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Archive for April 18th, 2008

True Wastes of Money…Or Perfect Gifts for Nutjob Cowboy Fans…

Posted by Joel on April 18, 2008

While out at Katy Mills Mall here n Houston (I mean, Katy), I went into the Dallas Cowboys Store to see what the marketing geniuses from the Cowboys have out now. As soon as I walked in, I saw this on a t-shirt:

That’s right, for only $19.99 you can get a Tony Romo for President shirt. Now I know Romo has a star quality about him, but Tony Romo for President??? Get this, the guy working there said that they can’t keep enough of these shirts in stock, either in-store or online. He didn’t like it when I asked when they would put out a Jessica Simpson=Yoko Ono t-shirt.

So as I look for other stuff, I see this total wate of fabric:

Notice T.O.’s arms are quite short on this t-shirt. The irony is that his arms get that short when he sees a linebacker about to crush him and he drops a pass. I asked the guy if I could get one special made, but instead of popcorn, could they put in hundreds of Oxycontin that he (accidentally) overdosed on. At least that got a chuckle from the guy behind the counter.

So then I finally saw the nail in the coffin. For little girls who want to grow up to be a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, there’s this:

That’s right: for the uber low price of $49.99, your little princess can have one of these limited edition Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Barbie dolls. Of course, they all look like a bunch of trannys with bad weave jobs and chicken legs, which is totally not like the real Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. I asked the guy if they shipped a lot of these to Eddie Murphy’s house and he fell out of his chair.

Jerry Jones is truly a marketing genius. He needs to be, plastic surgery and Botox can be expensive from what I understand…

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WVU, The Center for Racial Equality Off The Field

Posted by Joel on April 18, 2008

Back in January, as part of YMSWWC’s “non” Award Winning Series WVU: One BIG Clusterf**k, we posted how Calvin Magee, who was the OC for the Mountaineers before Rich “Paid Rod” Rodriguez left for Michigan, wanted to interview for the head coaching job at West Virginia. Initially, he was told by a WVU administrator he had no shot at getting the job because of his skin color, but he never told the press who that person was.

Well on Wednesday he told the AP who that administrator was. His name: Larry Aschebrook. His position at the time was the executive director of the Mountaineer Athletic Club, the school’s fundraising arm for athletics (in other words, he was West Virginia’s resident ass kisser). Aschebrook now is the head of Arizona State’s fundraising arm, although he is probably kissing the asses of MILF’s in the desert as opposed to hairy coal miners asses.

Of course, Magee has informed and interviewed with West Virginia’s Office of Social Justice, which is designated for claims of all types of discrimination.

Jennifer McIntosh, head of the department, has as of yet to respond to the AP. But when asked about the situation a few months ago, she offered this gem:

“Who? I don’t know anything about [Magee].”

Yup, so as you could imagine then, the topic of West Virginia football was a hell of a lot bigger back in January than now, so for her, an employee of the school and in charge of the office that Magee made the complaint, to not know how the guy is speaks to the “fine” work of research and follow through in which the office operates. Quite frankly, I have seen ants operate more efficiently. Better yet, I have seen Pitt Panther defenses operate more efficiently one cold December night in Morgantown (13-9).

I can see it now, almost as I have seen it before. Imagine an Old West setting. All the good townfolks gathered around waiting for the new sheriff to get in town. A Mountaineer stands on one of the small town’s rooftops and sees the new guy riding in on his pretty horse. He alerts the people of him coming, but a church bell cuts his words off. When Magee gets there, I could see the looks of horror and disappointment on the people’s faces. They are pissed and shamed, and one shoots a gun as Magee has a big ol’ smile on his face. I wonder where I have seen that…

Posted in College Football, NCAA, Sports | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »