Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Houston…Heartache Lives Here

Posted by Joel on December 16, 2007

How does one deal with heartache, when you have been betrayed time and time again??? You pour your heart and soul into something, and the hope, anticipation, and trust is all swept away in one fleeting moment. Reality, pain, heartache, anger, and then ultimately sadness sets in. I am sooooooooo emo right now I just do not know what to do but to to pour my heart into this post, so please forgive me for just a minute or two. Damn I never thought I would write these 4 words…..

The Dolphins won today. Final score, Miami 22-Baltimore 16. The game went into overtime, with Greg Camarillo scoring the winning touchdown on a slant from QB Cleo Lemon. Baltimore had a chance in overtime to win, but kicker Matt freakin Stover missed a field goal wide left.

So now, I sit here a broken man, for a number of reasons, but one of the main reasons is that for the first and definitely last time, I was cheering for the Baltimore Ravens, and in particular their piss ant coach, Brian f’n Billick. He is an overrated head coach who got a coaching gig based on Dennis Green’s play calling in Minnesota and who is the most self-centered, arrogant, lilly livered coach in the NFL. If I ever meet him, I will personally tell him this, although he won’t care because he’s a complete, 100%, pure and unadulterated a**hole. As a Titans fan, I detest the Ravens and their band of merry misfits, complete with crybabies, murderers (allegedly), thugs, Jeff Tedford coached QB’s, a Bammer GM, and just riff raff in general.

But of course, the other reason is that I had jumped on the Dolphins bandwagon. This season was the “Perfect Storm”, with an aging defense, injuries, confusion all around, first year head coach, an owner trying to sell, and loud mouth linebackers. This was the year that the Dolphins could have ran the table, in reverse. They had the opportunity to be the worst team ever. They could have been remembered throughout the pages of sports team crappiness. Most of all, they would have fulfilled my fantasy of having an NFL team to go 0-16.

Damn them. Damn them all. I hate the Dolphins!!! I don’t know how much more heartache I can take. Every once in a while, teams like the Lions, Bucs, Texans, and Browns tempt me. They tempt me like that stripper that sits in your lap, tell you how cute you are, runs their hand in your hair, all in the hopes of getting you to pay for a lapdance. When you do pay her the money, you realize that 2 minutes are gone, you’re out $20, and the only thing that you have gained is the smell of female sweat and Bath & Body Works mixed with your Axe body spray. Well, the Dolphins were that stripper today. I will now name them Dakota, Jasmine, Cinnamon, Alize, or something dumb like that. Today, I have come to the “End of the Road”…….

3 Responses to “Houston…Heartache Lives Here”

  1. I would love to see Miami beat New England. That would be a riot.

  2. abarclay12 said

    The Dolphins won??

  3. TideDruid said

    I’m a little unhappy with the Dolphins winning. I wanted a 14-0 vs a 0-14 next week!

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