Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

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Archive for February 28th, 2008

Michael Vick Supports Illegal Immigration

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 28, 2008

Michael Vick, the anti-hero for old and young alike, apparently doesn’t like prison as much as some thought. According to they spoke with a friend who has a friend, who is the mechanic of some dude that is the garbage man whose relative is currently incarcerated with Mike Vick in Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary – in the same cell block.

And that person claims:

“Michael Vick is not in [administrative segregation] – he’s right there with the rest of the inmates. A few [inmates] stepped to him when he first got there but everything is cool now … My [family member] says that he’s paying a Mexican gang to keep him safe.”

OK I admit I was wrong because I figured the Mexican Mafia would be pissed about him adopting their heritage, sue me. (Except for LawVol cause he would win) One thing is certain Vick getting better protection now than when he played for the Falcons.

With any luck we’ll see Clemens join him soon and at the rate the arrests are piling up in Knoxville…”The Longest Yard 2: Reality is a MoFo Bitch” will be coming soon to DVD everywhere.

Posted in Crime & Punishment, Michael Vick, classless, conVick, court tv, dog fighting | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

The Only Thing Worse Than ESPN TV Programming

Posted by Joel on February 28, 2008

I know, it’s a catchy title. Usually, I leave criticizing ESPN for other blogsites such as The Big Lead or Awful Announcing, but a network that I once could not live without has become the network that I cannot stand to watch. I would rather sit down with the misses and watch marathons of Extreme Makeover and Dancing With the Stars than sit through another segment of the (insert name here) heads at ESPN. At times, I would still rather mute the lovely Erin Andrews than listen to her ask an uncomfortable Kelvin Sampson about his job status, knowing that he can’t answer anything in the middle of an investigation. Why would she ask such questions??? Because her corporate bosses tell her to. While stuck in an office building the past few days with nothing but a radio and crappy internet access, I was forced to endure the impossible. It was during this time that I realized that there is something even worse than ESPN TV…

When was the last time any of you listened to ESPN Radio??? My God, the crap that comes out of one radio station is unbelievable. Let’s start off with Pussboy and Steroid (Mike & Mike). The past few days I was subjected to Eric Kuselias, who in the pillowfight between which one is worse between Pussboy and Kusey, there is no definitive winner. Why these two are still on the air I have no idea, except maybe to give soccer moms something to listen to so that their husbands seem more manly.

Then we go to everyone’s favorite douchebag, Colin Cowherd. I won’t spend too much time on him, because anyone who goes on any number of blogs will tell you without question Cowherd the one guy at ESPN that no one can exactly figure out why he has a job. I will say this: never have I seen a guy who really has done squat professionally be so much of an arrogant ass. He always is quick to bring up ratings, yet when noon eastern hits, his ratings drop. Why??? Jim Rome is on, and yes Rome is a love him or hate him guy, but at least he can make fun of himself every once in a while.

Next we have the slot formerly occupied by Dan Patrick but is now taken up by Mike Tirico and his band of merry men. I understand that Tirico has been with the company for a while, but it’s bad enough that I am subjected to him for Monday Night Football (I had at one point last season muted the broadcast in favor of Westwood One’s coverage with the silky smooth and back biting Marv Albert). He is also doing the occasional NBA game. Now he is on the radio. You know the saying of “Jack of All Trades, Master of None”??? That ought to be tattooed onto Tirico’s bald spot.

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Posted in Cal, ESPN, Evil Empire, Notre Dame, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Oklahoma State Cowboys, Rips Media, University of California berkeley, notre dame sucks | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »