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Anatomy of the Perfect Florida Fan
Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 13, 2007
Well, you see the picture above. Those two are a great example of the perfect Florida fan. But what makes them perfect? Well here’s where it gets a little complicated but I’ll break it down for you. Fan by fan. Let’s start with the red head. Here’s the breakdown:
- Jorts
- The Mullet
- Un-Tan
- Holding cheap beer
- Stupid smile
- Gator Tank Top
- The fact his Gator tank top is tucked into his jorts
- Big belt buckle
OK, now for fan two, the balding one.
- Again Jorts
- Wife beater Gator shirt
- Cheap sunglasses
- Un-tan
- Stupid orange wristband on forearm.
- Holding cheap beer
- Leather strap watch band (arm holding the beer)
These two are the epitome of the Gator fan greatness. At first I thought this photo was from the 70′s, but then I realized the red head is wearing something that looks to be a Lance Armstrong “Live Strong” bracelet. But it’s probably is more like the one below.
So it you’re going to the game this Saturday be on the lookout for these two, and avoid them. Even if you’re a Gator fan, avoid them.
Gator pride!! Go Mullets!!
OMAR said
I’m guessing that photo was taken in Jacksonville during the Florida Georgia weekend.
Consider yourself invited to a Gator game in Gainesville, so you can get a fresh perspective on the Gator fans.
Thomas the Terrible said
Oh I know majority of the Florida fans don’t look like these two…well except the jorts part.
abarclay12 said
Jorts – I’ve never heard this word before, but I love it. I’m totally grossed out by jorts.
Thomas the Terrible said
Jorts were created by the hippies in Berkley.
Chuck Norris said
Chuck Norris says – you are an idiot. Hippies in Berkeley have done a lot of things to fashion but this is not one of them. San Franciscans invented the Levis and would never cut them into shorts, too hard to pan for gold.
Rednecks created jorts – again you are an idiot.
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer – Chuck Norris never cries.
Thomas the Terrible said
“Rednecks created jorts – again you are an idiot.”
Actually that was joke between Aberclay and myself, but thanks for butting in.
“San Franciscans invented the Levis”
The Levis, you mean just Levis? Your syntax is horrid much like the homo-erotic fetish you have Chuck Norris.
The Big Hedge in the Sky « Obi’s Sister said
[...] is such an ugly thing, especially when disrespecting the dead. Well, I guess if you dress like this to attend a football game, you just don’t have any excuse but to [...]
secreport said
at least we look better than this guy:
http://gate21.net/wp-content/gallery/lsu-farks/2006_11_04_ut_lsu_game_0102.jpg