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Vick’s First Letter From Prison.
Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 11, 2007
Dear Moms,
Yo I know this being a hard time for you and all but dis shit ain‘t no walk in the motherfucking park either. I mean there’s no maids, ho’s or butlers. I gots to pee in front of everyone. Marcus and Pops never told me about this shit.
I met some dudes from the something called the Mexican Mafia, they be pissed at me for picking Ron Mexico as my alias. A lot of homies seem cool and shit they even gave me a nickname of Black Paris. Something about another rich bitch in jail except I’m black.Da man be being out to get me fo awhile and now he has.
Fuck dat cracker ass judge not letting me change into a five grand suit making me wear prison jumpsuit. I gots to look fly. And then he all talking about I made false statements to da feds and I wasn’t keeping it real wit him about my smoke habit. I don’t be deserving no 23 months for killing some dogs, some of those dogs deserved it and shit. And then he be saying I’m getting 3 years closely monitored probation afterwards. I guess I’ll make the best of it.
Yo dad be right about one thing yo, you can get some good shit in here. It’s high as fuck though! Thank God I’m still rich. Speaking of money Mom, I can’t be supporting you, Marcus and Pop and be paying protection money to. Think about how much the chronic will be once I’m transfered to the big house in 6 weeks. You just going to have to go back to working in a gas station with pops. Marcus I’m not sure what he be doing now.My cellmate is named Rocco and for 5 g’s a week he said he’ll protect me. When I ask from who he said from himself. He said won’t ass rape me 23 times, one for every month as long as I keep paying and shit. He also said to look up his big brother, Cletus at the fed pin. He said I can’t miss him he’s the leader of some gang called the Aryan Brotherhood. He said they might let me join so don’t be shy about asking. Other than the shakedown and cuddling wit me, he alright.
Moms I gots to go. But please do me one favor, try to sneak some metal hidden under one of your fat rolls, Rocco said he will teach me how to shank. Try to make all the court appearances concerning those law suits that are against me. There’s 3 onces of Mexican gold hash in the “waterbottle” give that to Marcus as a Christmas present.I love you moms, soon I’ll be free and I’m sure Mr. Goodell and Mr. Blank will allow me to play again. I’ll keep in shape with all the weights that here and constant running from the Crips.
PS Slap Marcus for me and tell him you still loves me more.
Gate 21 said
Headlines, Links,
Headlines, Links, & Lies… « Gate 21 said
[...] Michael Vick’s First Letter from Prison — Freakin’ Hilarious, a must read!: YMSWWC: “Vick’s First Letter from Prison” [...]
Derek Brown said
You a a Douche , I hope somebody Kicks your Ass . Have a Good day !
td said
not particularly funny
Thomas the Terrible said
“You a a Douche , I hope somebody Kicks your Ass . Have a Good day !”
Only those who hope instead of act of left behind. And quit stuttering.
“not particularly funny”
Prison rarely is.
VICK TOP FAN said
AS MUCH AS I LOVE VICK HE WAS DEAD WRONG BUT I DNT CARE WAT NOBODY SAY BOUT VICK HE REAL I MEAN WEN I FRIST SEEN HYM PLY I WAS LIKE GOD DAMN HE SO REAL DAT NIGGA FIE AND LOOK HA BAD DA FALCONS DOING WIT OUT VICK DEY NEED HYM I DNT CARE WAT NOBODY SAY I LOVE DIS MEN HE SO REAL
Vick passed like my sister said
This was the funniest thing I have read in months…lmfao! GREAT JOB!
ashle pugh said
vick needs to be hurt a few times were he is think about the poor dogs that never get to have a real family because of him how do you think they feel vick you think they like being beat or fighting other dogs how would you like it if someone tied you up and let people 3 times your size hurt you you would hate it think about alll the dongs you killed and all you got was 23 months you should have life you took life form an dog that was put here to be mans best FRIEND not to be fought or BEAT