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Archive for January 13th, 2008

Joakim Noah isn’t the Peoples Princess of Chicago Anymore.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 13, 2008

People expected great things out of Joakim Noah, especially the Chicago Bulls who made him a first round pick. Joakim and his flowing ponytail have burst on the Chicago scene but things aren’t going as planned for him. Joakim Noah was benched for Sunday’s 105-84 loss to the Atlanta Hawks — by his teammates after a unanimous vote. Ouch.

Apparently Joakim was involved with an “altercation” with assistant coach Ron Adams during practice before Friday’s game in Philly.

“We have a chance to salvage this season and we just need everybody on the page,” said Bulls veteran guard Adrian Griffin. It’s one of those things that I believe is going to bring us closer. Everyone on this team knows what Joakim can do and we just look forward to getting him back on the court. In the meantime we’ll take this opportunity to beat his ass in the locker room”

Notice how Griffin believes they can salvage the season. That’s something that a certain team in New York doesn’t believe nor should they. Noah who is averaging a blistering 4.2 points & 3.1 rebounds in 12.3 minutes this season must be in idiot if he thinks that he’s the new flavor in Chicago.

“They just told me what I did was unacceptable and I’m just going to move on from here,” Noah said before the game. “I’ve just got to accept it. What do you want me to say? I’ve just got to move on. There’s nothing I can do about it. Even though they really hurt my feelings something awful.”

When asked if he believes the two-game suspension is too severe, Noah said “Ask the players who made the decision. I don’t know. … Do I agree with it? It doesn’t make a difference. I respect my teammates because if I didn’t they’ll lock me in a trunk and Fed-ex me to the next road city, AGAIN”

Boylan called Noah “a great kid, for a fag” but noted he’s been involved in “a couple of situations where he’s been late or not doing what the Chicago Bulls do like sleeping with men. So the cumulative aspect of this is definitely part of the reasoning for the players doing what they did. Plus they think he’s a big pussy and I agree he is.”

Atlanta rookie Al Horford, who played with Noah at Florida, called the ninth pick in the draft “very emotional like a girl” and “very competitive.”

“I just feel it’s a learning experience for everyone in general,” Horford said. “If you cross a line in something like that, there are consequences to it. … He wants to win really badly. I think people will figure him out as time goes on. I mean sooner of later he needs to come out of the closet. Am I right?”

This I proclaim on 1/14/08.


Posted in Chicago Bulls, Discipline, Joakim Noah, NBA, dumbass | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

Marion Jones=Cheater

Posted by Joel on January 13, 2008


(pic courtesy of Edd Aragon’s blog)

Dear Marion Jones,

This letter is from a fan and blogger, just like I am sure other people are sending you letters and typing up editorials about your confirmed steroid use. You know, screw it, I am a former fan, scratch off the fan thing from earlier.

In the Holy Bible, Romans teaches us “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God”. The thing about you in particular is that you are a public figure. You had it all, and the following words were commonly attributed to you: beauty, grace, speed, and power. I have been a fan of Track & Field for a long time, and I remember seeing you on ESPN2 back in the 90′s. I won’t forget how you went to the University of North Carolina to run track and play basketball. I can remember watching you at a track meet in Raleigh in 1999 absolutely destroy the competition in the long jump and the 100 meters. You were running faster 100 meter times than a lot of athletes, male or female. You didn’t need to cheat, and your sins are magnified because you are a public figure…

You did steroids and HGH. Why??? You were already great. Was it the company that you surrounded yourself with??? Your first husband, C.J. Hunter, was a cheat. You left him, after he hooked you up with BALCO, and then you laid up with Tim Montgomery, a bigger cheat than Hunter because not only was he shooting up steroids from BALCO, but also he was laundering money. Is there no honor among thieves???

As soon as the feds got involved, you lied, which is probably the dumbest thing that you can do. Barry Bonds is about to find this out. Lets face it, the government took down Al Capone and Willie Nelson. They have toppled “hostile” regimes in other countries and ran roughshod over whole armies. Did you honestly think that our U.S. government would not catch YOU??? Why, because you were one of these “American Sweethearts” like Mary Lou Retton or Kerri Strug???

So now, you have been sentenced to 6 months in jail for your indiscretions. You must report no later than March 11. You begged the judge to be lenient and only get off with probation. He gave you 6 months PLUS probation and community service. If I were the judge, you would have received a lot more than that. You are no worse than Bonds, Canseco, Clemens, your ex hubby or ex lover. You are a cheater just like the rest of them. You had it all, and now you are bankrupt, both financially and morally. You were getting $1 million appearance fees, and now you are scheduled for an appearance in cell block E, with the fee being your own stupidity. I am taught to forgive, but I, just like a lot of your biggest fans, can and will not forget. I do feel sympathy for your kids, as one day you will have to face them and explain why you cheated and lied about it. I just hope that they, just like millions around the world, can learn from your mistakes and not repeat them.

Until then, report to jail early, do your time, get out, and “Go out gently into that good night,” because I don’t want to see or hear anything from you for a long time…

Posted in cheaters, steroids | Tagged: , | 5 Comments »