Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for April 9th, 2008

Twice is Nice but Eight is Great

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 9, 2008

Congrats go to my beloved Lady Vols for capturing their second straight national championship and their eight title in womens basketball which is almost as many kids as Travis Henry has. For what’s supposedly one of the most difficult feats in all of athletics, repeating a championship certainly proved easy enough for the University of Tennessee. Apparently it helps when you know where you’re going.

In the span of four minutes early in the first half, Stanford committed six turnovers and watched Tennessee turn a 5-4 deficit into a 15-7 lead. The space previously plentiful when pinpoint passing and backdoor cuts put defenders on their heels in earlier rounds vanished. When Alberta Auguste picked up a foul for a handcheck against Wiggins 25 feet from the basket, she just raised her hand in recognition and waited for the inbounds — as if to suggest the officials might occasionally let the Cardinal borrow an inch, but the Lady Vols were always waiting to reclaim it.

By the time it was over, Stanford had committed 25 turnovers — its most in two-and-a-half seasons. Tara VanDerveer’s team showed its spirit in keeping the game within reach until the closing minutes, but it essentially was playing for pride during much of that effort. Stanford tried its best to get the early edge, but it was never going to happen.

ESPN just Candace Parker on Sporscenter and she thanked the so-called experts for picking Stanford to win it all. She Said “we watch your show and this trophy should be yours”. Go Big Orange!

Candace Parker is gorgeous. Makes women’s basketball worth watching when a woman looks feminine. She has to be top 5 all time as a player in the womens game and looks for a female baller. That’s all respect intended… the girl looks good and is good!

Posted in Big Orange, Go Vols, Lady Vols, SEC Basketball, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

According to Prison Officials Either Arthur Blank or Vick is Lying about Playing Football (I’m Banking on the Latter)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 9, 2008

Just one day after the owner of the Atlanta Falcons Author Blank proclaimed in an interview with the New York Daily News that Vick is playing ball in prison to keep his body in shape, his arm limber and hoping to avoid rapists to pass the time, federal prison officials told the Journal-Constitution that Vick did not arrive at the Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary Camp in time to participate in the facility’s football season.

Uh oh someone is fibbing…gee I wonder who it could be. ConVICK’ed felon Michael or billionaire Blank. Hmm…the mind ponders this.

“Apparently, there was a prison football team and he played quarterback for both sides,” Blank told the Daily News. He was referring to statements dog killer Vick said in letters he wrote to Blank.

When told of Blank’s account of Vick’s football activity at the prison, a spokesman for Leavenworth sounded “incredulous,” according to the Journal-Constitution.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kevin Johnson told the newspaper.

A spokesperson for the U.S. Bureau of Prisons told the Journal-Constitution, however, that Vick might be throwing a football in his free time but he also might be getting gang raped and making license plates to pass the time as well.

Then the spokesperson clarified and said “No wait he’s washing pots and pans so being gang raped is more the sure thing. Either way both are great at passing time. However, Vick is on my federal correctional facility fantasy team.”

I wonder if there is a salary cap involved here

“It’s not unheard of for inmates to toss around a football,” Tracy Billingsley another prison spokesperson told the newspaper. “But there just are no games until the fall.”

I think Billingsley meant to say Vick had not COMPLETED any passes in the prison football league.

She also clarified to the newspaper that the inmates play only flag football at the facility and that tackle football aroused the bitch inmates to much.

Wow, they have a deadline to sign up for football in jail? Do they have free agency in jail too? Are we going to be watching a televised Jail house Flag Football game in the Fall?

Blank, through a spokesperson of his own, declined to be interviewed by the Journal-Constitution.

If Blank could pull some strings to get Vick moved to Nash Correctional Institution, he could be tossing bombs to Rae Carruth. How cool would that be?

By the way, the prison checkers league kicks off in February 2009, and the season will last two weeks. The deadline for sign up was two years ago. They’re totally running out of time to get everything organized and set up.

Posted in Ass Whipping, Atlanta Falcons, Crime & Punishment, Michael Vick, Ron Mexico, conVick, court tv, dog fighting | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »