While talking to some of my friends over the weekend, one of whom is an Oregon St. alum, we were busting each other’s chops when one of them reminded our buddy about the time a couple of years ago when a Beaver football player was arrested on DUI and stole a gay ram. After laughing hysterically, I decided to revisit this story. Some of you may or may not have heard about this, but laugh anyway.

OSU defensive tackle Ben Siegert was arrested on March 13, 2005 on DUI charges. Apparently Siegert and two of his buddies were riding around and, fortunately, an officer saw something that prompted a pullover. Siegert registered a blood alcohol level of .14, higher than the .08 legal limit in Oregon. The officer then noticed that in the back of the player’s pickup, there was a ram. Apparently Siegert stole the ram from the school’s Sheep Center. At the time, Oregon State’s Sheep Center was doing a study of gay rams. No, that is not a typo. Out of all of the rams that were there, guess which one that the defensive tackle stole??? According to the (Corvallis) Gazette-Times Siegert said that he had nothing to do with the 200 lb. ram, saying “I don’t know anything about that. I’m from a city. I don’t know anything about sheep.” Eventually, Siegert agreed to a plea deal which included probation and paying some money. Siegert recently signed with the Spokane Shock of the AF2.

A gay ram huh??? How does one figure out that a ram is gay??? Do they put two rams and a sheep in a room and observe which one the ram goes after??? Do they ask the ram if he’s a “Ram Man” or “Sheep Man”??? Why is there a study on the sexual tendency of rams??? Do the St. Louis Rams need to distinguish themselves as “Real Rams”??? Why was Siegert stealing a gay ram and what was he gonna do with it???

Out of all the things that this guy stole, he stole a ram. College football players have stolen things like textbooks (Alabama), laptops (South Carolina), clothes (Florida State), or even marijuana (Miami). He completely embarrasses himself and the university by #1 Driving drunk and only being 20 at the time and #2 Getting caught with a gay ram.

As my friend Greg, an Oregon alum, said, “How do you know when you’re getting close to Corvallis??? When you start to see the sheep backing up to the fence”…