m going rate each upset with a scale going from 1-10. One being not that big of an upset and 10 being holy shit God must hate that team upset.

  • #5 West Virginia @ #18 South Florida. Upset factor 6. It was a home game and WVU hadn’t played anyone worth a damn all season, plus South Florida just has their number.
  • #21 Penn State @ Illinois. Upset factor 7. Even though I would have picked Penn State to win this game, if you recall I did mention in Week 1 that the Fighting Zookers Illini were getting better and it will show this season.
  • #3 Oklahoma @ Colorado. Upset factor 10. In week one I stated that this Buffalo team would be a force in 4 years, but after this game it will be more like 2. Bob Stoops is probably pissed off and shocked right now, so maybe he’s thinking of going somewhere else, like say Tennessee. :)
  • Kansas State @ #7 Texas. Upset factor 5. If it wasn’t for the fact that this was a home game for Texas the factor would have been lower. I’ve been saying all year that Texas is highly overrated, because they have been flirting with disaster all season. This is a good K-State team, they gave Auburn all they could handle earlier this year, plus they beat Texas last year.
  • #13 Clemson @ Ga. Tech. Upset factor 4. It was home game for Tech, and Clemson always falls apart right about now. Not to mention that Chance was back in the lineup & Tech is a completely different team when he is leading them on the field.
  • Maryland @ 10 Rutgers. Upset factor 5. Only the fact that this was a road game raises the factor to 5. By all accounts one can make the claim that Maryland could have been 3-1 going into this game. Rutgers hadn’t played a team with a pulse all season. It’s funny everyone was talking about Rutgers being the team the beat in the Big Least, I guess Maryland proved them wrong.
  • #22 Alabama @ Florida State. Upset factor 1. Alabama had no business being ranked to begin with. Plus was a neutral field in Jacksonville. Which really means 80% of those attending were FSU fans.
  • Auburn @ #4 Florida. Upset factor 7. I know shocking right? As previously stated in the posting about the game, Turbeville is one of the best road coaches in the country. Turbeville is to Florida as Spurrier is to Tennessee.

Other things I noticed

If USC (the one that wins titles) keeps making mistakes like they did last night, they will not survive their PAC 10 road schedule.

With all due respect to Minnesota, Ohio State & ESPN 2, no one cares about this game!! You could have shown a better game like Georgia & Ole Miss.

Wisconsin incredibility is still the team to beat in the Big Eleven Ten.

Though they lost Michigan State will still have a great season.

Woodson for Heisman! Woodson for Heisman!

Notre Dame is 0-5. They might be able to afford to fire Charlie “the Jabba” Weis, but I’m sure the athletic director of Notre Dame, the same one that fired Willingham, is feeling the noose tighten around his neck.

Oh look Iowa lost again. That’s because they SUCK!

Dave Wannstedt should be calling a moving company right about now.

Washington has some homely looking cheerleaders.

Texas Tech worked out any sexual frustrations they might have had by scoring 75 points.

I see Mike “I’m a man I’m 40!” Gundy’s whipped lowly Sam Houston State.

There could be a QB controversy brewing at Notre Dame.

I received my first injury of this football season by dropping the remote on my foot. Don’t worry I’ll tough it out.

 

Right now South Florida is the number

one team in the state of Florida!!!! ;)

So I profess on this day 9/30/07.

TtT

Posted in A. Woodson, ACC, Alabama Crimson Tide, Auburn, Bama Bangs, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Big 12, Big East, Big Twelve Football, Bob Stoops, Charlie Weis, College Gameday, Colorado Buffalos, Crimson Tide, Dave Wannstedt, Dawgs, ESPN, Fighting Illini, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Florida Sucks, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Illinois Fighting Illini, Iowa Hawkeyes, K-State, Kansas State Wildcats, Kentucky Wildcats, Maryland, Michigan State Spartons, Mike Gundy, Minnesota Gophers, Nick Saban, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Oklahoma State Cowboys, Oklahoma sooners, Ole Miss, Pac 10, Penn State Nittany Lions, Ron Zook, Rutgers, SEC, Sam Houton State, South Florida Bulls, Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech Red Raiders, The Big East, University of Southern Cal, War Eagle, Washington Huskies, West Virginia Mountaineers, Wisconsin Badgers, Zooker, big 10, big ten, clemson, fire philip fulmer, notre dame sucks, ohio state buckeyes, southern cal, tommy Turbeville, tyrone Willingham, upsets | Leave a Comment »

Turbeville Saves his Job as Auburn Drain the Gators in the Swamp.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 30, 2007

All the jorts, mullets, badly body painted fans and home cooking referees couldn’t prevent Auburn and the band of Bama bangs players from draining the swamp and defeating Florida on the road. Irony can be a bitch sometimes, on the very day that MSNBC ran a story that states Urban Meyer credits last seasons national championship to the loss to Auburn, the gators lose to them yet again.

“When Florida coach Urban Meyer walked into the locker room after losing at Auburn last season, the scene was surreal.

There were tears, tirades, fights and finger-pointing.

“It was wild,” Meyer recalled. “It was a tough deal. One of the coaches said we’ve got to get this thing under control and I said, ‘No, let it go.’ So we let it go for about 15 minutes. I wanted them to clear the air.

We cleared the air and we dried everybody’s eyes and we had a State of the Union on Monday – where we’re at, where we need to be, where we want to go and how are we going to get there.”

The Gators regrouped and responded better than anyone could have imagined. The defending national champions haven’t lost since.

The fourth-ranked Gators (4-0, 2-0) have won 11 straight since that upsetting – and unifying – 27-17 loss at Jordan-Hare Stadium last October.

Wait you had players crying? There’s no crying in football! Damn! Well, that 11 straight game win streak went down the toilet tonight. On the night that saw the legendary Wilbur Marshall be inducted into Florida’s “Ring Of Fame”, an 18 game home win streak was snapped thanks to great defense and leg of a true freshman kicker. Meyer let Marshall down, he’s such a dick head.


Yes Auburn fans feel free to steal use the pic.

“On a day filled with upsets, Auburn turned in one of the biggest.

Freshman Wes Byrum kicked a 43-yard field goal as time expired to lift the Tigers to a 20-17 victory over fourth-ranked Florida on Saturday night.

The loss snapped an 11-game winning streak for the defending national champions and gave the Gators their first home loss under coach Urban Meyer. They had won 18 in a row, 17 straight since Meyer took over in 2005.

It also might have jeopardized Florida’s chances of repeating. Then again, with all the other upsets Saturday, the Gators surely won’t slip too far out of the picture.”

Watch for stories in the media that might address the home cooking refs that officiated the game. Example: a Florida player cleanly caught a punt and was immediately tackled, a flag was thrown and the ref stated Auburn interfered with the catch. Needless to say Tommy Turbeville was lived, and had to be restrained by the defensive coordinator Will Muschamp, who for the record would make a good head coach at a school say….ummm….Tennessee. Turbeville also received a flag for his protest. Questionable calls have always plagued the SEC, but the in last 5 years they have been especially horrible.

“Auburn (3-2, 1-1) played sound defense, prevented Tim Tebow & Co. from making many big plays and took advantage of several mistakes to build a 14-0 lead at halftime.

The Tigers held on from there.

Byrum attempted the winning kick, just as Meyer called timeout. The kick was true, but Byrum had to do it again.

He did, and it was right down the middle.

Auburn used the final 4 minutes to set up the winning field goal. Ben Tate ran for 18 yards on the drive and Brandon Cox found Rodgeriqus Smith twice for 16 yards.

Byrum did the rest.

The Tigers rushed the field to celebrate and performed the “Gator Chomp” everywhere in front of 90,685 at Ben Hill Griffin Stadium.”

I wouldn’t count Florida out just yet, this season so far has been crazy. I would like to apologize to Auburn for the bad things I said about them when they lost to South Florida. I also stated that I would pull for Alabama in the Iron Bowl, that & the other things were said out of anger, besides I could never pull for Bama. Auburn might the best road team in the SEC for the past 5 years, Turbeville is 4 & 0 verses Florida, and 4 & 0 verses teams ranked in the top five. Alabama fans have had a good laugh at Auburn expense this season, but they aren’t laughing tonight. Bama lost to Florida State & there’s no excuse for that. So tonight it seems this is a duel victory for Auburn… and to the rest of the SEC click clack I think you hear Auburn coming.

So I profess on this day 9/30/07.

TtT

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, All SEC Teams Beware!!, Auburn, Florida Gators, Florida Sucks, SEC, SEC Coaches, Tebow, Urban Meyer, War Eagle, fulmer sucks, refs, tommy Turbeville, upsets | 6 Comments »

Look Out! The Mike Gundy-Jenni Carlson Saga Might be on Court TV.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 29, 2007

This was bound to happen, no doubt about it. It seems the mommy of the embattled Oklahoma State QB Bobby Reid, not to be confused with my hero and living God Ricky Bobby of the movie Talladega Nights, is planning to sue Jenni “Shut Up & Fix Me Some Pie Bitch” Carlson, over the now infamous article she wrote.

“Houston mother is upset with a sports writer who targeted her son.

For the first time we are hearing what Oklahoma State University player Bobby Reid’s mother has to say about the controversial article and the fallout around it.

“This numbness feeling fell over me first,” Rajika Reid told Eyewitness News. “I really couldn’t believe this lady was making this attack towards myself and my son.”

That’s how Rajika Reid says she felt after reading what she calls a scathing article written in The Daily Oklahoman about her son, OSU quarterback Bobby Reid.

“To come at him the way they did and to belittle him, it sickens him and it sickens me as well.”

But it was head coach Mike Gundy’s comments that caught the attention of the nation.

“I was like woo!” she said. “But I thought it was so noble of him to do that.”

Jenni Carlson, who wrote the article about Reid, stands by her work.”

Woo to be the man you have to beat the man! and the man is Mike Gundy. Sorry Ric Flair flashback. While I understand her feelings, minus the numbness part that’s stupid, Rajika couldn’t complain herself instead she whined to Coach Gundy about it.

“Jenni Carlson, who wrote the article about Reid, stands by her work.

“I firmly believe that my reporting is solid, my sources are solid, my observations are solid, so I stand firmly on the facts of the column,” she said.

Ms. Reid took particular exception to how Carlson described her feeding Bobby Reid after OSU’s loss to Troy State. “It’s a lie, I’m like, no this didn’t happen,” Reid told us. “It’s not true what she said about me feeding my son chicken.”

“She mentioned how a college kid would rather run through the campus naked than to be coddled by their mother and I’m like no, no that’s horrible,” Reid said. “It’s very malicious to do that and you don’t know anything about my son.”

Now this mom plans to take a page out of Coach Gundy’s playbook and defend her son, but this time in a court of law.

Columnist Jenni Carlson says she based her article on good sources and observation. Reid is questioning that because she says Carlson wasn’t in attendance when OSU played Troy State.

I talked to a member of OSU’s football media relations department who confirms that Carlson didn’t cover the game.”

Uh oh that could be a problem for Jenni a major one at that. You can’t comment on something if you weren’t there to observe it. Look out Judge Judy Gundygate is coming to your courtroom. In a way I have to agree with Reid’s mommy, the article was a personal attack. Now why would Jenni single out Reid like that? The answer is simple he didn’t send a friend request to Jenni’s myspace page. Unfortunately she changed her profile to private, but a friend of mine got some good off it before she did and sent it to me. Let’s have a look.


Bowling? No comment… Her musical interests suck ass, Partically Saliva it’s a wonder she didn’t list Nicholback.


Drink or six? Alrighty then…I can’t resist. You drunken whore no wonder only you observed Reid being fed by mommy, it was a drunken fantasy. And Ryan Reaves sucks.

 


Wow she laid the f-bomb on her blog, not to smart.

Ugly friend, notice to beer bottle. This is the first picture I’ve seen of her that covers her vulcan like ears. Does she have a gut or is it the dress? I’m betting gut. Alright time for football!!

So I profess on this day 9/29/07.

TtT

Posted in Big Twelve Football, Bobby Reid, Jenni Carlson, Judge Judy, Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State Cowboys, Rajika Reid, Rips Media, ass chewing, court tv | 1 Comment »

South Florida Bullies West Virginia to their First Lose of the Season.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 29, 2007

West Virginia’s offense certainly didn’t look super. For the second straight year South Florida beats West Virginia. In a game filled with turn overs for both teams it was apparent that WVU is South Florida’s hillbilly bitch.

“No. 18 South Florida is not only basking in the national spotlight, the Bulls are thriving in it.

Matt Grothe upstaged West Virginia stars Pat White and Steve Slaton for the second straight year, leading rapidly rising USF to a 21-13 victory over the mistake-prone, fifth-ranked Mountaineers on Friday night.

Grothe scrambled to avoid a sack before throwing a 55-yard touchdown pass to Carlton Mitchell, and Ben Moffitt returned one of his two interceptions 26 yards for a TD to lead a stellar defensive performance in the Big East opener.”

Like I’ve been saying all season West Virginia was over rated. I’ll admit South Florida’s defense is impressive, but their offense isn’t. Defense wins games. If you have a fair offense and a great defense you can win a lot. This is the first team WVU has played that has a defense and look at the outcome. To give you an idea of WVU’s strength of schedule so far based upon the teams they have played this year, they rank at 117 pathetic.

West Virginia (4-1, 0-1) averaged 357 yards rushing in its first four games, but only managed 188 on the ground after surprisingly opening the game throwing on seven of its first 11 offensive plays.

The Mountaineers lost White late in the second quarter after the junior quarterback was hit in the right knee on a running play. He limped off the field and remained on the sideline, but did not return.

Slaton, the other half of West Virginia’s explosive tandem, was held to 54 yards rushing on 13 carries and fumbled twice. The running back also had a poorly thrown pass glance off him and wind up in the hands of Moffitt for the linebacker’s second interception — and the Mountaineers’ sixth turnover.”

Moffitt mounted West Virginia and ass raped them much like the Deliverance movie, make no mistake about it. The reason White and Slaton have been so productive is again, look at the caliber of teams they were playing. I’m not taking anything from them, Slaton is a first round pick, White won’t NFL QB because of his height, but could another Hines Ward type of player. This West Virginia offense wasn’t accustomed to being hit like they were, smash mouth style.

“White’s backup, Jarrett Brown, threw a 9-yard TD pass to Darius Reynaud to trim West Virginia’s deficit to 21-13 with 5:45 remaining. He had the Mountaineers on the move again when USF (4-0, 1-0) held them on downs at the Bulls 40 in the final minute.

The victory before a record crowd for a USF home game (67,018), figures to propel the Bulls to unprecedented heights for a program that has only been in existence for 11 seasons. They moved up to the Football Bowl Subdivision, formerly known as Division I-A, in 2001 and entered the Top 25 for the first time two weeks ago.”

Brown moved the ball better against South Florida than White did. How embarrassing is it to lose to a program twice in a row that has only been in existence for 11 seasons? Rich Rodriguez won’t have to worry about applying to Taco Bell anytime soon, people in Morgantown still consider him as the Messiah reborn, only with green card and an accent.


Except this guy he was pissed about losing

“West Virginia coach Rich Rodriguez and his players played down redemption as extra motivation for the Mountaineers, saying they their focus was solely on playing better than a year ago.

It didn’t happen.

In the first half alone, USF forced three fumbles — two by Slaton — and defensive end Jarriett Buie hit White as he released the pass that Moffitt intercepted with a clear path to the end zone.

The Mountaineers also hurt themselves with other costly mistakes, including a bad snap that contributed to Slaton’s second fumble and another errant snap that sailed over Brown’s head and forced West Virginia to settle for the field goal that trimmed their deficit to 14-3 just before the half.”

The reason for all those mistakes? One South Florida has tremendous speed on the defense and two, West Virginia folded in a hostile environment. I’m sure the city of Morgantown is in flames due to the massive amount of couches being burned in anger. There might even be a small contention fans who want Rodriguez deported. The season is still young unless you’re a West Virginia fan, then it’s flat out over.


John Denver would be so proud.

So I profess on this day 9/29/07.

TtT

Posted in Big East, Coach Rich Rodriguez, South Florida Bulls, Sports, WVU, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, mullets, upsets, whiners | 2 Comments »

The Number 23 Effects Florida State Athletics in a Negative Way.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 28, 2007

Ever see the movie “Number 23″? It’s a good decent rental or Netflex movie. However what isn’t decent are student athletes cheating. What student athletes cheat? Well, apparently so at least at FSU, I’m sure others do as well just they’re smart enough not to get busted.

“Two athletic department academic assistance employees have resigned and 23 Florida State University athletes were implicated in cheating on tests given over the Internet, school officials said Wednesday.

The athletes represent nine sports and 17 of the students are or have been on scholarship. Officials could not identify the students and could not say which sports are involved because of federal confidentiality restrictions.

University President T.K. Wetherell reported the findings in a letter to the NCAA. He indicated inquires are continuing although an internal investigation failed to find conclusive evidence of a more widespread pattern of cheating.

The students could face punishment from the university and NCAA including loss of eligibility. The NCAA also could sanction the university, but spokesman Erik Christianson said it would be speculative and declined comment.”

What ever happened to simple way of cheating by concocting a hair brain way to break into the professors office at 3:45 AM mission impossible style, and stealing the answers to the tests? Now that’s cheating though hard work. I also I seem to remember that one someone got caught cheating they were kicked out of college…oh wait they are athletes my mistake.

“Wetherell ordered an investigation by the university’s Office of Audit Services in May after receiving information an athletics department learning specialist had directed one athlete to take an online quiz for another and then provided the answers.

The student who took the test was not enrolled in the class and reported what happened to his athletics academic advisor. Neither he nor the other athlete, who had been unaware someone else took the test for him, were disciplined, the report said.

The investigation then found the learning specialist also typed papers for five students who apparently didn’t qualify for that service and a tutor provided answers or other unethical assistance to 23 students for online tests. The testing involved a single course, which was not identified.

“Some students from the 2007 semester indicated that it was common knowledge among the student athletes that the tutor would help with the exams in the class,” the report said.

The learning specialist and tutor resigned. They are not named in the report.

The tutor confirmed in an interview with the school’s auditors that he had been assisting students with answers for the online exams since the fall of 2006, according to the report.”

With all this help given to the athletes one would think the FSU football team could perform better, since they didn’t have the added pressure of studying they could just focus on playing. Before anyone asks of my knowledge with there were football players involved, you can visit this link to see that there were. The FSU president did comment on the scandal yesterday.

“Florida State University’s president said Thursday the school doesn’t know all the details of an academic cheating scandal that has already resulted in two employees being fired.

“I don’t like what we saw,” Wetherell said during a break at Thursday’s Board of Governors quarterly meeting. “It bothers us obviously that faculty or athletic staff people would have done what they did.”

“My real concern is what I don’t know at this point,” Wetherell said.”

And there’s been a ripple effect on the school’s athletic department.

Wetherell notified athletic director David Hart Jr. in late May that his contract would not be renewed shortly after two assistant athletic directors announced their resignations. The No. 2 person in the academic support program, Brenda Monk, resigned in July.

Although Hart’s contract runs until January 2009, he’s expected to leave late this year.”

Quick someone at South Carolina hire David Hart Jr. since they continue to have players be ruled ineligible due to academics.

“The NCAA has investigated similar allegations at a number of schools over the past decade that resulted in harsh penalties at Baylor, California, Fresno State, Georgia, Howard, Kentucky, Marshall, Miami, Minnesota, New Mexico State, San Diego State, Southern Cal and Texas Southern.”

I’m sure Aberclay 12 of The Leaky Brain and the Gridiron Goddess aren’t happy seeing their school listed there. ;)

So I profess on this day 9/28/07.

TtT

Posted in ACC, Bobby Bowden, FSU, Florida State Seminoles, NCAA, Noles, Scams, Sports, cheaters, trailer trash | 6 Comments »

Spurrier Leads the Gamecock Nation Into Another Bitch Session.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 28, 2007

Steve God Spurrier has never taken loses well, and he isn’t taking the lose to LSU well either. As always God Spurrier goes to the local liberal media icon WLTX, to whine about the lack of calls in the LSU game, however Les “Big Hat Small Penis” Miles isn’t hearing excuses.

“LSU coach Les Miles on Wednesday disputed coach Steve Spurrier’s contention there were “a couple of helmet-to-helmet” hits on a punt return against the University of South Carolina.

“It was helmet to back. It was a clip,” Miles said on the SEC coaches’ teleconference Wednesday. “The one that the flag was thrown on was a push in the back, and the second clip was a helmet-to-back, helmet-to-shoulder, but there was no helmet-to-helmet contact in my opinion.”

Spurrier was asked his reaction to Miles’ comments about the play in the second quarter in which at least three penalty flags were thrown against the Tigers.

