Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for February 7th, 2008

West Virginia Is Trying To Imitate An SEC School…HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Posted by Joel on February 7, 2008

Ah yes West By God Virginia. Apparently, if making the news for fake degrees, suing former football coaches, and, well, being West Virginia was not enough, now the football players are trying to imitate an SEC team. Which SEC team??? I will get to that in a minute…

New Mountaineer coach Bill Stewart has recently announced that LB John Holmes (insert porn joke here), DL James Ingram (no relation to soul singer of the same name), and RB Ed Collington (I got nothing here) are no longer on the team. They will be able to retain their scholarships through the end of the spring semester. These 3 geniuses were pulled over for speeding. When the police opened the car, they detected the smell of the “stickiest of the icky” commonly called in Gainesville Gunja-Aid or in Knoxville known as a Recruiting Tool (which obviously didn’t work due to the crappy signing class). Upon searching the vehicle, baggies of the “green stuff” were found both in the car and in Ingram’s shoe. Wait, it gets better: Ingram told the cops that more weed was located in their apartment. Try not to shake your head so hard.

So of course, thanks to a helpful hint from Deputy Barney Fife, the cops search the apartment and found a lot more drugs and bags. Now, because McGruff the Crime ‘Eer told the cops about the extra weed and baggies, they are facing several more felony charges than they would have been if he had just kept his mouth shut. Either he had a moment of clarity because he knew he was doing wrong, or that weed was so good that he just had to tell the cops in hopes they would buy some. Of course, I wonder where that weed will end up once the trial is over with. Someone should have told these 3 that couches are the thing to burn in Morgantown, not blunts…

Now I know which SEC team that WVU reminds me of, and honestly it only took a few seconds of reflection because well, this is West Virginia we are talking about. The school is Thomas’ favorite whipping boy, the University of South Carolina. Let’s examine a little further. Both the Mountaineers and the Gamecocks have losing all-time bowl records, neither school has won a national championship in football but their in-state rivals (Marshall and Clemson) both have national titles, both fanbases have an over inflated sense of entitlement, and both have had players that have done some of the most head scratching things to get in trouble with the cops that you can think of.

So there you have it. The Mountaineers and the Gamecocks are now 2 kindred spirits. West Virginia can say with pride that even though their athletics department is slightly more organized than Iraq circa 2003, they can say with pride that they are almost at an SEC level. Nothing will stop the ‘Eer and ‘Cock Connection from years of mediocrity and no glory to speak of. Long live ‘Eer and ‘Cock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted in BCS, Big East, Clemson Tigers, Coach Rich Rodriguez, College Football, Crime & Punishment, Dave Wannstedt, Discipline, Gamecocks, Major Harris, Marijuana, NCAA, Old Ball Sack Coach, Pacman Jones, Po Po, Police, SEC, SEC Football, Scams, South Carolina, South Carolina Gamecocks, USC, WVU, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, ass chewing, bad drivers, bongs, classless, clemson, court tv, drugs, dumbass, guilty, legal troubles, mary jane, moral victories, moron, mullets, pot, road rage, satire, scandal, stupid, team spirit, whiners, white trash | 9 Comments »

Breaking Down the Tennessee Volunteers 08 Recruiting Class

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 7, 2008

Well signing day has come and gone and of course pessimistic Volunteer fans aren’t happy with this years class. One thing they seem to forget is Tennessee was only going to sign a small number of players this year due to the large numbers they signed last year. Not to mention that fact Tennessee isn’t really losing many players.

I’m here to breakdown this years class and predict their future as it relates to Tennessee football. Then the pessimists shall be silenced.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in All SEC Teams Beware!!, Arkansas Razorbacks, Auburn, Bama Sucks, Clemson Tigers, Coker, Crime & Punishment, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Fulmer, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Go Vols, LSU Tigers, Miami hurricanes, North Carolina Tarheels, Phillip Fulmer, Rocky Top, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Tennessee Volunteers, USC, UT vols, Vanderbilt, fire philip fulmer, fulmer sucks, mississippi state bulldogs, ole miss rebels | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments »