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Archive for January, 2008

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The Wheels on the South Carolina Gamecocks Moped Go Round & Round

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 28, 2008

Before I begin this rant I’m going to warn you that it is extremely biased. Not because it involves South Carolina but because I detest and loath those who ride mopeds. Every time I happen to be running late for work because I over slept due to a hard night of dwarf tossing or having sex with my ex who’s from Sparkle City. (that’s gangster for Spartanburg) For some reason we remain “friends”. I seem to get behind some 350+lbs. buffoon who happens to ride a moped.

It’s always the same idiot as well. He wears a helmet with a fucking spike in the middle. The spike in his helmet doesn’t erase the tag that says “moped”. Why doesn’t the police make him use a tag that says “DUI” instead? Why else would a 45 year old drive a moped in 20 degree weather in the first place? If I didn’t love my Acura RL so much I would gently tap his rear wheel going about 45 mph.

So when Jai Eugene of Loser With Socks sent me this story tip, I knew I had to act. I would have written this sooner but it was the weekend when he sent it and I’m a real slacker on the weekends. Plus I was rather enthralled with his piece on the 25th anniversary of the passing of Bear Bryant. I highly recommend everyone to go there right and read it then finish this up.

OK you’re back, good. Jai Eugene asked some interesting questions about the fact that Steve God Spurrier has to remind his team of moped safety.

Such as:

  • How do 30 players on a team all end up with mopeds?
  • Is this a recruiting issue:
  • What’s your 40 time?
  • How much can you squat?
  • What color is your Vespa?

Those are very good questions indeed but I have some of my own.

  • Why is the moped fairy only gracing USC?
  • Is it because they feel sorry for USC because they’re mediocre in almost every sport?
  • Does the NCAA regulate the amount of mopeds a schools football program can have?
  • Are any of the 30 or so players associated with the “Moped Army“?
  • Does this have any bearing on the fact the USC offense ran just like a moped? Except with a lot more sputtering.

I contacted my source within the USC football program and to clear things up the players aren’t using Vespas, they’re using the cheap Slovenian manufacturer Tomos mopeds instead. No one knows why so many USC players have these mopeds or if the school supplied them with the mopeds. All anyone is sure about is Steve God Spurrier is concerned about moped safety and held a class about it this past week. Why is Spurrier going through such measures? Well, as the story says:

Backup tight end Nick Prochak was hospitalized with a broken leg after being struck by a car Jan. 18 on Blossom Street; reserve fullback Clark Gaston avoided serious injury when he collided with a car backing out of a driveway on South Marion Street on Wednesday afternoon..

“Guys can’t see you as well as being in a car so everybody’s got to be careful,” Gaston said. “My situation, the guy just pulled out in front of me, and there was nothing I could do.”

Neither player was wearing a helmet, which are required for drivers under 21 in South Carolina.

Wow USC players breaking the most common and idiotic laws, who would have thought it.

Freshman quarterback Stephen Garcia, one of about 30 players with scooters, said Spurrier addressed the issue during a team meeting.

“He just said, ‘Be careful and wear a helmet,’ ” Garcia said.

What a teacher Spurrier is!!! The sad reality is instead of recruiting and coming up with defensive schemes with the brand new defensive coordinator, God Spurrier has been reduced to telling his players to be careful. I would think that’s something they should have known. Oh wait he threw that hissy fit and got the school to actually change the policy guidelines so even Jerrell Powe could get in, so maybe the players really are that stupid.

My source also sent me a recent recruiting video.

Posted in Discipline, Gamecocks, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Steve Spurrier, dumbass, moped, satire | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 8 Comments »

One Former Hawaii Warrior Has Gone Crazy.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 27, 2008

It was bound to happen. A former University of Hawaii football player named Lene Amosa has quite possibly lost it. In a whine & cry session letter sent to the editor of “The Hawaiian Advertiser” Amosa states he’s tired of hearing about how his team was beaten like a red headed stepchild on National Beat a Red Headed Stepchild day. You would think he should know the truth since June Jones left Hawaii to coach SMU, after all SMU doesn’t have to play Florida next year.

As a former player, I’m tired of hearing fans and the media say that we were overmatched by bigger, faster, stronger players.

(Spoken in a Jack Nicholson impersonation)

Amosa you might be tired of hearing the truth because you can’t handle the truth!! We live in a world dominated by college football. And college football is played by men with speed and power. Who’s going to play like that? You? Your Hawaii Warriors? The teams of the SEC have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for the weaker conferences while cursing the SEC. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: That Hawaii’s demise in the Sugar Bowl, while tragic, probably helps recruit six additional 5 star prospects to SEC schools. And while the SEC’s existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, wins championships. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want a SEC winner, you need a SEC winner. SEC fans use words like domination, tradition & BCS rankings…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something, than something is our SEC heritage and our teams pride. We also use those words to remind weaker and meek conferences just who the top conference is. Plus it’s fun to make fun of other teams. :)

Georgia got lucky, and I say that from a player’s point of view. We gave up big plays, which at the end killed us.

Lucky? Lucky? OK, now you’re just delusional and in need of some therapy and an old fashion SEC ass kicking. AGAIN!!

Posted in Ass Whipping, Georgia Bulldogs, Hawaii Warriors, Lene Amosa, SEC, SEC Football, SEC Speed, crazy | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 11 Comments »

The Legend of Brian “The Roaming Gnome” VanGorder

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 25, 2008


It’s only a matter of time

It’s a story of betrayal, passion & greed. After five weeks of fruitless searches Steve God Spurrier thought he finally found his man. On December 19, 2007, Steve Spurrier’s official website, I still think I can coach.com, reported that VanGorder was joining Spurrier’s staff to become the new Defensive Coordinator for the University of South Carolina Fighting Gamecocks.

What Spurrier didn’t know was that VanGorder was pulling an extended Bobby Cremins on him and the Gamecock nation. (Snicker)

VanGorder really pulled the wool over the Ole Ball Sack coach’s eyes. Here are some of the comments that Steve God Spurrier had to say about VanGorder’s arrival.

“Blowing your assignment just can’t be acceptable. We just do those things way too often,” Spurrier said. VanGorder “is used to coaching very good defense. … I got to believe we’ll play better.”

.

“I just think he’s a real, good sharp guy who can really lead our defense,” Spurrier said. “And he’ll be in charge.”

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“I think at this point stability is very, very important to me and my family,” he said. “The three-year contract is nice and I think that’s a statement for everybody. My intentions are to be at South Carolina and to be there a long time.”

VanGorder played the part perfectly as well. Here are some zingers he threw out there.

“I’m a college guy, I’ve declared. I’m committed”

.

“There are a couple things that attracted me there, starting with coach Spurrier,” VanGorder said.

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“Second, I’m very aware of the South Carolina situation, I like the intensity of their program, it’s a very exciting place to play.

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“And the location is comfortable for my wife and children.”

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“I’ll enjoy all the things about college football that I always have and I won’t look back at the NFL,” he said. “That’s something I’ve put behind. I’m ready to finish my career as a college football coach.”

.

“I experienced something very similar [to Petrino] at Georgia Southern,” VanGorder said. “When you transition a program, especially in the first year, you have to take on a lot of issues. When you’ve been in the business and had nothing but success and your standards and expectations are so high, that first year can really, really grind on you.”

Spurrier was eating it up as well as the local press. Then on January 24, 2008 less than a month of arriving in Columbia, VanGorder either decided that Spurrier was to lax on discipline or the USC cheerleaders were to fat and decided to bolt back to Atlanta and become the defensive coordinator for the Falcons.

Well played VanGorder like they say in those Guinness commercials “Brilliant!”

Spurrier the Old Ball Sack coach wasn’t licked yet. After one phone call he had decided to hire another defensive coordinator and teach Bobby “Quitter” Petrino a lesson on how karma can be a big bad bitch at times.

Now welcome the third defensive coordinator for the Gamecocks in 8 weeks, Ellis “I was the second choice” Johnson. Johnson and VanGorder are both cut from the same mold. Both seem to quit within weeks after taking a job and neither one of them had signed contracts yet.

“Ellis Johnson has resigned as defensive coordinator,” Petrino said Thursday. “I spoke with Coach Johnson this morning and he felt like this is the best decision for his family. I certainly understand that. He and his wife are both from South Carolina and many of their relatives still reside in the state.”

And does Spurrier have to say about fucking over Arkansas?

“That’s Arkansas‘s problem now.”

Stay classy Old Ball Sack Coach but remember you could have had this man….


Coach 0 after 2 weeks of hard drinking and in a roid rage. yaw yaw yaw

Posted in Arkansas Razorbacks, Atlanta Falcons, Bobby Petrino, NFL, NFL Football, SEC, SEC Football, USC, VanGorder, boo birds | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

WVU Update 1/25/08

Posted by Joel on January 24, 2008

So in keeping with my new found obsession into mismanagement of a Division 1-A (I refuse to call it the Bowl Subdivision), the latest salvo is a tried and true method made famous by Arkansas fans: The Freedom of Information Act. According to documents obtained by the AP, a series of e-mails between Mike Brown, Rich Rodriguez’s agent, WVU President Mike Garrison and his chief of staff Craig Walker show that Rodriguez long sought more operational and marketing control with the football program. He also wanted things like free game passes for high school coaches, an all-access pass for his cougar wife Rita, and seats for football recruits at WVU basketball games. Now there are two things that stick out at first glance. One, these requests are not that unreasonable, hell, they should be expected. But this is WVU so keep that in mind. The school’s football program has never been a national power (as evidence by the spot in the trophy case that has dust 9 inches thick in the spot where the national championship trophies go). The other thing that sticks out is that embattled athletic director Ed Pastilong was not involved in any of these emails, meaning that Rodriguez was so frustrated with the man that he went to his boss. Not good…

Also, there were several charges of interference by Gov. Joe Manchin into the Mountaineer program. Let’s see: the governor has time to poke his nose into the school’s football program, all the while the state has the second worst economy in the country and the third most fragile. Instead of trying to create jobs, bring in new industry, and try to raise the state’s GDP, he has time in his busy schedule to devote to the Mountaineer football team. Of course, the governor denies all of this, but let us not forget that he was all over the hiring process, even interviewing coaching candidates, so he hasn’t exactly had a clean track record when it comes to all things Mountaineer…

The final straw for the hated coach came in a last ditch meeting on Dec. 15 between Team Rodriguez and Garrison. Those same demands that Rodriguez asked for (marketing control, etc) was brought up. Garrison told Rodriguez basically “go to hell”. Instead, a couple of days later, Rodriguez went to Michigan.

On the surface, it looks like Rodriguez left over a few items that the school was too cheap to give him. But it goes deeper than that. Rodriguez was working in an environment where he wanted changes to reflect the “just about” big time status that West Virginia was obtaining, but the school was still stuck in the mentality that a horseless carriage would take West Virginia football players to the sockhop two counties over. He was sick of West Virginia being…well West Virginia. He couldn’t take anymore, and when his agent put in a feeler to the Wolverines, both sides couldn’t get to the bargaining table fast enough. Looking back, I can remember that everyone else in the country knew that Rodriguez was meeting with Michigan and Ed Pastilong thought that he was on a recruiting trip. Why this guy is still employed is still beyond me. His mismanagement of the athletic department and his smart ass attitude (he told Rodriguez after the loss to Pitt that losing would cause embarrassment for him at the Big East conference meetings, even though the school won the conference and was going to another BCS bowl game) has cost the school more than a couple of good coaches. The band of merry men that run the school, and by extension the state, have the management style of seasoned Iraqi generals under Saddam. I will nickname Ed Pastilong “Chemical Ali”.

Still, Rodriguez should cut the check and go. The school needs the money. And I just got word that they need to upgrade the above ground swimming pool that both their athletes and their administrators use for recreation. This is their current one…

1e2271221.jpg

Posted in BCS, Big East, Coach Rich Rodriguez, Major Harris, Michigan, Michigan Wolverines, Pitt Panthers, The Big East, WVU, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, boo birds, boosters, crazy, dumbass, football, legal troubles, mentally challenged, moron, retarded, satire, scandal, stupid, upsets, whiners | Tagged: | 4 Comments »

What the Hell is a Techniques Coordinator?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 24, 2008

“Aggressive play is a key component of success in college football these days — in fact, it has always been important.” Fulmer said at the press conference. “I, along with our staff, have increasingly felt that we needed to work on playing more aggressively at the individual level. We’ve been working like heck on this, but felt that it was time to bring in a specialist in this area — if for no other reason than to have a fresh perspective on things. It is for this reason I am extremely excited to introduce new Tennessee Assistant Coach and Techniques Coordinator, Jules Winnfield.”

Phil - Jules

Read more here at Gate 21 it’s truly hilarious.

Posted in Sports | 1 Comment »

So…Just How is the Search to Replace Dave Odom Going?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 24, 2008

The coaching search for a replacement for Dave “They’re just internet rumors” Odom is supposedly underway. Here’s a list of future losers candidates that seems to be buzzing around, just one problem not many seem that interested in being booed during a home game.

Wichita State coach Gregg Marshall.

Marshall is the former Winthrop coach who defeated Notre Dame in the tournament last year. This truly marked the decline of all things “Fighting Irish”. Marshall held a press conference just to tell USC too bad, so sad. Except he was “PC” about it.

“Through nine seasons at Winthrop I’ve learned that you can’t control rumor and speculation from the media and other sources, so I felt I needed to make a statement.

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“My total focus is on building the Wichita State basketball program toward excellence. I have not been contacted by, nor have I contacted the University of South Carolina or any school, for that matter, for any position. Period.”

Virginia Commonwealth coach Anthony Grant

He’s young, energetic and a good coach. Just one problem VCU athletics director Norwood Teague would not grant permission for any school to speak to Grant during the season.

“The only job I’m interested in right now is VCU,” Grant said during the Colonial Athletic Association coaches teleconference. “We’ve got a great situation here, I’m excited about having a chance to go up and beat Hofstra tomorrow, and that’s where our focus is.”

Translation: I can get better plus a fat raise from this.

Those are the two front runners. You could do a poll in the state this week and get as much of a response on “Grant or Marshall” as you could for “Clinton or Obama.”

Other possibilities are:

Oklahoma coach Jeff Capel

Another good coach who’s younger, just one problem he’s definitely not interested.

“I’m not interested in anything except for coaching my team,” Capel told the Tulsa World newspaper. “That’s all.”

Translation: Why would I dream of leaving now and for all things USC?

Minnesota coach Tubby “Does Kentucky Miss Me Yet?” Smith

Problem with that is he’s already making $1.75 million a year.

Some former NFL running back now turned local radio talk show host who shall remain nameless (Duce Staley) has even thrown these names as possible replacements for Odom. Try not to laugh.

North Carolina coach Roy Williams

Bahahaha yeah…right…sure…lay off the drugs Duce.

Kansas coach Bill Self.

See comments above.

Apparently Duce believes only big name coaches build big time programs. Please someone do not tell Bruce Pearl that.

Now I’m here to help beleaguered AD Eric Hyman find a coach. So this is the list I’m planning on submitting to him. It’s, how you say, more realistic.

Knicks coach Isiah Thomas

I fully believe he’s going to be unemployed soon and whom better than to lead the Gamecocks to future failure than this man? Plus he might come cheap.

San Francisco coach Eddie Sutton

Sure he’s not as young as Hyman wants but he’ll eventually get to 800 wins, if he doesn’t die first. He has a lot of experience and built the Oklahoma State program. All USC has to do is overlook the 6-7 martini lunch and 12 pack of Budweiser film sessions.

Former Missouri coach Quinn Snyder

What are a few NCAA violations mixed with cocaine addiction anyway? I think I saw Snyder at Starbucks in Wilmington, NC on a Saturday morning dressed like a 25 year old and driving a VW bus with a dent in the side. I think he’s working at The Gap part-time, but he can sing “Eye of the Tiger” really well.

Steve Newton

Oh wait sorry he’s already coached there and some USC fans are still blaming him for the current b-ball chicken curse.

Saint Luis coach Rick “I’m not Jabba the Hut’s Brother!” Majerus.

He has won a lot of games and apparently likes to naked. The thought of maybe seeing him naked would cause me to play a lot better, that’s for sure.

“The first time, [Utah was] recruiting me, and after the game I went down to the [Utes'] locker room,” says Jeff Johnsen, who signed with Utah in 1996. “His hair’s everywhere and his sweater’s off and he’s just drenched, and he’s eating a whole pizza in front of me and he’s like, ‘You want any?’ I grab a piece, and then he starts undressing and gets in the shower and is still talking to me. It was funny. It was weird. How many grown, fat, naked men do you see when you’re a high school kid?”

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Another player remembers Majerus calling him up to his hotel room on various occasions, and “he’d answer the door in his towel and I’d come in and the towel would fall off and it was like nothing had happened. He’d just be standing there buck naked. One year he had this lower-back injury, and he would have the trainer massage it with ultrasound. But instead of just lowering his pants a little bit, Majerus would pull his pants down to his ankles and sit in a chair and coach us. Sometimes he’d be like, ‘Guys, bring it in, take a knee.’ We’d come in, and we’re just like, No way this is happening.”

Umm ok…maybe I’ll scratch him off the list…besides at this rate even the Pope will hate him eventually.

Just sit back and relax to the smoothing sounds of Quinn Snyder.

Posted in Anthony Grant, Bruce Pearl, Dave Odom, Gregg Marshall, Internet Rumors, Isiah Thomas, Liar, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches, Tubby Smith, USC, Virginia Commonwealth, Wichita State, satire | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

A Message To The Law Enforcement in Knoxville

Posted by Joel on January 23, 2008

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To: Chief Sterling Owen, IV, Chief of Police for Knoxville Police Department & Chief August Washington, Chief of UTPD

CC: Bill Haslam, Mayor of Knoxville, Coach Phillip Fulmer, Head Honcho, All Things Volunteer Football

From: Joel, Contributing Blogger for http://ymswwc.wordpress.com and Volunteer

Dear Sirs,

I would like to first take the opportunity to thank you kind men for reading this letter. I know that you are busy trying to keep the streets of Knoxville safe, the campus of the University of Tennessee secure, and the whole state proud of its team, the Volunteers. However, as a concerned fan, both of the school, the SEC Conference, and College Football in particular, I am a little bit concerned over what has happened thus far over the past few months concerning the Volunteer football program and police run ins. These concerns have led me to question myself and ask: What can I do as a fan and native Tennessean to help out, in true Volunteer fashion??? So far, this letter that I am typing with great conviction has been my call to arms.

Listen men, we simply cannot allow your fine officers to harass our football players. They have enough to deal with, such as studying, hanging with some friends, playing football, and representing Volunteers worldwide. These fine young men are doing what it takes to “Work Like Heck” and make us all proud. So what if they decide to have a drink to relax. Is it too much trouble to ask that they stumble around in public in peace??? That fight that went on at Gibbs Hall??? What you would call a fight is what a real officer would call a UFC amateur competition. Now, because of you, Coach Fulmer has to take time away from his 6 a.m. Krispy Kreme run just so that the team can engage in some early morning calisthenics months ahead of schedule in preparation for the upcoming difficult season. I don’t see Jim Tressel getting his whole entire team up to run their 6.8 second 40′s (because they are so fast at Ohio State). We all know how irritable Coach Fulmer and Coach Chavis can get when they don’t have their 8 dozen doughnuts and 3 gallon carafes of coffee before they eat breakfast…

As for the alleged marijuana incident with Gerald Jones, Ahmad Paige, and William Brimfield, they were victims of one big understanding. A real police officer would have concluded that the marijuana smell in the car was actually a new type of GHB scented car fragrance. The “marijuana cigarette”??? Mr. Paige simply had his car detailed at the car wash where they sprayed his car with the “Chronic Fresh” scent, and one of the workers there must have had the cigarette slip out of his pocket. See??? Charge a real criminal, not these boys. Now they have to go on police ride alongs as punishment; at the very least, let them watch Season 1 of Reno: 911. I mean, having to suffer through the antics of Officers Jones and Garcia is punishment enough, much less Clementine, Weigel, Junior, and Lt. Dangle. More importantly, we lost two recruits to Oklahoma, which has a history of allowing players to roam free…

Josh “McLovin” McNeil should have been given a handshake and a pat on the back, not a ticket and a court summons. He graciously hosted 3 ladies in his room of his apartment and was bothering no one. The cat was the one that knocked the flower pot through the window. Let’s think about it: realistically, the chances of getting 2 women in the bed with the average guy is slim to none, McNeil got 3. I personally will shake his hand, no, I will HUG him if I ever meet him, as he “Volunteered” to host 3 women at once. God bless him…

In closing, boys will be boys. Who among us did not have a drink or 10 when we were 18??? Marijuana you say??? In The Netherlands, they would call that “Herbal Refreshment”. Guns??? I always thought the Constitution guaranteed us the right to bear arms??? Listen, we need to get together as a community and realize what our priorities are, which should be Volunteer Athletics. Think of a world with 1 and 2 star recruits on the field on Saturdays. People will be blaming Fulmer for poor recruiting, but if you keep harassing the players, the blame will be on you, because the real stars will be too busy with court dates and probation.

Thank you for your time and GO BIG ORANGE!!!

Posted in BCS, Big Orange, College Football, Crime & Punishment, DUI, Dead Drunk, Discipline, Fulmer, Go Vols, Jim Tressel, Marijuana, Phillip Fulmer, Po Po, Police, Rocky Top, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, SEC Speed, Tennessee, Tennessee Volunteers, UT vols, boo birds, boosters, court tv, drugs, football, fulmer sucks, guilty, legal troubles, mary jane, road rage, satire, scandal, stupid, vols | 3 Comments »

Larry Brown States When He Coached New York it was Like Living that Rockwell Song

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 23, 2008

Ah the 80′s I’ll never forget that time. I’m a child of the 80′s. It was a time of greed, Reaganomics & plenty of musical one hit wonders. People had not figured out what a freak Boy George of Culture Club was & Michael Jackson’s skin pigmentation was still black. Larry Brown former New York Knicks coach states he was living in the 80′s while coaching the hapless Knicks. He states his life was a surreal version of the 80′s hit song by Rockwell titled “Someone’s Always Watching Me”.

In the February issue of “Philadelphia” magazine, Brown states the Knicks had “spies throughout the arena” watching his every move.

“Imagine when you get to work, they don’t talk to you,” he said. “They had security people standing close to me in press conferences, and spies throughout the arena.”

Now Larry Brown realizes what others realize and that is, this was the start of “Operation I’m a Fuck Up” that was first envisioned by Isiah Thomas & placed into action by James “007″ Dolan.

For the one year that Brown was the coach the Knicks compiled a 23-59 record. Thomas might break that or he might not. Brown chastised Stephon “Sexual Deviant” Marbury in public something that the entire Knicks team did earlier this season. After the season, Brown gave interview to the New York press without a “public relations official” present. That might have been what sealed his fate.

According to this story, the Knicks have used spying tactics before.

“The stories from the reporters are endless: layers of institutional paranoia; public relations officials who openly eavesdrop on private conversations with executives and players; the threat-and implementation-of cutting off reporters who are perceived to be critical of the team. “Everyone is so worried about upsetting Jim Dolan, or getting fired, and as a result people aren’t themselves,” said Mr. Beck. “If you transplanted the same individuals and put them in another city, then they’d be far more interesting. They’d be themselves.”

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To their credit, the Knicks’ press officials don’t deny Mr. Dolan’s unusually hands-on role in managing their downtrodden core of reporters. “I think it’s fair to say that Jim [Dolan] is aware of, and a part of, the shaping of the media policy,” said Barry Watkins, the senior vice president of communications for the Garden.

