Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for January 22nd, 2008

Dwight Howard: Millionaire, NBA All-Star, Christian, Baby Daddy

Posted by Joel on January 22, 2008

Dwight Howard, center for the Orlando Magic, is a devout Christian. I remember when he came out of high school ESPN ran a story about how he wanted to come in and change the culture of the NBA, 1 soul at a time. Then I heard that he recently had a son out of wedlock with a former Orlando Magic dancer. I thought of one word: hyprocrit…

Then I saw pics of Royce Reed, the dancer that is his son’s mother:

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I started to remember that “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God”, and that “Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone…

So another word now immediately comes to mind: lucky…

Well he knows how to “get it in the hole”…

Posted in DAvid Stern, God, Magic, NBA, basketball, cat killer, draft pick | 16 Comments »

Cedrick Wilson Likes His Women Crazy

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 22, 2008

Ok maybe not this crazy…then again…..

Pittsburgh Steelers and former University of Tennessee wide receiver Cedrick Wilson like his women on the crazy side. No, not the schizophrenic Herschel Walker type of crazy but another like of crazy all together. Cedrick likes his women in the 12 stand off with the Po Po crazy. Story.

Apparently sometime Saturday morning Wilson and his girlfriend, Lindsey Paulat got in to a lovers quarrel. Around noon Wilson left the whole situation and her mother decided to talk to her hoping (I’m sure) to make things better. That’s when things got a little crazy.

While there with her mommy, Paulat took one of Wilson’s handguns and shot two holes in Wilson’s walls. The mother realizing what a psychotic bitch she raised decided it was time to leave and promptly called the Po Po.

What could have Wilson done to make his girlfriend act in such a manner? The Po Po arrive and after making contact with her and seeing just how crazy she is, they thought it would be best to evacuate some 70 neighbors. Damn!! She must have found Wilson’s “University of South Carolina” model handgun & his “University of Florida” model AK-47 for them to take that type of measure.

While no details as what (if anything) Wilson might have done to make his girlfriend act so irrational, has been released, I have my own theories about that.

Theory #1

Wilson was truthful to her. See the below example.

G/F Does this make me look fat?

C/W No honey, it makes you look fatter than normal.

Theory #2

Wilson comes to terms with the progress of the relationship. See the below example.

G/F When are we getting married.

C/W A half past never.

G/F Motherfucker! You TOLD me we were getting married after the season! I’ll cut your balls off.

C/W Shit got to run; I’m calling your mom for protection.

So let this be a lesson to all males out there. It’s ok to tell them white lies. It’s ok to ask for help when dealing with crazy females. And NEVER, NEVER piss off your girlfriend with a loaded firearm in immediate vicinity. However when and if she’s released I bet the make sex will be great.

Nothing like jealous women you’ve got to love them….well until they take your gun and shoot up your house. Even then he got off lighter than Andre Rison did.

Posted in Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Pittsburgh Steelers, SEC Speed, Tennessee Volunteers, court tv, crazy | Tagged: , , , , , , | 4 Comments »