“Oh, you guys need to go watch the tape,” Spurrier said.”

Oh wah wah God Spurrier, your team got beat plain and simple. Some Gamecock fan compiled a video of all the “missed” calls, and I admit there are some, but there are a lot flags being thrown, and I clearly remember seeing the refs mark off yards against LSU. Furthermore LSU was called for 3 more penalties than USC.

I know the music is horrible. Funny that this USC fan didn’t show all the calls the refs missed that would have been against USC. I hope God Spurrier can put this behind him and get ready for homecoming this weekend. I’d sure would hate to see Cockfest ruined. Yes I know that sounds like the title of gay porn but that is what USC is calling homecoming this year, and I even don’t have to think of anything smartass to say about that.

So I profess on this day 9/28/07.

TtT

Posted in Gamecocks, LSU Tigers, Les Miles, Old Ball Sack Coach, SEC Coaches, South Carolina Gamecocks, Sports, Steve Spurrier, bad calls, moral victories, refs, satire, whiners | 1 Comment »

Michael Vick Must Have a Burning Desire too go to Prison or he’s an Idiot.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 27, 2007

In this the latest chapter of Michael “Ron Ookie Mexico” Vick’s screwed up life, we find Vick curled into fetal position sobbing while on the phone with Marcus the loser little brother. The date is Sept. 12th
Michael: (sobs) Yo Marcus I can’t….can’t go on man.

Marcus: Yo big bro what are talking about what I think you’re talking about?

Michael: Yeah little not as talented as me brother…it’s time I end it. (breaks down crying Hysterically)

Marcus: Oh snap that means I’m going to the favorite son!

Michael: (Blows nose) Wha…what the fuck are you talking about?

Marcus: Well ain’t going to…you know off yourself? I mean you’re crying and all

Michael: I’m chopping onions I had to fire my chef. I was talking about ripping into this sweet herb I picked up in Miami.

Marcus: Oh snap I got ya. Light the shit up! Go Michael Go Michael. Toke toke toke

Michael: (sound of bong being hit) This is some good stuff. Man I wish you was here to enjoy this with me.

Marcus: Really?

Michael: No. (Laughes)

Marcus: Asshole I hope you get drug tested.

Michael: The man has already fucked with me enough they won’t do that.

Marcus: Well, I hope you get ass raped in prison then & mom loves me more (hangs up)

Apparently Michael was wrong because guess what, that’s right Vick failed a drug test. I wonder if Marcus tipped his pretrial services officer about that.

“Michael Vick is now likely one misstep from jail.

The disgraced Atlanta Falcons quarterback tested positive for marijuana earlier this month, a violation of the conditions of his release as he awaits sentencing in federal court on a dogfighting charge that already jeopardizes his freedom and career.

Now, he’s incurred the ire of the judge who could sentence him to up to five years in prison in the dogfighting case. On the day of Vick’s guilty plea, U.S. District Judge Henry Hudson warned that he wouldn’t be amused by any additional trouble.

Hudson, who will sentence Vick on Dec. 10, on Wednesday ordered him confined to his Virginia home between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. with electronic monitoring. He also must submit to random drug testing.

If Vick fails another drug test, he likely will wind up like co-defendant Quanis Phillips — incarcerated since his Aug. 17 plea hearing. Phillips failed a drug test when he had the electronic monitoring and random drug testing requirements.”

Quick someone call Vick and tempt him. It would be rather funny to see Vick take to express tour to prison. Great way to show you have “changed your ways” Michael, I see you “really learned your lesson”. I see where the actual notes that you used to make your apology went for over ten grand on E-bay, thus proving there’s a douche-bag moron born every minute.

“Vick’s positive urine sample was submitted Sept. 13, according to a document by a federal probation officer that was filed in U.S. District Court on Wednesday.

Because Vick violated the conditions of his release, Hudson could take that into consideration during sentencing, said Linda Malone, a criminal procedure expert and Marshall-Wythe Foundation professor of law at the College of William and Mary.

“Every judge considers pretty seriously if they feel that the defendant has flaunted the conditions for release,” she said.

“It’s certainly not a smart thing to do.”

Especially not when his behavior is being watched so closely, not only by the court that allowed him to remain free, but by the public whose forgiveness he’s seeking.”

I have feeling that 18 month sentence that Vick is banking on just got extended and he’s to stupid to realize it.

“In Atlanta, Vick’s one-time teammates tried to distances themselves from his latest troubles.

“That’s the last thing I’m worried about,” linebacker Keith Brooking said at the Falcons’ suburban practice facility. “We’re 0-3. We’re trying to get a win.”

Safety Lawyer Milloy agreed.

“I just want to play ball,” he said. “I’m so tired of talking about everything else, stuff we can’t control that has nothing to do with us.”

Finally someone from the Falcons organization that has the intestinal fortitude to be honest about this situation.

“The former Virginia Tech star was placed under pretrial release supervision by U.S. Magistrate Dennis Dohnal in July. The restrictions included refraining from use or unlawful possession of narcotic drugs or other controlled substances.

The random drug testing ordered Wednesday could include urine testing, the wearing of a sweat patch, a remote alcohol testing system or any form of prohibited substance screening or testing. Hudson’s order also requires Vick to participate in inpatient or outpatient substance therapy and mental health counseling if the pretrial services officer or supervising officer deem it appropriate. Vick must pay for the treatment.

Vick’s lead attorney, Billy Martin, also is representing Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, who pleaded guilty in an airport sex sting. During a press conference about Craig, Martin was asked to comment on Vick. He deflected the question, saying only, “I’m sure that in the future we’ll have something to say regarding Mr. Vick, but not now.”

Whoa Billy you basically have two losing cases on your hands. Now if you was to also take the latest OJ case will you get a set of steak knives from the American Bar Association? Vick should be lucky I’m not his pretrial officer, I would deem it appropriate for him to attend every 12 step program I could find. I would also deem it appropriate to have Vick get kicked in the nuts by every PETA member I could find as well.

In January, Vick was cleared by police of any wrongdoing after his water bottle was seized by security at Miami International Airport. Police said it smelled of marijuana and had a hidden compartment that contained a “small amount of dark particulate.”

Lab tests found no evidence of drugs, and Vick explained that he used the secret compartment to carry jewelry.

Jewelry doesn’t leave a dark particulate behind, unless Vick brought the jewelry from QVC. That may be the case, a birthday present of Marcus. The sad thing is Vick could probably get better weed in prison, ask any Florida Gator they could tell you that. I can’t wait to see what Michael does next as he draws ever closer to earning the douche-bag of decade award. Anyone hear from Marcus lately?

So I profess on this day 9/27/07.

TtT

Posted in Atlanta Falcons, Goodell, Herban Meyer, Michael Vick, NFL, PTI, Prison for Vick, Sports, bad newz kennels, conVick, dog fighting, drugs, guilty, marcus vick, pitbull, pot | 6 Comments »

Bobby Bowden Shows Spurrier how Discipline is Done FSU Style.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 26, 2007

People say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, Bobby Bowden says hogwash to that. Most people in this area of the country see God Spurrier the same way I do, brilliant offensive mind but an extremely weak disciplinarian. Bobby Bowden not only owns God Spurrier on the field but now he has stepped up or should I say stepped down his methods of punishment, just to show God Spurrier that no matter what, Bowden as more championships, more head to head wins & can match Spurrier’s weak style of discipline.

“Florida State linebacker Geno Hayes has been demoted to the second-team after being arrested for an altercation with police outside a bar.

Hayes and fullback Joe Surratt, who is sitting out the season with an injury, were suspended Friday after being arrested earlier in the day. The Seminoles were idle Saturday and coach Bobby Bowden reinstated Hayes on Tuesday.

Florida State plays No. 22 Alabama in Jacksonville on Saturday and Hayes will not start.

Bowden also ordered Hayes to get behavioral counseling and perform community service besides other unspecified internal discipline.”

Three days not to shabby and during a break in the schedule. They can call it second team all they want, that just means he wasn’t on the field for the first kickoff. Notice how he’s allow to play against Alabama? Nice… Sure Emanuel Lewis Cook can presently play for the Ole Ball Sack Coach while he awaits his trial for federal gun charges, but Hayes was arrested for assault on an officer, resisting arrest without violence and disorderly conduct. Not to mention he got bomared by the Po Po because they decided to Taser him. I believe even Spurrier would bench him for at least 2 games for that.

“Hayes issued an apology through Florida State to the school, fans, teammates, coaches and his family.

“I have always taken pride in representing myself and this university in a positive manner and unfortunately, I did not live up to those standards on this occasion,” he said. “I realize I cannot make another mistake of this or any other nature.”

No disciplinary action has been taken against Joe Surratt, a senior.

Surratt was charged with a felony count of battery on an officer. University officials said his status will be determined as his case moves through the legal process. The school’s disciplinary policy prohibits students from participating in athletics while under a felony charge.

The policy, though, permits Hayes to play because the charges against him are misdemeanors. That gave Bowden authority to discipline Hayes, after review by athletic director Dave Hart.”

Hayes you’re a wuss. How does one resist arrest without violence anyway? Do they scream rape or cry like a bitch. I love the fact no disciplinary action is being taken against Surratt, after all he only hit a cop, plus he’s a senior. I love how the article states it won’t allow players to play if felony charges are hanging over their head, but it fails to mention that Surratt also has a broken leg so he’s basically done for the year. Emanuel Lewis Cook should be glad he’s not at FSU because according to this he wouldn’t be playing at all.

So I profess on this day 9/26/07.

TtT

Posted in ACC, Bobby Bowden, Discipline, ESPN, FSU, Florida State Seminoles, PTI, Police, Sports, Steve Spurrier, court tv, jorts, satire | 2 Comments »

Things aren’t going as Planned for Anucha Browne Sanders & the Isiah Thomas Sexual Harassment Trial

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 26, 2007

As the sexual harassment trial of Isiah Thomas winds down, I’ve noticed that things aren’t really going has planned for A. Browne Sanders or her attorneys. On September 13th Sanders indicated that Stephon Marbury took advantage of an intern that worked for MSG (Madison Square Garden) in an attempt to lay the ground work to show the attitude of how female employees are viewed there. Well that intern in question, Kathleen Decker, took the stand and basically said what I already said, that she wasn’t taken advantage of instead she’s just a whore.

“A Madison Square Garden employee testified Monday that she had consensual sex with New York Knicks guard Stephon Marbury, contradicting earlier claims by a former executive suing the organization for sexual discrimination.

Kathleen Decker took the witness stand in a crowded Manhattan courtroom to try to settle for a jury what happened the night of her birthday in 2005 when she met Marbury at a strip club and got into the basketball star’s truck.

She said she was not intoxicated when she left the club in Mount Vernon, N.Y., intending to get a ride home with Marbury’s cousin. Instead, she encountered Marbury sitting in his truck calling out to her.

“Stephon Marbury asked me: ‘Are you going to get in the truck?’ and I got in the truck,” she told the jury. Asked if the sex was consensual, she answered, “Completely … I was in control.”

One lawyer asked her if Marbury raped her. “Never,” she responded.

The testimony came after fired MSG vice president Anucha Browne Sanders testified as part of her sexual harassment case that Decker told her she felt no choice but to submit to Marbury’s advances.”

Oooohhhh that really hurts A. Browne Sanders case. It portrays her a liar and shows she should keep her nose in her own business. Plus the intern is freak…sweet, I need to submit my resume to MSG immediately.

“Decker was called as a witness by MSG to support its arguments that Browne Sanders was planning all along to sue Madison Square Garden and spent time before she was fired trying to build her case.

On cross examination, Decker, who was an intern at the time of the incident, said her superiors made her feel that her job might be in jeopardy after revealing the facts about the night of her birthday.

Decker became most emotional during her half-hour on the witness stand when she testified that Browne Sanders had been mean to her during encounters before she described the Marbury episode.

“She told me to sit down and she started yelling,” Decker said.”

Sounds like A. Browne Sanders was a little jealous to me.

“In November 2005, Decker was summoned to the offices of Browne Sanders and two other employees to describe her birthday encounter with Marbury and his cousin as part of a probe of sexual harassment allegations against Marbury’s cousin, also an MSG employee, she testified.

Decker said she told them the cousin had made an inappropriate comment to her nearly a year earlier but that she did not want to file a complaint. She added that she had an outside work relationship with him as well.”

See she was banging the cousin before getting with Marbury, what a ho. I wish I could find a picture of her on the net.

“While speaking alone with Browne Sanders in her office, Decker described her birthday night, she said. On the witness stand, she disputed Browne Sanders’ account of the night and said she never told anyone she regretted her night with Marbury.

“I didn’t say it,” she said.”

You go Stephon, I hope you gave her complimentary pair of Starburys though. Cause a ho gots to get paid something.

The man, the legend, the one and only Isiah Thomas also took the stand to dispute the claims made by A. Browne Sanders.

“Smiling New York Knicks coach Isiah Thomas climbed onto the witness stand Tuesday, charming a federal jury and recalling his storied basketball career as he defended himself against sex discrimination charges brought by a fired team executive.

As he described his past, Thomas elicited smiles from jurors in U.S. District Court in Manhattan, where he has been vilified by former Madison Square Garden vice president Anucha Browne Sanders and portrayed as mostly competent and professional by defense witnesses who preceded him.

His testimony came soon after MSG Chairman James Dolan told jurors he fired Browne Sanders upon learning she tried to get her subordinates to help build her case against Thomas.

Thomas, 46, said Browne Sanders greeted him with a hug and kiss his first day as president of basketball operations in December 2003 but then almost immediately “did something that I didn’t think was too cool.”

He said she told his subordinate to put the weekly budget meeting Browne Sanders hosted on his schedule after Thomas had told her he was not sure he could attend. Later on, he said, Browne Sanders insisted he check with her before making trades because she was responsible for all profit and loss in the Knicks budget. Thomas said he believed he was responsible for the Knicks team budget, including player salaries. “I really couldn’t figure out what I was supposed to be doing with Anucha,” Thomas testified. “I really didn’t know how she fit.”

Well, Isiah you’re the coach and general manager so the budget should fall upon your shoulders, however if you didn’t know she fit into the organization you should seek the answer from Dolan.

” Much has been made at the trial about the early 2004 arrival to the Knicks of guard Stephon Marbury, a trade Thomas testified was part of his promise “to breathe life back into the franchise” with exciting players and more discipline and structure on the team.

Thomas said he told Browne Sanders that Marbury could have as many passes to his first game as he wanted, especially because he had a large family and had not told the Knicks which family members were most important. Marbury testified earlier in the trial that Browne Sanders made it seem that it would be difficult for him to get as many passes as he wanted for relatives.”

A. Browne Sanders clearly didn’t like Marbury I think that’s rather evident. After all the intern got with him and she was jealous of that.

“Earlier Tuesday, Dolan testified another company executive told him Browne Sanders tampered with an internal investigation by trying to persuade subordinates to support her.

He said he was also told before the firing that she was demanding $6 million not to lodge a harassment complaint. The interference, he said, “would certainly have been grounds for a dismissal” but wasn’t the only reason. “She was not capable of performing her duties and was not going to become capable of performing her duties,” he said, describing her failure to adequately prepare financial information.”

So she was stupid. So far this sounds like to me that A, Browne Sanders was upset over the fact she was going to fired, so she took it upon herself to “build a case” against MSG and New York Knicks. In this trial nothing has come out to support her claims, instead what has come out is she inaccurate with her facts. You have to wonder if someone is this inaccurate during their own lawsuit that they filed, just how inaccurate was she at performing her job. The only thing she has shown is she knows everyone else’s business except her own.

So I profess on this day 9/26/07.

TtT

Posted in Anucha Browne Sanders, Isiah Thomas, Kathleen Decker, NBA, New York Knicks, Scams, Sexual-Harassment Case, Sports, Stephon Marbury, basketball | 2 Comments »

Michael “Ron Mexico” Vick Indicted With State Charges & Is Being Sued By Bank

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 26, 2007

Good news everyone today you get a two for one posting on the adventures of Michael Ookie Vick the dog killing NFL QB. As if facing federal charges weren’t bad enough, Surry County Commonwealth’s Attorney Gerald G. Poindexter had Vick & the three S.H.I.T.s (Superheros in Training) were indicted on state charges on Tuesday. Boy Mama Vick is already mad about her meal ticket son facing federal charges this might send her to beat Marcus, the “loser little brother”, out of general purpose.

“Michael Vick and three co-defendants were indicted by a grand jury Tuesday on state charges related to a dogfighting ring operated on Vick’s Virginia property.

Vick, who already pleaded guilty in federal court to a dogfighting conspiracy charge and is awaiting sentencing Dec. 10, was indicted on one count of beating or killing or causing dogs to fight other dogs and one count of engaging in or promoting dogfighting. Each count is a felony, punishable by up to five years in prison.

The grand jury declined to indict the Atlanta Falcons quarterback and two co-defendants on eight counts of killing or causing to be killed a companion animal, which would have exposed them to as many as 40 years in prison if convicted.

Surry County Commonwealth’s Attorney Gerald G. Poindexter asked that the four be arraigned Oct. 3 and requested that each be released on a $50,000 personal recognizance bond. None of the defendants nor their lawyers were in court.”

“We are disappointed that these charges were filed in Surry County since it is the same conduct covered by the federal indictment for which Mr. Vick has already accepted full responsibility” and pleaded guilty, Billy Martin, one of Vick’s attorneys, said in a statement.

Martin said Vick’s legal team would examine the charges “to ensure that he is not held accountable for the same conduct twice.”

Whether or not these most current charges stick remains to be seen though, I personally hope they do. The bond is joke though, the S.H.I.T.s couldn’t afford clothes from Goodwill much less that. Good call Poindexter!!! :) I’m not an attorney, but I play one on this blog, so what I think Vick’s attorneys are failing to realize is he pleaded guilty to federal charges not state charges. I also play a brain surgeon, political pundit, the entire cast of the Broadway production of Les Miserables, Trent Reznor & the Marlboro man on this blog.

“Laura Taylor with the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Eastern District of Virginia said the office would have no comment.

The charges are the first leveled against Vick in the county where he built a home on 15 acres that was the base of the dogfighting operation.

The grand jury — made up of two black men, two black women and two white women — met for more than three hours.

“These are serious charges, and we can assure you that this grand jury was not driven by racial prejudice, their affection or lack of affection for professional athletes, or the influence of animal rights activists and the attendant publicity,” Sheriff Harold Brown and Poindexter said in a joint statement.

Poindexter said he was not disappointed that the grand jury rejected eight additional charges of killing dogs.

“I’m just glad to get this to the position where it is now and one day in the not too distant future, we will be rid of these cases,” he said.”

Nice statements however I question why the search warrant wasn’t executed in a timely manner. Both the sheriffs department and Attorney Generals office had a responsibility to the residents of Virgina which they both failed at miserably, and that’s the reason the feds swooped in a took this case from them to begin with.

Lately things aren’t going exactly as planned for Vick, this is quite evident. Not only is he facing both state and federal charges, he’s also being sued by some Canadian bank for more money than what me or you can only dream to make. Oh Boo Hoo…I say sue for more and take it to Judge Judy…she’s the bomb yo!

“Royal Bank of Canada has sued suspended Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick for more than $2.3 million.

The bank argued that his guilty plea to federal dogfighting charges and the resulting impact on his career have prevented him from repaying a loan.Vick borrowed $2.5 million in January with plans to use the money for real estate investments, Royal Bank of Canada said in the lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court in Newport News on Thursday.

The loan’s terms specify that any employment change negatively impacting Vick’s income constitutes a default on the loan, according to the lawsuit.

Last month, Vick pleaded guilty to bankrolling a dogfighting ring at a property he owned in Surry County, near his hometown of Newport News.

“The criminal charges, and resulting impact on the Defendant’s employment … materially affect his ability to repay the Term Note,” the bank said in the lawsuit.

The bank is demanding $2,313,694.37, plus $499 in interest per day, starting Sept. 19, as well as attorney’s fees.

Vick’s attorneys did not immediately return phone messages Tuesday.”

Why in the hell would Vick need to borrow money? He had a contract of what 100 million? God only knows what he made in endorsements, and yet he borrows money. What a dumbass. Real estate investments my ass, he was probably setting up more dogfighting locations, buying lots and lot of herb and paying Marcus to shave his balls. Can someone let me borrow $2,313,694.37? I promise to make monthly installments of fifty dollars until it’s paid off, I’m good for it, trust me. ;)

So I profess on this day 9/26/07.

TtT

Posted in Atlanta Falcons, Liar, Michael Vick, Prison for Vick, Sports, Vick, Vick Plea, bad newz kennels, conVick, court tv, dog fighting, guilty, michael vick pleads guilty, ookie, pitbull | Leave a Comment »