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The policy was instituted in the summer of 2001. (Coincidentally, one supposes, the last year the Knicks had a winning record.)”

Brown is many things, but in this case he can’t be lying. If the press is complaining about being spied on, reporters being eavesdropped on by Knick officials, employees half-joking that if they talk out of turn to any press member that they’d be fired, and then what Brown says has to be reasonably true re: being spied on within MSG. They wouldn’t be doing that now to the local press if they hadn’t been doing that early to anyone else, like Larry Brown.

If David Stern wasn’t such a coward about dealing with the multitude of out-of-control problems in New York, and how far the Knicks are from winning their last title some 30-odd years ago, this would be a much bigger story than it is. It’s a bunker mentality, and it’s making a historic franchise in the world’s biggest media market into something far worse than an unfunny joke.

Posted in Isiah Thomas, James Dolan, Larry Brown, NBA, New York Knicks | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Dwight Howard: Millionaire, NBA All-Star, Christian, Baby Daddy

Posted by Joel on January 22, 2008

Dwight Howard, center for the Orlando Magic, is a devout Christian. I remember when he came out of high school ESPN ran a story about how he wanted to come in and change the culture of the NBA, 1 soul at a time. Then I heard that he recently had a son out of wedlock with a former Orlando Magic dancer. I thought of one word: hyprocrit…

Then I saw pics of Royce Reed, the dancer that is his son’s mother:

l_073aa57dcf8dacbe920065af8a0df5f3.jpg m_cc28e396f96e3c500f6999c4c3c7164c.jpg m_09ba2370741bc2d95d3ed60d9a5476a3.jpg m_f4e7cde50f22bad0f3812f00fb9d9dc0.jpg

I started to remember that “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God”, and that “Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone…

So another word now immediately comes to mind: lucky…

Well he knows how to “get it in the hole”…

Posted in DAvid Stern, God, Magic, NBA, basketball, cat killer, draft pick | 16 Comments »

Cedrick Wilson Likes His Women Crazy

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 22, 2008


Ok maybe not this crazy…then again…..

Pittsburgh Steelers and former University of Tennessee wide receiver Cedrick Wilson like his women on the crazy side. No, not the schizophrenic Herschel Walker type of crazy but another like of crazy all together. Cedrick likes his women in the 12 stand off with the Po Po crazy. Story.

Apparently sometime Saturday morning Wilson and his girlfriend, Lindsey Paulat got in to a lovers quarrel. Around noon Wilson left the whole situation and her mother decided to talk to her hoping (I’m sure) to make things better. That’s when things got a little crazy.

While there with her mommy, Paulat took one of Wilson’s handguns and shot two holes in Wilson’s walls. The mother realizing what a psychotic bitch she raised decided it was time to leave and promptly called the Po Po.

What could have Wilson done to make his girlfriend act in such a manner? The Po Po arrive and after making contact with her and seeing just how crazy she is, they thought it would be best to evacuate some 70 neighbors. Damn!! She must have found Wilson’s “University of South Carolina” model handgun & his “University of Florida” model AK-47 for them to take that type of measure.

While no details as what (if anything) Wilson might have done to make his girlfriend act so irrational, has been released, I have my own theories about that.

Theory #1

Wilson was truthful to her. See the below example.

G/F Does this make me look fat?

C/W No honey, it makes you look fatter than normal.

Theory #2

Wilson comes to terms with the progress of the relationship. See the below example.

G/F When are we getting married.

C/W A half past never.

G/F Motherfucker! You TOLD me we were getting married after the season! I’ll cut your balls off.

C/W Shit got to run; I’m calling your mom for protection.

So let this be a lesson to all males out there. It’s ok to tell them white lies. It’s ok to ask for help when dealing with crazy females. And NEVER, NEVER piss off your girlfriend with a loaded firearm in immediate vicinity. However when and if she’s released I bet the make sex will be great.

Nothing like jealous women you’ve got to love them….well until they take your gun and shoot up your house. Even then he got off lighter than Andre Rison did.

Posted in Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Pittsburgh Steelers, SEC Speed, Tennessee Volunteers, court tv, crazy | Tagged: , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

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