Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for September 12th, 2007

As Promised the Isiah Thomas Sexual Harassment Trial Gets Dirty Quickly. Sweet! :)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 12, 2007

As I stated earlier in the week, this overlooked NBA controversy promises the get dirty, well I was right. Thank goodness, there hasn’t been any news worthy stories for Court TV, in about 2 weeks now.

“Knick President and coach Isiah Thomas can be a charmer with a crowd, but a former team executive suing him for alleged sexual harassment told jurors yesterday he’s a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

“He was always starting sentences with the word ‘bitch,’ ” statuesque ex-marketing veep Anucha Browne Sanders testified in Manhattan federal court.
“Bitch, I don’t give a f- - - about the sponsors. Bitch, I don’t give a f- - - about ticket sales. That’s your job,” Sanders quoted Thomas as telling her whenever she tried to involve players in promotional events for the failing team.

Sanders managed to maintain her cool in the courtroom, even as the seemingly unfazed Thomas bizarrely laughed while she talked.”

Bitch, that sucks. Bitch, check this out, in my previous article about this case I made a reference about Thomas laughing at her. And yet some thought I made it up. Bitch, you people were wrong. Bitch, let’s keep reading.

“Sanders, a senior vice president for the team from 2000 to 2006, acknowledged that in public, Thomas is “very pleasant and personable. He was the Isiah that we see.”

But behind the scenes, the hotheaded coach, who joined the team in 2003, flew into frequent rages, dropping f-bombs and targeting venom toward her, the team’s only female vice president, she said.

He also allegedly took aim at whites.

Sanders said that when she asked Thomas at one point to hand-sign letters to season-ticket holders, he spat, “I don’t give a f- - - about these white people.”

She said that prompted her to remind the coach that 80 percent of the team’s season-ticket holders are white.”

Oh sweet the race card gets played. Even though it has nothing to do with this case, and has no merit, it still gets played. Even I didn’t see that one coming.

“But she finally cracked when she said Thomas suddenly flipped his approach - professing his love and suggesting they go “off-site.”

Thomas first pulled her aside at a Christmas party in 2004, and the two had joined in a basketball game called “horse,” Sanders said.

That’s when Thomas told her, “I figured out why we have problems. It’s because we’re so much alike. I’m in love with you. It’s like the movie, ‘Love and Basketball,’ ” Sanders said.

“I said, ‘You’re out of your mind,’ ” Sanders said. “I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could. I was just nervous.”

Sometime later, Thomas called Sanders to a meeting in his office, purportedly to discuss staffing issues, closed the door and gave her a “big hug,” she said.

Has anyone seen this bitch? Isiah was seeing Tyra Banks. Why would he pass that up for you? Even if this story is true, why would you cock-block him? I mean, not to be rude, but you’re uglier than sin.

“He said, ‘You know I’m in love with you,’ ” Sanders recalled. “I said, ‘Isiah, we just need to figure out a way to work together. Where else do you have an African-American president of the Garden, an African-American president of the team and an African-American vice president?’

“It is a tremendous message to minorities that this even exists,” a teary-eyed Sanders recalled saying, clearing her throat as she struggled to repeat his response.

“I want to take you off-site for some private time,” she said Thomas told her.

OK, I’m calling bullshit here. You mean to tell me that Isiah Thomas told you he was in love with you, and your response was that? Rrrriiiigggghhhhtttttt. That makes no sense, and if it doesn’t make sense, then it’s probably not true. That’s like if Angelina Jolie hit on me and I said “We can’t do this, we both hate Courtney Cox, and this would devastate all Courtney Cox haters out there”.

So I profess on this day 9/12/07.

tTt

Posted in Anucha Browne Sanders, Isiah Thomas, NBA, New York Knicks, Scams, Sexual-Harassment Case, Sports, court tv, satire, stupid | 2 Comments »

Jeff Long is Hired as Arkansas New AD Vows 2nd Tier Big East Mediocrity For 2nd Tier SEC School.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 12, 2007

The Pittsburgh athletic director, Jeff Long, will be the replacement for the embattled Arkansas AD, Frank Broyles, who will be retiring after this year. Big East 2 tier mediocrity is on it’s way to the SEC West, just days after Auburn lost to South Florida, a once Big East 2 tier school.

“Pittsburgh athletic director Jeff Long will replace Frank Broyles in the same position at Arkansas, a person with knowledge of Long’s decision said Monday.

Arkansas would not confirm Long’s hiring, but spokesman Tysen Kendig said a news conference was set for Tuesday afternoon regarding the athletic program.

Arkansas’ search had been a secretive one until last week, when Stanley Reed, chairman of the school’s board of trustees, confirmed that Long was “a strong candidate.”

Long has been athletic director at Pitt since 2003. His most prominent hire was football coach Dave Wannstedt, who is in his third season at Pitt. The Panthers haven’t been to a bowl game since Wannstedt’s arrival.”

That last line should say it all. One has to wonder if he’ll be bringing Davey along for the ride.

“He appears to have few ties to Arkansas, which could mean quite a transition for an athletic department dominated for decades by Broyles. The Razorbacks joined the Southeastern Conference in 1991, and although they have never won an SEC football title, Arkansas won a national championship in basketball in 1994 and is a national powerhouse in track and field.”

What about Lou Holtz? I’m sure he would have taken the job. The question that’s on everyone’s mind is what will happen to Houston Nutt when Broyles is gone, and is no longer protecting him.

“It is a daunting task,” Long said of replacing Broyles. “But I am excited and here, and I’m excited to get started, and bring 2 tier Big East Mediocrity to the SEC!”

“I always cringe when they read off my resume,” Long said. “I sit there and think, ‘Well, they think I’m really good, or he can’t hold a job. I mean before the Pittsburgh gig I had a “transition period”, with Taco Bell, Burger King & Wendy’s.”

“Coach Broyles said it best when he told me in a phone conversation, he said, ‘Jeff, the job is never finished. But for me it’s finished by the latest 2:00 PM. Suey! Big East mediocrity is here!”

“I had just a short time to meet with him for the first time today,” Arkansas football coach Houston Nutt said. “He seems like a great guy, and I’m looking forward to getting to know him more and a little bit better as time goes on. That way I can learn how to kiss up to him in a way that will be effective. Fuck it let’s face it, I’m screwed, and I just bought this sweet ride.”

So I profess on this day 9/12/07.

tTt

Posted in Arkansas Razorbacks, Big East, College Football, Dave Wannstedt, Houston Nutt, Jeff Long, Pitt Panters, SEC, SEC Coaches, Sports | 4 Comments »

Goodell to the Patriots: You’re a Bunch of Cheaters…and You’ll Pay

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 12, 2007

Well, the truth is coming out about the Patriots and their rise to top. As many of you know, Bill Belichick has been identified as a master spy by the NY Jets, and now Roger “The Sheriff” Goodell, has reviewed the video. His determination is that the Patriots are cheaters and assholes. OK, the asshole part is my opinion, but Roger isn’t happy about this. I bet Notre Dame fans are really questioning Charlie Weis now. :)

“NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has determined that the New England Patriots violated league rules Sunday when they videotaped defensive signals by the New York Jets’ coaches, according to league sources.

Goodell is considering severe sanctions, including the possibility of docking the Patriots “multiple draft picks” because it is the competitive violation in the wake of a stern warning to all teams since he became commissioner, the sources said. The Patriots have been suspected in previous incidents.

The league also was reviewing a possible violation into the number of radio frequencies the Patriots were using during Sunday’s game, sources said. The team did not have a satisfactory explanation when asked about possible irregularities in its communication setup during the game.

Goodell is expected to have a decision no later than Friday but that is not set in stone.”

Somewhere I’m sure the St Louis Rams, Carolina Panthers & the Philadelphia Eagles (minus T.O.) are all wanting the replay they respective Superbowls again. Can you blame them? I can’t. Here’s why, just like no one is exactly sure when the Barry Bonds Juice steroid began, no one is sure when this began. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying take away the Superbowl titles, just put an asterisk by their name in the record books, that would be appropriate.

Now here’s where the fun begins. What punishments will be handed out? Oh sure take away multiple draft picks, I agree with that, but certainly Sheriff Goodell can do much better. Here’s some suggestions.

  1. Tom Brady’s second kid out of wedlock has to be named after Goodell.
  2. They must re-record the Superbowl Shuffle with Yoko Ono.
  3. They must attend a Red Sox game wearing New York Yankees uniforms.
  4. Each player and coach must write “I’ll quit being a cheating douche bag” 1000 times.
  5. Each coach must try and out stare ESPN’s Stu “Lazy Eye of Death” Scott.
  6. The Patriots must not be eligible of playoff contention, no matter what their fucking record is, for 2 years.
  7. Tom Brady must stop wearing that smirk of arrogance immediately.
  8. Bill Belichick must wear a dunce cap every time he is on the sidelines.
  9. Must be extra super nice to Peyton for now on.
  10. Must play the Michigan Wolverines and purposely lose, they really need cheering up.

Yeah that works for me. Of course only one of those is conceivable, but not being eligible for playoff contention for 2 years, isn’t that bad. Unless you’re Randy Moss, oh wait he’s hasn’t been in a playoff game for years now…so it’s not like he’ll be missing anything.

So I profess on this day 9/12/07.

tTt

Posted in Bill Belichick, ESPN, Goodell, Michigan Wolverines, NFL, New England Patriots, New York Jets, Randy Moss, Sports, cheaters, football, spy vs. spy | 3 Comments »