Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

Phillip Fulmer, embattled captain of the good ship Volunteer, is currently looking for a new Offensive Coordinator. Former Offensive Coordinator David Cutcliffe decided to commit seppeku by accepting the head coaching gig at Duke. Now I am not about to get into what in the world would possess a man to take a coach killer fine opportunity to coach FOOTBALL at Duke, but rather look at some of the candidates and offer up one or two “off the radar” people.

Trooper Taylor-Currently, he is the Receivers Coach for Tennessee and also Recruiting Coordinator. He is primarily responsible for a vast majority of the 4 and 5 star recruits that Tennessee has gotten over the years (the same recruits that Fulmer doesn’t play until their junior year, but I digress). Honestly, will he run the same ol tired “pro-style” offense that Tennessee fans have grown to know and love, or will he add some wrinkles to the equation??? Also, he has been recently been offered the OC job by new Baylor coach Art Briles, but the problem is (and unfortunately I had to witness by living here in Houston) that Briles pretty much runs the offense, a la Steve Spurrier (or Les Miles). Will he stay with the program that has stuck by him??? Or will the program really even want him???

Greg Adkins-Offensive Line Coach, Tennessee. This guy is the one responsible for Tennessee’s O-Line, the same line that kept Erik Ainge off his back all year. The O-Line has, in my opinion, the best unit on Tennessee’s team the past few years. Like Taylor, what kind of offense would he run??? He has to my knowledge ever called a play on offense, but neither has Taylor, unless you count either one begging for the same ol’ tired reverse with the pass option.

Kippy Brown-Currently, he is Wide Receivers coach for the Detroit Lions, working along side the “evil genius” Mike Martz. This move I would actually like for a few reasons. He is a Tennessee native, has a long coaching record in college and the pro ranks, as a position coach and OC. He has coached Pro Bowlers and college stars, too many to name here, but Carl Pickens at UT, Andre Johnson with the Houston Texans, Roy Williams and Mike Furrey with Detroit, and Mark Clayton at Louisville is just a few of the players he has coached. If I were Fulmer, with all of Brown’s experience, this is where I would go.

Now for a couple of people “outside of the family”:

Gus Malzahn-Ah yes, the guy that had one of the most exciting offenses that I had ever seen in high school, only to be spayed and neutered by Houston Nutt at Arkansas, currently he is the OC at Tulsa. This year, Tulsa had one of the most dynamic offenses in D-1A, ranking in the top 10 in a crap load of offensive categories. This hire would make things click, and Malzahn would bring an exciting brand of football to the Vols.

Mike Locksley-Offensive Coordinator, Illinois. The Fighting Zookers employ a Spread Option that could be adapted to UT. He has experience coaching in the SEC, having been a RB coach under Zook at Florida. While Zook gets all the credit for recruiting, I have had Illini fans tell me that Locksley is the guy that really goes after them. Plus, if he and Ron Zook can get guys on a national basis to come to Illinois with all of their “great facilities”, imagine what Lockley can do.

This is an important decision. If the wrong decision is made, Fulmer will be toast in a few years. If the right choice is made, not only will Tennessee be just fine, but maybe a future head coach will be in the wings whenever Fulmer decides to leave (or get Johnny Majored)…