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Archive for December, 2007

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All Hail Emperor Rodriguez!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 21, 2007


Come on hail. Now damn it hail!! Freaking slackers.

Now that Rich “Dirty Sanchez” Rodriguez has been exiled to Michigan, he has decisively taken over. His order of business was to fire all the Michigan assistant coaches, leaving Coach Carr to coach his last game seemingly by himself. Michigan athletic director Bill Martin declined comment. It is believed he declined to comment out of fear.

Of course the assistants must have known this was coming, or should I say one assistant knew. Apparently University of Michigan assistant football coach Andy Moeller, out of fear, went out to relieve some of the stress that was upon him last Saturday night. The problem is the Po Po pulled him over. Moeller in brazen fashion refused to take a breathalyzer test and was arrested.

“At this point the outcome is still pending and we will monitor the process,” athletic director Bill Martin said in a written statement. Michigan head coach Lloyd Carr did not immediately return a message.”

So now Moeller is officially an unemployed drunk. This is the power of Emperor Rodriguez.

Back in West Virginia, the governor has jumped on the bash Rodriguez bandwagon. Please note I’m the original Rodriguez basher it’s nice to see I’m making a difference. Gov. Joe Manchin is siding with the university and its claims that Rodriguez owes 4 million dollars.

“All I’ve seen is mammoth improvements, tremendous improvements; I don’t know the intricacies of it. I’m speaking as a fan,” Manchin said.

“Manchin said Thursday he doesn’t care who pays.”Whoever, I just want West Virginia to get the $4 million,” the governor said. “If someone is generous enough to pay it, that’s fine.”

That’s smart politicking if you ask me.

So I profess on this day 12/21/07.

TtT

Posted in Big East, Coach Rich Rodriguez, Lloyd Carr, Michigan Wolverines, WVU, West Virginia Mountaineers, big ten football | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Waa?!?!?

Posted by Joel on December 20, 2007

When I saw this story, I almost spit out my Coke, and probably by the time I post this, it’ll be all around the blogosphere and internet. In Chapel Hill, NC (a beautiful college town btw), police have charged Tnika Monta Washington, 29, and Monique Jenice Taylor, 28, with kidnapping and sexual assault, involving three UNC football players. A third man, Michael Troy Lewis, 32, was charged with kidnapping, larceny, robbery with a dangerous weapon, assault on a government official, and resisting arrest.

Apparently, the three unnamed players went out to celebrate one of their birthdays and met the defendants while out. The defendants gave the players a ride home and were then invited up to their apartment. One of the players had too much to drink, so after laying him down, the other two players had “some consenual sexual contact with the women”.

Here’s where things get interesting. The players became uncomfortable and asked the women to stop. Now in the interest of full disclosure, I will now post the mug shots of the two women:

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Maybe the players sobered up. Anyway, a call to 911 was made by one of the players and police arrived on the scene around 3:30 am. They found the two men in boxers and the passed out drunk guy still fully clothed. According to accounts at a bail hearing, the women began punching one of the players in the head. Both players had their hands tied with tape while being “fondled” by one of the women. Lewis held a knife to one of the player’s neck while Washington (the one in red that looks like a female Lil’ Wayne) “serviced” him. Here is Lewis’s mugshot:

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Lewis is accused of taking about $100 out of the player’s wallets, trying to steal about $3,000 worth of computer and entertainment equipment, biting a police officer in the groin and pushing him down some stairs in an effort to avoid arrest. None of the players were physically hurt in this “incident”.
Listen, we all have done some stupid things while intoxicated. Lord knows that I have. Some of us may have either taken or gone home with someone that may not be the prettiest girl at the dance while drunk. This is why you have a designated driver, but not just to ensure a ride home. Someone not under the influence could have stopped these guys from making bad decisions, like who to take home after a night at the club and/or bar. Maybe these ladies looked good in the dark to these guys, maybe they mixed their light and dark liquors, which is a drinking no no. All I know is that these guys are no Josh McNeil…

***On a totally unrelated note, I will be attending this year’s “prestigious” Texas Bowl here in Houston, TX between Houston & TCU (don’t laugh, I actually have free tickets and nothing better to do). If anyone else will be going, drop an email at ymswwc@gmail.com

Posted in ACC, ACC Football, Butch Davis, Crime & Punishment, Dead Drunk, NCAA, North Carolina Tarheels, bad calls, court tv | Leave a Comment »

The Man With The Worst Luck In Sports This Year

Posted by Joel on December 20, 2007

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Look at this guy. Every time I see Arthur Blank, he just looks like a billion bucks. From all accounts, a pretty nice guy. So why have the football gods cursed him so much this year??? Let’s look at some of the things that have happened to him.

-First, he started 2007 by hiring capretbagging coach Bobby Petrino. Nevermind he just led Louisville to the Orange Bowl and told the Cardinal faithful that he would stay at Louisville, only to leave shortly for Atlanta.

-Then, his franchise QB (and the guy he famously wheeled around Texas Stadium) Michael “Ookie aka Ron Mexico aka Valtrex spokesman) Vick lied to his face about dog fighting charges.

-Vick’s VA house is raided by feds and mountains of evidence related to dogfighting is uncovered. Blank realizes that his guy Vick lied to him. This of course is after the NFL Draft, Free Agency, and trading away backup QB Matt Schaub, who could have easily started.

-The Falcon’s season starts, and they stink.

-A day after publicly praising Coach Bobby Petrino on national TV, carpetbagger Petrino leaves for Arkansas (for less money). Plus, “Ookie” goes to jail.

-He tried to get Bill Cowher to come out of semi-retirement, but couldn’t.

-He then was prepared to give Bill Parcells the keys to his Falcon kingdom, only to have Parcells go to Miami.

-I almost forgot, “Ron Mexico” was caught at the airport in Miami with am Aquafina bottle with a false bottom, with the contents inside “smelling like marijuana”.

Wow. what now??? Well, at least the Falcons should get a high round pick in next year’s draft. Plus, they still get an extra 2nd RD pick. But for a guy who Forbes estimates his net worth at $1.3 billion thanks to helping to found Home Depot, his life must really suck right now. Of course, he still is worth $1.3 billion, so maybe I shouldn’t feel so sorry for him…

***On a totally unrelated note, I will be attending this year’s “prestigious” Texas Bowl here in Houston, TX between Houston & TCU (don’t laugh, I actually have free tickets and nothing better to do). If anyone else will be going, drop an email at ymswwc@gmail.com

Posted in Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, Arthur Blank, Atlanta Falcons, NFL, NFL Football, Sports, boo birds, football | 2 Comments »

CBS is Finding a New Way to Screw Over SEC B-Ball Fans Unless Your Team is Kentucky. Reposted

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 20, 2007

I originally posted this on 10/29/07. I received a lot of nasty e-mails from Kentucky basketball fans who are the equivalent to Alabama football fans. Now after an embarrassing four game skid maybe CBS will wake up. Then again watching Kentucky lose is rather entertaining. (Snicker Gardner Webb)

CBS or as I like to call it See BS, is the most watch network on Television. They have such riveting shows such as CSI (insert city name here), The Amazing Race & Survivor. While I detest all these shows it should be noted I detest most non-sports television with the exception of Hell’s Kitchen because Chef Ramsey rocks.

Being the sports programming president must a stressful job I’m sure, why else would they choose to air seven Kentucky games this season, which is at least four more times than any other SEC team and five more times than Tennessee.

If anyone should be upset about this, that someone should be Billy Donovan and his bad back. After all since Kentucky’s last trip to the final four, Florida has been to three final fours and captured back to back national titles as well. LSU has also been to a final four since the last time Kentucky has been there. Only Ashley Judd gives Kentucky more love than CBS and I would like to give something to Ashley Judd….but let’s stick to the topic.

This season, CBS is choosing to send crews to seven Kentucky games, three Florida games, two Tennessee games and one game each for Alabama, Auburn, Arkansas, Georgia, Mississippi State and Vanderbilt.

The Vanderbilt, Georgia and Arkansas appearances, as well as one Florida and one Tennessee appearance, come against – guess who? – uh huh that’s right Kentucky.

If memories earned you TV dates, more people would remember Florida’s national championships than Kentucky’s. If expectations sent the networks scrambling to video your bandwagon, Tennessee is the only SEC team that’s a consensus pre-season top-10 pick. Trouble is, Kentucky has another edge this season, a new UK coach and that means a renewed enthusiasm for Kentucky basketball.

What do you do? Pearl’s already done it.

You take off your shirt and paint your chest. You open your mouth and pour out your heart. You put out a must-see product that’s more than ready for its close-up, and then you call out the network that prefers to live in the past much like the Alabama fans. Pearl should just keep sweating and screaming and coaching his shirt off. If he does his job, CBS will have to add two more Tennessee games.

So go ahead CBS, air more Kentucky games, ESPN will pick up the others like they have in the past. Somewhere down the road, in between the making of the new show CSI Narnia & David Letterman’s top ten list of why CBS Sports sucks, a network official will start to wonder why viewers aren’t watching as much basketball on CBS as they are on ESPN. Maybe then they’ll get a clue.


GO VOLS!!!!!

So I profess on this day 12/20/07.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Arkansas Razorbacks, Auburn, Bruce Pearl, ESPN, Florida Gators, Georgia Bulldogs, Go Vols, Kentucky Wildcats, LSU Tigers, Rocky Top, SEC Basketball, Tennessee Volunteers, UT vols, Uga, Vanderbilt, gardner webb, vandy | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Rich “Dirty Sanchez” Rodriguez says “He Ain’t Paying Shit Back Bitches”

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 19, 2007

Eer fans everywhere I’m truly not trying to piss you off, except for “Bill” since he’s a cocksucker. The “New Nick Saban” of college football is claiming he isn’t paying that 4 million dollar buyout clause and that’s he has his attorneys ready to take it all the way to Judge Judy if need be. Story

No contract is iron clad when Nick Saban is concerned and Rich Rodriguez following in the same suit states he was “fraudulently induced to sign a contract with false promises.” Now what those promises really were is anyone’s guess. Some say a needed upgrade in facilities and higher pay for the assistant coaches, but I say the promises were a longer work visa with the potential of an official “green card” and no more cutting the grass during the off season.

Rich’s friend and big time West Virginia booster, Ken Kendrick, states Rodriguez is in the right and WVU is wrong. With booster like that who needs rival schools as enemies. Kendrick also is the managing general partner for the Arizona Diamondbacks, some shitty little MLB team out west. If it isn’t the Red Sox then it’s crap!

“I will be a witness to any and all proceedings that occur,” said Kendrick. “They baited and switched him. Rich was boxed in by a university and athletic department that was arrogant, mean-spirited and intellectually bankrupt. How can someone like me now commit money to this university?”

Whoa! Hold the phone! I can understand athletic departments being arrogant and mean-spirited; after all I’m arrogant and mean-spirited. So basically most athletic departments want to be like me, but I’ve never heard of an athletic department being intellectually bankrupt. This is sports we’re talking about and not whether the Venona Project clearly proved the guilt of Alger Hiss. (Which it did)


Anyone seen “Bill” around?

Here’s a list of broken promises as proclaimed by Kendrick.

  • Allowing players to keep textbooks for resale, a practice that occurs at some other schools.
  • Waiving a $5 charge for high school coaches to attend Mountaineers games.
  • Having authority over distribution of sideline passes. Kendrick said Rodriguez “negotiated” one for his wife, Rita. (Looks like a white trash stripper)
  • Having authority to allocate funds from the 1100 Club for coaches.
  • A committment to increase pay for his assistant coaches.
  • Additional money to pay graduate assistants.
  • Hiring an additional recruiting assistant.

For god’s sake! Why in the hell would ESPN allow a story to run with the word “commitment” misspelled? Fucking slackers.

Of course West Virginia’s chairman of Board of Governors, Stephen “Fuck Rodriguez” Goodman is telling a little different version of events.

“WVU went to the ends of the earth to keep the coach here — and clearly, some of our major donors assisted the school in that effort,” Goodwin said. “There were some very minor issues that [Rodriguez] raised with the administration — and people were working on them. I think you will agree that the things that are being talked about are pretty minor in comparison to what has been done already.

“But he clearly was looking for an excuse to leave — he looked last year, and again this year.

“But when he went to visit [Michigan], and then came back to campus with demands based on those minor issues — university officials simply told him they would continue to work the issues,” Goodwin said. “He was asked to focus on the student athletes and the upcoming bowl game. There’s a long offseason coming up to work out those sorts of minor issues. Whoever comes in as coach will know that they can count on support from WVU on big issues and small issues.”

All I’m saying is this better make Court TV damn it! Goodwin also had this to say about Kendrick:

“At the end of the day, the university is governed by its board and its president, and the people they appoint to positions of responsibility. Making donations to a public university does not entitle anyone to dictate policy or personnel.”

I’ll say this I’ve given West Virginia hell this year, but damn I like Goodwin hopefully Tennessee can steal him away. I think Rodriguez is in for a battle.

People in West Virginia officially hate Rodriguez, the mayor of his home town has already taken the “Grant Town, population of less than 1,000, as the hometown of Rodriguez” sign down. Ouch….A shop that sells cemetery memorials in Charleston put the words “Coach Rodriguez” on one of the headstones displayed in a shop window.


Fenway Park Baby! No reason to put this pic here other than it was a pain to make

I think the later sums up the feelings of West Virginia fans. Did I mention that Nick Saban’s agent contacted West Virginia? :)

So I profess on this day 12/19/07.

TtT

Posted in Big East, Coach Rich Rodriguez, Michigan Wolverines, WVU, West Virginia Mountaineers, big ten football, boosters, white trash | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

Good God F$U Cheats Academically and They Still Suck.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 19, 2007

Back on September 28 I posted a story about how 23 student athletes at F$U was involved in a cheating scandal. What I didn’t know at the time was that at least 20 of them are football players. Story.

I wonder if any of the recruiters used the line: Come to F$U where you can be a Seminole, play for Bobby Bowden & never have to worry about studying again. How is it that you have so much talent and you still suck? And don’t use the “players are working hard in the classroom” excuse either. It just won’t fly here.

“We don’t know what that number is going to end up being exactly, but we know that’s a rough figure,” assistant athletic director Rob Wilson said Tuesday. “It’s an issue where we’re being extra cautious.”

To bad you wasn’t “extra cautious” in monitoring the two academic assistance employees, one of which was full-time academic adviser Brenda Monk, who worked with F$U student-athletes. Then maybe you would have a prayer against Kentucky. OK, I was kidding, you never really stood a chance.

“If the players fight the suspensions, they’ll risk losing all of their eligibility,” a source with knowledge of the situation said Tuesday morning.”

“[Bowl opponent] Kentucky would be a tough opponent when we are at full strength, so clearly this will make things more difficult,” Bowden said. “Our staff is in the process of determining what adjustments we must make for the game.”

Ooh ooh I can help there. Forfeit.

Here the problem F$U has in a nutshell:

Bad = students blatantly cheating like this.

Worse = an employee of the university and tutor abetting that cheating.

Another question I have is isn’t academic misconduct, grounds for dismissal from the university? Yet again, special treatment for athletes. Just ask the grad students at Virginia who had their undergrad degrees pulled by the University of Virginia when found them violating the honor code and cheating.

Ah…F$U…a tradition in class, excellence & cheating…

So I profess on this day 12/19/07.

TtT

Posted in Bobby Bowden, FSU, Florida State Seminoles, boosters, cheaters | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Fulmer’s Biggest Choice

Posted by Joel on December 19, 2007

Phillip Fulmer, embattled captain of the good ship Volunteer, is currently looking for a new Offensive Coordinator. Former Offensive Coordinator David Cutcliffe decided to commit seppeku by accepting the head coaching gig at Duke. Now I am not about to get into what in the world would possess a man to take a coach killer fine opportunity to coach FOOTBALL at Duke, but rather look at some of the candidates and offer up one or two “off the radar” people.

taylor-105.jpg Trooper Taylor-Currently, he is the Receivers Coach for Tennessee and also Recruiting Coordinator. He is primarily responsible for a vast majority of the 4 and 5 star recruits that Tennessee has gotten over the years (the same recruits that Fulmer doesn’t play until their junior year, but I digress). Honestly, will he run the same ol tired “pro-style” offense that Tennessee fans have grown to know and love, or will he add some wrinkles to the equation??? Also, he has been recently been offered the OC job by new Baylor coach Art Briles, but the problem is (and unfortunately I had to witness by living here in Houston) that Briles pretty much runs the offense, a la Steve Spurrier (or Les Miles). Will he stay with the program that has stuck by him??? Or will the program really even want him???

ftb-bio-adkins-150.jpg Greg Adkins-Offensive Line Coach, Tennessee. This guy is the one responsible for Tennessee’s O-Line, the same line that kept Erik Ainge off his back all year. The O-Line has, in my opinion, the best unit on Tennessee’s team the past few years. Like Taylor, what kind of offense would he run??? He has to my knowledge ever called a play on offense, but neither has Taylor, unless you count either one begging for the same ol’ tired reverse with the pass option.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in All SEC Teams Beware!!, Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, BCS, Baylor Bears, Big 12, Big Orange, Big Twelve Football, College Football, Conference USA, Erik Ainge, Fighting Illini, Florida Gators, Fulmer, Go Vols, Houston Nutt, Illinois Fighting Illini, Louisville, Memphis Tigers, NCAA, NFL, NFL Football, Phillip Fulmer, Rocky Top, Ron Zook, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee, Tennessee Volunteers, UT vols, big 10, big ten, big ten football, football | 1 Comment »

R.I.P. West Virginia Football

Posted by Joel on December 18, 2007

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Ladies and Gentlemen,We are here to celebrate and say goodbye to Mountaineer football. Why are we saying goodbye, here, at this burial site??? Because with the sudden departure of the good Brother Rich “Dirty Sanchez” Rodriguez to coach a real football program clad in blue and gold, Michigan, West Virginia football has died a quick death.

The sad thing is that apparently this death could have been avoided. All Rodriguez wanted was a little bit more money, not for him, but for his assistants, a few I’m sure much needed upgrades to facilities, and just some general fellatio from the athletic department. Apparently he was promised these things for a while, and they didn’t happen, so when Michigan called, he left. I’m sure John Beilein, Michigan’s basketball coach who paid WVU $1.5 million to go to Michigan, had some influence to Rodriguez.

Now boosters are threatening to pull money. Former Fidelity COO and Mountaineer alum Bob Reynolds said “I’ve had calls from at least six major contributors to the program, and they’re all done [donating] because they know the Mickey Mouse things that have gone on there,” Mr. Reynolds continued. “I’ve been in business 36 years, and it’s the worst business decision I’ve ever seen. I’ve been the COO of a 45,000-person company. When somebody’s producing, you ask, ‘What can I do for you to make your life better?’ Not ‘What can I do to make your life more miserable?’ They have no idea how big this is. It’s frightening.” Uh oh…

Someone asked why West Virginia football has underachieved for years. Thomas came up with 17 reasons, but let me come up with a few. The peak of the program was them beating Georgia in the Sugar Bowl a few years ago (Thanks, Georgia). This gave Mountaineer faithful a false sense of who they really were. They forgot that even though that was a big win, their trophy case was filled with bowl wins such as the Continental Tire Bowl and the Sun Bowl, but no National Titles to speak of. If ESPN gave out a “Thursday Night Football” Championship trophy, they would have that too. The fact is that Mountaineer football has been mediocre for YEARS!!!!!!!

Some ‘Eer said that “We will be back”. While everyone says that, the elite programs eventually will be. Herein lies the problem: West Virginia is not, has not been, and never will be, an elite football program. The school has to recruit on a national level, because the state may have 5 top prospects a year playing high school football. So you have to go outside of that, assuming that those prospects don’t want to leave. Pitt has sucked too but at least they can say that they beat you guys at home. As soon as Penn State gets it together, they will lock up recruiting in that area. So West Virginia is screwed.

It is time to be buried. You Mountaineers have had a good run the past 6 years. The only thing that would have been great is a title, but instead you have the title of “The Most Wins of Any Program With No National Titles”. This is like the 6th place ribbon they give to a kid in a “Hokey Pokey” contest for being able to stay on their feet. You’re done, over and buried. Your best players are probably gonna leave (either NFL or transfer), your coach and key members of the staff are now in Ann Arbor, your athletic director is a graduate of the Ken Lay School of Management, and John Denver sucks. Look on the bright side, at least the couches will be safe in Morgantown…

p.s. Hey Michigan, you might wanna hide the cheerleaders from Rodriguez…

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Posted in Coach Rich Rodriguez, Michigan, Michigan Wolverines, NCAA, Sports, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, big 10, big ten, big ten football, whiners | 45 Comments »

Michigan Hires Rich Rodriguez! Country Roads Lead to Ann Arbor.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 17, 2007


and they heard his cries, but only after they tried hiring 2 other people.

A funny thing happened while I was sleeping during the Pittsburgh-Jacksonville game Michigan hired a new coach. Rich Rodriguez who was the third choice for the Wolverines will be from here on out known as the Big Eleven Ten’s Nick Saban.

Just hours after losing to Pitt and having any and all national championship dreams crushed, then West Virginia head coach said “The impact of your name being thrown about is sometimes a little overrated. It probably makes for a lot of angst among families and we don’t want that, sorry but you all are stuck with me here.” Now two weeks later, Rodriguez is the new coach for the University of Michigan and he is packing up his wife that looks like an ex stripper and hitting the trail.

“I am thrilled to have Rich Rodriguez as Michigan’s new coach,” athletic director Bill Martin wrote in an e-mail to The Associated Press on Sunday. “Rich brings an exciting brand of football to Michigan Stadium. We welcome the entire Rodriguez family to Ann Arbor.”

Rodriguez gathered his players together around 1:30 PM Sunday to tell them that he is leaving to coach in a better conference and that he would have left last year except he wasn’t man enough to take an SEC job that required the wearing of the hounds tooth crown of thorns. This took less than ten minutes.

“The players are upset because he said he’s going to leave before the bowl game,” James Dykes, the father of West Virginia defensive tackle Keilen Dykes. “At least coach them in the bowl game. James just called to tell us and I know he is very upset about this.”

Mr. Dykes I don’t blame Rodriguez for leaving before the bowl game. Who wants to go into a high pressure job like Michigan after having the shit beat out of you by Oklahoma? It would be madness to stay.

Assistant head coach Bill Stewart and assistant head coach Calvin Magee ran West Virginia’s one-hour practice on Sunday. Rodriguez was not present. “We tried to be excited,” defensive end Keilen Dykes said. “We’re all hurting right now, but we can’t cry.”

When Nick Saban left Miami after declaring his love for the organization and that he wasn’t going to be Alabama’s’ new coach, I don’t recall any of the Dolphins players “being hurt” so buck up and act like a man about it.

Theoretically this is a good move for Rodriguez. Instead of being in an incredibility weak conference like the Big East he’s simply moving to just the semi-incredibility weak conference that is the Big Eleven Ten. He even gets to keep the same wardrobe. After all both schools use the same colors, sure Michigan calls their piss yellow “maize” but that doesn’t change the fact it’s piss yellow.

Whether this is a good hire for Michigan is hard to say. They were getting desperate. During Michigan’s search, LSU’s Les Miles and Rutgers’ Greg Schiano both said they were staying put at their schools. It should be noted that it’s rumored that former Ohio State QB and ESPN tool Curt Herbstreet might have sabotaged any chances Michigan had at getting Miles.

One thing is for sure and that is Rodriguez better beat Ohio State within his first three seasons or he’s done at Michigan.

So I profess on this day 12/17/07.

TtT

Posted in Big East, Coach Rich Rodriguez, Michigan Wolverines, WVU, West Virginia Mountaineers, big ten football | Tagged: , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Houston…Heartache Lives Here

Posted by Joel on December 16, 2007

How does one deal with heartache, when you have been betrayed time and time again??? You pour your heart and soul into something, and the hope, anticipation, and trust is all swept away in one fleeting moment. Reality, pain, heartache, anger, and then ultimately sadness sets in. I am sooooooooo emo right now I just do not know what to do but to to pour my heart into this post, so please forgive me for just a minute or two. Damn I never thought I would write these 4 words…..

The Dolphins won today. Final score, Miami 22-Baltimore 16. The game went into overtime, with Greg Camarillo scoring the winning touchdown on a slant from QB Cleo Lemon. Baltimore had a chance in overtime to win, but kicker Matt freakin Stover missed a field goal wide left.

So now, I sit here a broken man, for a number of reasons, but one of the main reasons is that for the first and definitely last time, I was cheering for the Baltimore Ravens, and in particular their piss ant coach, Brian f’n Billick. He is an overrated head coach who got a coaching gig based on Dennis Green’s play calling in Minnesota and who is the most self-centered, arrogant, lilly livered coach in the NFL. If I ever meet him, I will personally tell him this, although he won’t care because he’s a complete, 100%, pure and unadulterated a**hole. As a Titans fan, I detest the Ravens and their band of merry misfits, complete with crybabies, murderers (allegedly), thugs, Jeff Tedford coached QB’s, a Bammer GM, and just riff raff in general.

But of course, the other reason is that I had jumped on the Dolphins bandwagon. This season was the “Perfect Storm”, with an aging defense, injuries, confusion all around, first year head coach, an owner trying to sell, and loud mouth linebackers. This was the year that the Dolphins could have ran the table, in reverse. They had the opportunity to be the worst team ever. They could have been remembered throughout the pages of sports team crappiness. Most of all, they would have fulfilled my fantasy of having an NFL team to go 0-16.

Damn them. Damn them all. I hate the Dolphins!!! I don’t know how much more heartache I can take. Every once in a while, teams like the Lions, Bucs, Texans, and Browns tempt me. They tempt me like that stripper that sits in your lap, tell you how cute you are, runs their hand in your hair, all in the hopes of getting you to pay for a lapdance. When you do pay her the money, you realize that 2 minutes are gone, you’re out $20, and the only thing that you have gained is the smell of female sweat and Bath & Body Works mixed with your Axe body spray. Well, the Dolphins were that stripper today. I will now name them Dakota, Jasmine, Cinnamon, Alize, or something dumb like that. Today, I have come to the “End of the Road”…….

Posted in NFL, NFL Football, Sports, football, miami dolphins | 3 Comments »

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