Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for January 15th, 2008

Project “Find An Offense Coordinator Like the Bear Had” Could Begin Soon

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 15, 2008

In move I find shocking and utterly hilarious, Alabama offensive coordinator Major Applewhite seems to be ever so close to telling Saban to screw you jakehole I’m going home. Several published reports in Texas on Monday night said Applewhite is a prime candidate to join Mack Brown’s staff at the University of Texas.

The only vacancy on the Longhorns staff is for running backs coach. But the job could be sweetened by adding a title such as assistant head coach. Of Bama has no comment on the situation. (As always)

The newspapers cited anonymous sources within the Texas program. If Applewhite takes the job it would be his fourth in as many years. Jesus, dude learn to hold a job for more than a year.

It figures Applewhite would want to go back too the Big “We really really suck but not as bad as the Big 10” Twelve. I mean imagine the pressure he must have gone through working with Saban to get a stellar 7-6 team. Plus Texas doesn’t play Oh La La either.

Alabama already has a vacancy after special teams coordinator/tight ends coach Ron Middleton left to become associate head coach at Duke. I find that sad. I mean why leave an SEC school like Bama to take an associate head coaching job at graveyard Duke. If he stayed at Bama he might have been the head coach there within three years. God knows they seem to go though them.

Applewhite was hired by Saban last January after Jimbo Fisher said hell no I’m not working for Saban. Applewhite has also been a key recruiter for the Tide even though if he takes the Texas job those recruits will likely follow.

Applewhite is the fourth-highest paid coach of Saban’s nine-man, on-field staff. Applewhite makes $250,000 annually and is one of only three coaches on the staff with a three-year contract but all the money in the world might not make stay another year with Saban.

This I proclaim on 1/15/08.



Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Bear is Dead, Big Twelve Football, Nick Saban, Texas Longhorns | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Weekly WVU Update

Posted by Joel on January 15, 2008


The latest in the Mountaineer-Rodriguez pissing match: Documents on football players, including notes on scholarship money awarded, community service activities, contact info, class attendance, and also information on boosters has magically “disappeared”. It appears as though some magic fairy may or may not have swooped into the former football coach’s private office and taken them. Maybe some magic fairy that is the dean of the spread offense and currently resides in Ann Arbor???

Ah yes, Coach Paid Rod. According to sources in the WVU athletic department, Rodriguez was in his private office on December 18th along with video coordinator Dusty Rutledge shredding paperwork. No one really paid much attention to it, because everyone thought he was destroying files on his adulterous ways (allegedly). Alas, now all of the player files are missing.

As of right now, the athletic department is not really making any statements except to say that they are focused on getting staffing together for its football team, since Coach Paid Rod took most of the coaches with him. BUT, the school’s very busy legal counsel (with the $4 million lawsuit against Rodriguez) has taken an interest, presumably because FERPA laws may have been violated. If Rodriguez did in fact do what is alleged and destroyed players’ records, he deserves whatever comes to him.

However, where was the school’s athletic department and records office??? Any information that the former coach had on players, the athletic department and/or records office should have had copies. This is sensitive information, and though I am not a lawyer, a conversation I had with an attorney at a university has stated that the school is just as liable because they allowed one man, presumably, to keep student records, and not have a backup copy. According to my lawyer buddy (who we will call Jim, he asked not to be named personally), at their college, the records office has not only electronic copies, both on hard drives and backed up flash drives (they used to use tapes), but also paper copies. Their records office is one of the biggest departments on their campus in terms of the amount of staff, and a representative of the school’s legal department actually has a lawyer with an office in the department. Also, the athletics department is routinely audited by accountants and another lawyer. But to be fair, the school that my buddy “Jim” is a counselor for is a lot bigger of a school than West Virginia and has a lot more resources, but at the very least, there was no oversight…

Speaking of the school’s fine record keeping, yesterday, WVU’s Faculty Senate recommended that a three member panel also include those with no ties to either the school or any government organization, so that a proper investigation can be conducted in the wake of MBA-Gate. The university has had some controversy because Heather Bresch, WVU alum (allegedly), daughter of WV Gov. Joe Manchin, and COO of Mylan, Inc., may or may not have received her MBA honestly. The school has blamed the lack of records on a transition from paper to digital media, but magically, no other students have come forward and said that they have had the same problem with record keeping. I find that very interesting…….

Posted in BCS, Big East, Coach Rich Rodriguez, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers | 2 Comments »

The 2004 Auburn “Peoples” National Championship Ring is Now on E-Bay.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 15, 2008

In 2004 the University of Auburn was clearly screwed out of a shot for the national championship. Jason Campbell who is now the starting quarterback for the Washington Redskins was the quarterback. Well, now that Jason has moved on to bigger and better things, that special season just isn’t that special anymore. He’s selling his “Peoples” National Championship ring on E-bay, that or Tommy Tuberville is hard up for money.

This sell apparently isn’t the same as the disgruntled C.J. Leak sell of his SEC Champions ring sell. This seller claims this is the only white gold version of the ring and the cubic zirconias look like diamonds. Aren’t cubic zirconias supposed to look like diamonds anyway? Wait, you mean this cheap ring doesn’t have real diamonds? Good Lord Man, it’s only 10 karats at that.

It bears the number 17 and bears the name of Jason Campbell. So if you know any Jason Campbells make them adore the number 17 and purchase this piece of crap truly unique piece of Auburn history for them.

The ring has a 100% money back guarantee and come with a certificate of authenticity and appraisal from a major championship ring dealer. (Like there’s such a thing)

This I proclaim on 1/15/08.




Posted in Auburn, SEC, SEC Football, Tommy Tuberville, Washington Redskins | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »