Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for January 3rd, 2008

I LOVE Ken Kendrick

Posted by Joel on January 3, 2008

So America has been on the “Mountaineer Lovefest” the past 24 hours. We all know that West Virginia defied the odds by defeating “mighty” Oklahoma at the Tostito’s Fiesta Bowl. Bill Stewart is no longer the “interim” head coach of West Virginia. He is now THE head coach of West Virginia, and everyone is happy…

Well, make that ALMOST everyone is happy. Ken Kendrick, wealthy alum/booster of WVU, has criticized the move. Here’s the direct quote: “He is so overmatched it’s not even funny,” said Kendrick, managing partner of Major League Baseball’s Arizona Diamondbacks. “He’s a nice guy and a father figure. But they had a wonderful architect and they hired the painter to build the next house. I want Bill Stewart to win and I want our program to be successful. But I feel bad for our future. I’m very concerned.”

From wonderful architect to painter??? SMACK!!! That had to hurt. This guy talks more trash than an NBA player. I got two angles that I wanna come from on this one. On one hand, Stewart just took a team in chaos and led them to order on a very big stage. Head coaches can delegate and these days, they have to. Position coaches and coordinators are much more vital now than ever. Head coaches, especially in college, have to be organized, motivate the troops, and show an ability to lead the team. Ask any Longhorn fan how much actual coaching Mack Brown does. He is a CEO type coach. He recruits, manages, and motivates. He deals with the media and shakes boosters hands and kisses their kids and grandkids. That is not to say that he doesn’t help in the game prep, but he manages more than anything else.

On the other hand, Kendrick is right. Stewart is walking into a potential disaster. Expectations have never been higher for West Virginia football. Owen Schmitt, Darius Reynaud, Johnny Dingle, and other key members on both sides of the ball will be leaving, along with potentially Steve Slaton. While I do think that Noel Devine is actually an upgrade, you’re losing a lot, and even more when Pat White leaves next year. Calvin Magee, offensive coordinator, is headed for Ann Arbor. Not to mention the fact that, let’s be honest, recruits that were going to West Virginia will probably go to Michigan instead.

I look at the situation like this: Imagine you’re a bachelor. Let’s face it, you’re no Brad Pitt, but you’re no Seal either. You are a decent looking guy, have a decent job and car. Now imagine that you have been dating Keira Knightley, Scarlett Johansson, and Megan Fox, all at the same time. Now you haven’t even gotten to first base with any of them, but there is a mutual attraction. The sexual tension is mounting. Out of nowhere, you end up in the bed with Amy Winehouse. After sleeping with Amy, you now have the lyrics to “Rehab” in your head and you ask her, while you are still in your post coital bliss, to marry you…and she says yes.

This decision will affect West Virginia one way or the other. Kendrick is the one Mountaineer that I agree with on the coaching search. I like Bill Stewart. He’s funny, charismatic, and charming. But, like Amy Winehouse, his follow up be good, or he’ll be mired as just another “One Hit Wonder”…

keira-knightley-03.jpg news2_clip_image001_0000.jpg

nerble2020megan20fox20mny7.jpg amy-winehouse-overdose.jpg

Posted in BCS, Big East, Canada Football, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers | Leave a Comment »

Whatever Drugs Isiah Thomas is Doing, I Want Some To!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 3, 2008

Before I start berating and belittling the worst NBA coach ever, I want to make it clear that in no way do I use drugs or support those that do. Title is simply sarcasm in its purest form. Now let the humiliation of Isaiah Thomas begin.

It has been a rather rough year for Isaiah Thomas. He’s dealt with that minor sexual harassment lawsuit and this season the Knicks are well, how should I put it? Awful, simply awful. So it amazes me that 90 minutes before his Knicks lost their fifth game in row, losing a 10-point decision to the Sacramento Kings (who were without Ron Artest, Kevin Martin and Mike Bibby) in a game that was never even close from the second quarter on, Thomas actually uttered the following statement:

“I believe one day we will win a championship here, and I believe a couple of these guys will be a part of that, and I believe I will be a part of that,” Thomas said. “And as I sit here today, and people can laugh even more at me, but I’m hell-bent on getting this accomplished and making sure we get it done, and I’m not leaving until we get it done.”

Asked before the Kings loss whether he felt he had the support of ownership, Thomas answered: “As long as I’m sitting on that bench and as long as I’m in my office working, that’s what I’m committed to doing and that’s what I’m worried about doing. And until someone turns the lights out, that’s where I am.”

Surely Thomas must be on some heavy mind altering substance not to realize that the very team he coaches have hit rock bottom. Of course this isn’t all the doing of Thomas alone. There’s the dimwitted owner Dolan, who I seriously believe would tell the world he’s hired the right guy after Thomas has killed his family, shot his dog and stabbed him in the heart.

“I want to leave a legacy, I want to leave a tradition; I want to leave an imprint, a blueprint in terms of how people play and how they respond when they put on a Knicks uniform. I want to leave what I left in Detroit — every person that walks through that door, when they put on a Pistons uniform, there’s a certain pride they carry. I want to put that here and I want to leave that here in New York. I want to leave a championship legacy. This is a dark time for us, but I know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and I’m going to keep pushing and I’m not going to quit. And I’m going to do it here.”

Isaiah you have already left a legacy, a legacy of being the worst NBA coach ever. And the fact you’re still employed cements the fact your coaching skills are traditionally poor in every sense of the word.

Do you want to know how people would feel if they had to wear a Knicks uniform right now? Embarrassment, shame, self loathing, self hatred and bloated. I agree there’s a light at the end of the tunnel but either you’ve been so blinded by it or you’re too stupid to see that the light is a train.

Isaiah is grabbing at every last straw he can get his hands on right now. Honestly, do you think there is a team in the league right now that wants to trust their team with him running the show? He left a mess with the Raptors, ran the CBA into the ground (how do you ruin an entire league???) was a mediocre coach with the Pacers and now has the Knicks in such a terrible spot they likely won’t get out of it any time soon until they cut ties with him and let their roster of bad contracts expire.

I would not even higher him to sell cotton candy. He’d say, “Hey, KID, I’ll trade you 2 bags of cotton candy and a future first round pick for that sign that says “I’m an idiot.”

This I proclaim on 1/3/08.


Posted in Isiah Thomas, James Dolan, NBA, New York Knicks | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Bill Stewart: New Mountaineer Coach

Posted by Joel on January 3, 2008

Wow. I don’t think that the most crazed Mountaineer fan would have expected to blow out Oklahoma. Of course, Oklahoma hasn’t shown jack the past few big bowl games, which is puzzling considering all of the talent that they have (more on this later). This post will be quick, but I would like to start by congratulating the West By God Virginia Mountaineers on a very impressive performance.

As for the new head coach, multiple sources state that interim coach Bill Stewart will be named head coach. I like Bill Stewart and his fun going self. However, his one head coaching stop was at Virginia Military Institute, where he went 8-25 from 1994-1996. I know the Mountaineers had a storybook ending, but I keep thinking Bobby Williams of Michigan State. Bobby Williams was the RB coach for Michigan State when Nick Saban was the head coach. When Saban left for LSU, Williams was given the interim tag for the Citrus Bowl game. After an extensive search, Michigan State upset Florida in the Citrus Bowl, the players carried Coach Williams off the field, and the school listened to the players and named him head coach. After two and a half seasons, Williams was fired.

I really hope this doesn’t go that route, because from seeing some of the Fiesta Bowl press conferences and watching the post game interview, I really like Stewart. I just have this funny feeling that West Virginia is making an emotionally charged decision without thorough investigation, and I have seen what can happen…


Posted in BCS, Bob Stoops, Michigan State Spartons, NCAA, Nick Saban, Oklahoma sooners, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers | 2 Comments »