Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for February 26th, 2008

There’s More To This Big 10 Team Than Wheat & Crappy Football

Posted by Joel on February 26, 2008

Well now that I have a chance to write, after travelling for the job, missing the game of the year because I was on a plane (UT v. Memphis), and being depressed about losing to a talented Tennessee basketball team, I get to now focus my attention to college football players and programs out of control. I know, you’re probably thinking Alabama, Tennessee, Florida, South Carolina, Florida State, or even Penn State. But just as quietly as they have sucked the last couple of years on the field, this Big 10 team has proven that even they are not too slow for the police blotter off of the field…


The University of Iowa Hawkeyes have had 14 player arrests in the past calendar year. This hawk has been flying off of the radar, just like their past football season. The latest arrest happened this past week, as WR James Cleveland and backup QB Arvell Nelson was arrested. Cleveland was busted for, get this, 21 pills of oxycodone and 24 doses of cardisoprodol, a drug to relax muscles. The drugs had no label and no prescription. Nelson was arrested because he had weed (aka Gainesville’s finest or Knoxville Recruiting Tool) sitting on his desk in plain view. I wonder if Nelson is an Ag-Science Major…

Well the school has had players arrested for the following: several drunken driving arrests, credit card fraud (also known as the Gottlieb), taking DVD’s from Wal-Mart (hopefully not the $1 bin DVD’s), sexual assault, and the ever popular failure to appear. Wow. Jai Eugene over at Losers With Socks wrote about the trend of Alabama having “16″, but give these guys a little time and they should beat that record easily. Fulmer Cup my ass.

I guess instead of having pink locker rooms at Kinnick Stadium, they might paint the dorm rooms pink…


This is NOT a Photoshop btw…

Posted in Alabama, Alabama Crimson Tide, All SEC Teams Beware!!, BCS, Bammers, College Football, Crime & Punishment, DUI, ESPN, Florida Gators, Football Poll, Iowa Hawkeyes, Tennessee, Tennessee Volunteers, UT vols, alcoholics, bad drivers, big 10, big ten, big ten football, bongs, boosters, cheaters, drugs, dumbass, football, stupid | 1 Comment »

The Many Talents of Tennessee B-ball Player Jordan Howell

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 26, 2008

Sing on brother.

Posted in Go Vols, SEC Basketball, Tennessee Volunteers | Leave a Comment »

Meet the Newest Addition to the Volunteer Coaching Staff

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 26, 2008

Phil Fulmer has made another addition to his staff. Meet Kevin VanDerzee he is the former University of Richmond director of football operations. He has been hired as Tennessee’s director of high school relations.

I’m not sure what the position entails but I’m positive it’s a waste of time really important. In fact I think some other positions need to be added to the football staff such as police ride-a-long coordinator, executive pimp, freshman babysitter & den mother.

VanDerzee, 30, served two seasons as Richmond’s director of football operations under Dave Clawson.

“It’s a great opportunity for me and something I didn’t forsee happening,” VanDerzee said. “Dave (Calwson) took this job and we were in scramble mode at Richmond, and to be honest had put together a pretty good recruiting class. We were just getting settled when the phone call came that this might be an opportunity and it happened quick.”

VanDerzee originally from Ravena, N.Y. has been director of football operations at Central Connecticut State, defensive ends coach at Albany, was gameday operations director for the Wilmington (N.C.) Sharks baseball team and was twice an intern in the NFL’s New York Giants’ player personnel department.

Let me reference this coaching position for you. You remember the kid in grade school who was put in charge of the class while the teacher had to talk to someone in the hallway and would report anyone who was bad, that is the exact description of this job. Oh and on Saturdays he gets to carry Phil’s headphones.

Posted in Go Vols, Phillip Fulmer, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, fulmer sucks | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »