Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

YMSWWC’s Men’s College Basketball Preview-Top 25

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 25, 2007

This list was compiled and written by Joel. Who soon will have his own posting powers for this blog. So I’m removing the “guest blogger” status.

*Disclaimer: Even though I am from Memphis and am a Tennessee fan, I will attempt to be as unbiased as possible. Every team has a question, and none of this will matter until March comes around anyway…

1. North Carolina- Ty Lawson running the point with Tyler Hansbrough in the middle and Will Graves either starting or coming off the bench should have Carolina rolling. I am a little concerned about their defense and I do wonder if they can ever recover from last year’s Elite 8 loss against Georgetown, but I think Coach Williams will lead them just fine. Should make it to the Final Four, especially if they can find a consistent outside shooter.

2. UCLA- Defense wins championships, and the Bruins play it. It’s ugly, plodding, physical, tough, but very effective. Kinda reminds me of the Baltimore Ravens, without the “assassin” in the middle and the arrogant head coach. The Bruins now have low post scoring with Kevin Love, but he’s a freshman. Sometimes that’s good, sometimes that’s bad. I would have them #1 if they had more low post depth.

3. Memphis- Some pre-season rankings have the Tigers #1, and in many years they probably would, but there are 2 reasons I don’t: scoring and coaching (the last one almost got me banned in barbershops back home). The Tigers, for all of their talent, could play more of a fast breaking style than they do, but they don’t. Why??? Point #2, coaching. Calipari can sometimes be his own worst enemy. I like that he emphasizes defense, but let the players run. You have the horses. Plus, I can think of at least 10 coaches who are better at in game coaching, 2 of whom are Howland and Williams (see above). Great recruiter though (see Derrick Rose). Also, if the city of Memphis can keep Operation “Keep the Tigers Out Of the Clubs” going, it will be a total team effort.

4. Kansas- If it wasn’t for Brandon Rush tearing his ACL, they would be lower. They still might slide if he cannot fully recover, but wit returning starters and Mario Chalmers off the bench (or starting), I still like their chances. Can anyone explain Rock Chalk Jayhawk to me???

5. Georgetown- I think the loss of Jeff Green hurts more than they let on, even if the Hoyas are using the Princceton offense. With Roy Hibbert opting to stay for another year, they should be fine. Plus I do like Vernon Macklin to be the new Jeff Green, if there is such a thing. Also, Georgetown must go into the year as the hunted, so let’s see how John Thompson III coaches this team.

6. Louisville- For the most part, this is a young Louisville team. Next year, they should be at the top. For now, #6. Why this high this year??? A solid front court, a young guard combo, and Rick Pitino’s pressing style of play are the reasons. I am a little worried about games that may turn into a shootout. Will they have the horses to keep up??? Where’s my mint julep???

7. Michigan State- This ranking may be a little high too, but I love Drew Neitzel’s game. He’s a shooter and should easily score 20 a night. Tom Izzo is a top coach and incoming freshman Chris Allen should be a stud. Someone else besides Neitzel needs to score. Who will step up??? One of the best student sections too, btw…

8. Tennessee- This is year 1 A.D. (After Dane), so who’s gonna take on the leadership role??? Oh yeah, Chris Lofton is there…never mind. Tyler Smith should contribute immediately, but someone tell Coach Pearl to keep his shirt on. I’ll take the orange blazer before his man boobs. His chest isn’t Rocky Top, it’s Rocky Flop.

9. Indiana- Though I have never been a Kelvin Sampson fan, he has talent and he can coach. D.J. White and freshman Eric Gordon are gonna be a force in the Big 10. Someone take the cell phone away from Sampson, or at least leave the recruiting to his assistants.

10. Gonzaga- This is conditional on Josh Heytvelt keeping the happy mushrooms out of his pocket and on top of his pizza or favorite pasta dish. There needs to be a German Shepherd at his door and a urine cup in his pocket at all times so he can stay away from trouble. Someone tell him this is college basketball and not “Playmakers”.

11-25 (in no particular order)

Washington State, Texas A&M, Marquette, Duke, Oregon, Ohio State, Texas, Kansas State, Arizona, N.C. State, Pitt, Kentucky, Xavier, Arkansas, Miami (OH).

Up & Coming Team: Missouri. Mike Anderson and his up tempo style (a disciple of Nolan Richardson and his 40 Minutes of Hell) should make them at the very least an 8th seeded team in the dance. 4 returning starters in year 2 makes for a dangerous combination.

Overrated: Stanford. A season of promise has turned bad now that Brook Lopez decided to do whatever it was he was doing. Obviously, he wasn’t going to class. Now that Mike Montgomery is back as a “special assistant” to the AD (code words for next head coach), Trent Johnson should be looking over his shoulder.

Pearl’s man boobs. Go Vols!!!!

7 Responses to “YMSWWC’s Men’s College Basketball Preview-Top 25”

  1. So many folks have been using the term “Rocky Flop” to describe our performance against Bama last weekend, but I like the way you used it in reference to Coach Pearl’s physique. Nicely done.

  2. Joel said

    If Pearl breaks out the orange blazer this year, I’ll be happy. But he needs to take it one step further: The whole damn suit be orange. Orange blazer, pants, shirt, and neck tie. Could you see him on the sidelines looking like a bowl of orange herbert??? Can’t forget the orange shoes either. There’s gotta be a pimp in Knoxville that can arrange this…

  3. Now that would be a sight to behold. I’m thinking the shirt should be 70s style with a big ol’ collar. Oh, and if we’re going to go the pimp route, he should get an orange, white, and black fur coat to wear around his shoulders.

  4. “he should get an orange, white, and black fur coat to wear around his shoulders”

    The man sweats enough as it is.

  5. I added the pic of Pearl. ;) Now which is worse a shirtless Bruce or a shirtless Fulmer?

  6. Yes, he sweats, but the fur pimp coat is only for his grand entrance and exit from the court. It’s only for effect. I can stomach shirtless Pearl because he’s a good sport and we need that type of hype. Shirtless Fulmer on the other hand, I think we can all do without.

  7. Layla said

    I think Pearl is a great coach and he’s a big supporter of the college in general.

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