Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for September 9th, 2007

The Revelations After a Saturdays Worth of Football Week 2

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 9, 2007

Here are my revelations from yesterday, as I suffered being a couch slave.

The Big East teams have no defense.

Virginia won Loser Bowl part 1, Notre Dame and Meechigan square off for Loser Bowl part deux next week.

 

 

 

If Marshall had something called depth, West Virginia would have lost.

Neither Georgia or South Carolina looked like they were playing to their full potential, they both looked sloppy.

The Big Eleven Ten sucks. Case in point Michigan, Ohio State should have rolled, Wisconsin was disappointing. Penn State didn’t look great.

I don’t believe Anthony Morelli is has good people seem to think he is.

From the comments Lloyd Carr made yesterday, I think he’s given up.

Mike Hart of Meechigan is stud running back who embodies what college athletics is all about.

It’s a toss up between “Cavemen” and “Carpoolers”, as to which show will be canceled first.

Bob Davie is the worst commentator ever.

LSU = Domination.

Auburn sucks

I don’t see how USC will go undefeated in PAC-10 this year. Sorry Gridiron Goddess.

Tennessee took a step in the right direction.

Freddy Brown of South Carolina took a cheap shot and clipped a Georgia player, there were three personal fouls commented by So. Carolina, like I’ve been preaching, lack of discipline off the field, shows on the field.

Mark Richt looked pissed after the game last night.

Texas didn’t beat TCU, TCU beat themselves, and I’m not sold on Texas’s offense.

Oklahoma continues to shine.

Nebraska was clearly looking ahead to playing USC next week.

Someone show some love to Tyrone Willingham and the Washington Huskies.

I’m not sure if Oregon is scary good, or Michigan is scary bad.

With the exception of Georgia Tech, the ACC sucks and is college footballs worst conference.

Like I said last week America’s team Virginia Tech was overrated (clap clap clapclap ), I just didn’t realize by how much.

If I see another flipping “Olive Garden” commercial, I’ll never eat there again.

Speaking of the “Tragedy Bowl of 2007″ featuring LSU & Virginia Tech, was tragically boring.

I’m willing to bet that West Virginia & Louisville falls in the polls due to no defense.

Teams that still have questions because they are still playing weak cupcakes or pathetic teams in general are:

Florida, West Virginia, Louisville, Rutgers, Alabama, UCLA, Texas A&M, Pittsburgh, Kentucky & Maryland.

Posted in ACC, Alabama Crimson Tide, Auburn, BCS, Big 12, Big East, Coach Rich Rodriguez, College Football, Conference USA, Crimson Tide, Discipline, Duke, ESPN, Ed Orgeron, Florida Gators, Gamecocks, Georgia Bulldogs, Georgia Tech, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Hokies, Kentucky Wildcats, LSU Tigers, Les Miles, Lloyd Carr, Louisville, Michigan Wolverines, NC State Wolfpack, NCAA, Nick Saban, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Ohio State, Oklahoma sooners, Ole Miss, Oregon Ducks, Pac 10, Penn State Nittany Lions, Rocky Top, SEC, SEC Coaches, South Carolina Gamecocks, South Florida Bulls, Tennessee Volunteers, Texas A&M, USC, University of Southern Cal, Virginia Tech, WVU, West Virginia, big 10, big ten, football, notre dame sucks, ole miss rebels, satire, southern miss | No Comments »

South Florida: Hey Auburn Click Clack This Bitch.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 9, 2007

The end is near…thanks Auburn. I wish that letter I posted from the SEC commissioner was real. Then Auburn would no longer be considered a SEC team. The religion known as SEC football is in mourning tonight, because War damn we really suck now Eagle Auburn lost to the Bulls of South Florida, at home in overtime. South Florida is a 2nd tier unranked Big East team. A 2nd tier unranked Big East team? Fuck.

“Jessie Hester caught a 14-yard touchdown pass from Matt Grothe to lift South Florida to a 26-23 overtime win over No. 17 Auburn Saturday night, another impressive upset for the Bulls.

Auburn freshman Wes Byrum made a 39-yard field goal to start overtime and then Grothe took over. He ran three times, including a sneak on fourth-and-1. Then, on the next play he hit Hester behind the defense for the game-winner.

The Tigers (2-0) committed five turnovers, but the Bulls couldn’t turn any of them into points. Grothe made sure they didn’t have to turn to struggling kicker Delbert Alvarado in overtime. He had missed four attempts in the second half.”

First of all the Tigers are 1-1 not 2-0, the writer must have went to school at Ole Miss. South Florida had four missed field goals and still won? Just how bad does this Auburn team suck? I watched the game, it was a lot better than the Tragedy Bowl of 2007 on ESPN, however I thought both teams look extremely sloppy. The bigger story is the fact Auburn was neutered by a Big East team at home. This is the first time in five tries against SEC teams that the Bulls have been able to keep up much less win. I thought Notre Dame and Meechigan was bad, shit I was wrong. I normally pull for Auburn in the Iron Bowl, not anymore, Roll fucking Tide all over Auburn.

So I profess on this day 9/9/07.

tTt

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Auburn, Big East, ESPN, NCAA, Roll Tide, SEC, SEC Coaches, South Florida Bulls, Sports, satire, upsets | 2 Comments »

See the Shirt? That’s What I Think

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 9, 2007

Tennessee 39 Southern Miss 19 ;)

Posted in Conference USA, Fulmer, Go Vols, Phillip Fulmer, Rocky Top, SEC, SEC Coaches, Sports, Tennessee Volunteers, southern miss, vols | No Comments »

Charlie Weis: We Suck Even With Clausen as the QB.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 9, 2007

For the first time ever, both Notre Dame and Michigan are 0 & 2. As next weeks “Loser Bowl 2007″ comes closer, one has to wonder, will anyone even bother watching? Today the “Golden Child” Jimmy “The Emu” Clausen, started his first game, only to lose.

“All the talk was about Notre Dame freshman quarterback Jimmy Clausen. Penn State’s defense and Derrick Williams took the spotlight.

The 14th-ranked Nittany Lions bottled up Clausen in his starting debut, Williams had a 78-yard punt return for a touchdown and Austin Scott ran for two second-half scores in a 31-10 win Saturday night over the Irish.

The much-ballyhooed Clausen finished 17-of-32 passing for 144 yards and an interception. Most of the freshman’s completions were on swing passes or screens as Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis went conservative until midway through the fourth quarter.“

Weis is crazy not to redshirt Clausen and don’t let that score fool you. Seven of the mighty 10 points wasn’t due to the offense.

“Darrin Walls staked the Irish defense to a 7-0 lead, returning an interception 73 yards for a touchdown and quieting a raucous crowd dressed almost entirely in white.”

Even Joe Pa was making excuses for Clausen and Notre Dame offense.

“With a young quarterback, you don’t want him to be comfortable. He’s a talented kid,” Penn State coach Joe Paterno said about Clausen.

A raucous crowd appeared to lead to numerous communication problems for the Irish offense, who were whistled for several offsides and delay-of-game penalties.

“It’s tough for a freshman to be successful with this crowd,” Paterno said. “I thought our crowd was phenomenal.”

Notre Dame’s offensive line, which was battered for nine sacks in the season-opening loss to Georgia Tech, couldn’t contain the Nittany Lions most of the game.”

One thing I did notice about Clausen is he runs prances like his older brother Casey. For two games in a row the Irish offense has yet to score a touchdown. As I said in a previous posting, the problem with the Irish offense is the offensive line. I’m wondering if any Notre Dame officials are regretting the firing of Tyrone Willingham yet. Especially since his Washington Huskies ended Boise State’s 14 game winning streak today.

“No wacky formations. No trick plays. The darlings got dumped.

No. 22 Boise State had its 14-game winning streak, longest in major college football, ended as resurgent Washington shut out the Broncos in the second half of the Huskies’ 24-10 victory Saturday.

Redshirt freshman Jake Locker threw for one score and ran for another while overcoming two turnovers. Washington beat a ranked opponent for the first time since 2003.

“We expected a lot more cleverness. When we got down to it, it was just window dressing,” Washington safety Roy Lewis said.”

OK, the first line is gold, and look at Roy Lewis talking smack…nice. I have a feeling it will get a lot worse for Notre Dame before it gets better. If Meechigan defeats them next week, I’m sure the fans will be praying to Touchdown Jesus Inc. for fat boy Charlie’s head. If Notre Dame wins, then Lloyd Carr should be fired immediately, since this Notre Dame offense is anemic at best.

So I profess on this day 9/9/07.

tTt

Posted in Charlie Weis, College Football, Lloyd Carr, Michigan Wolverines, NCAA, Notre Dame, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Penn State Nittany Lions, Sports, big 10, big ten, jimmy clausen, notre dame sucks, satire, upsets | 2 Comments »

Oregon Says: Appalachian State? Oh We’re A Lot Better See?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 9, 2007

Three weeks ago if someone would have told me the Michigan would lose their first two games of the 2007 season, at home no less, I would have thought they were smoking some sweet stinky weed that was picked up in Gunsville Gainesville, Florida. The chants have gone from “Fire Lloyd Carr to “Kill Lloyd Carr”. It’s that bad in Meechigan. For the second straight week in a row, UM gets their asses handed to them by the score of 39-7. Ouch.

“A week after being upset by Appalachian State, the Wolverines were handed their most-lopsided loss in 39 years as Dennis Dixon and the Ducks cruised 39-7 on Saturday. Dixon accounted for 368 yards and a career-high four touchdowns.

Michigan (0-2) has opened a season with two straight losses at home for the first time since 1959 and has dropped four straight, dating to last season, for the first time in four decades. It’s the first time the Wolverines are 0-2 to start a season since 1998.”

OK, if anyone thought Carr could salvage his job or the season before today, I’m willing to bet their thinking has changed. I have nothing personal against Carr, but it’s obvious it’s time to change coaches. The Maize and Blue have turned into the Malaise and Boo. There was more booing than cheering by the Michigan fans. I’m sure the Lloyd Carr Voo Doo dolls are selling fast. I’m wondering if the Meechigan fans take a page from Ohio State and start rioting. This is the second week in a row that the Michigan faithful are holding sayances, crying out to Bo Schembechler, begging for him to take his wrath out on Lloyd Carr, and for the second straight week I’m going too have to ship emergency Ouija boards to Ann Arbor.

“Unlike the stunning loss to the second-tier Mountaineers, the Wolverines didn’t even keep it close against Oregon. The 32-point setback was Michigan’s worst since losing 50-14 at Ohio State in 1968, the season before Bo Schembechler’s debut in Ann Arbor.

Michigan hasn’t won a game since Schembechler died the day before the Ohio State game last year.”

The Mighty Ducks Oregon turned the upset of Appy State over Michigan from the upset of the ages, to just another badly coached team. This is the first time Michigan has lost four straight games since 1967. The Oregon offense made the Michigan defense look more like a bad high school defense. It was embarrassing.

When told about the developments at Michigan, Jim Tressel sighed and said “Fuck me. It’s bad enough I scheduled two cupcake teams in a row, now Michigan is another cupcake team. Fucking losers”.

An anonymous source states they heard Charlie Weis ask “Think we can change the entire offense by next week? Oh screw it, a pop warner team can beat them”.

So I profess on this day 9/8/07.

tTt

Posted in Appalachian State, Bo Schembechler, College Football, Lloyd Carr, Michigan Wolverines, NCAA, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Ohio State, Oregon Ducks, Pac 10, Sports, big 10, big ten, satire, upsets | 9 Comments »