While out at Katy Mills Mall here n Houston (I mean, Katy), I went into the Dallas Cowboys Store to see what the marketing geniuses from the Cowboys have out now. As soon as I walked in, I saw this on a t-shirt:
That’s right, for only $19.99 you can get a Tony Romo for President shirt. Now I know Romo has a star quality about him, but Tony Romo for President??? Get this, the guy working there said that they can’t keep enough of these shirts in stock, either in-store or online. He didn’t like it when I asked when they would put out a Jessica Simpson=Yoko Ono t-shirt.
So as I look for other stuff, I see this total wate of fabric:
Notice T.O.’s arms are quite short on this t-shirt. The irony is that his arms get that short when he sees a linebacker about to crush him and he drops a pass. I asked the guy if I could get one special made, but instead of popcorn, could they put in hundreds of Oxycontin that he (accidentally) overdosed on. At least that got a chuckle from the guy behind the counter.
So then I finally saw the nail in the coffin. For little girls who want to grow up to be a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, there’s this:
That’s right: for the uber low price of $49.99, your little princess can have one of these limited edition Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Barbie dolls. Of course, they all look like a bunch of trannys with bad weave jobs and chicken legs, which is totally not like the real Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. I asked the guy if they shipped a lot of these to Eddie Murphy’s house and he fell out of his chair.
Jerry Jones is truly a marketing genius. He needs to be, plastic surgery and Botox can be expensive from what I understand…



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