Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

The rain stops. The clouds clear. A small beam of sunlight shines upon the Garden once again. At long last, Isiah Thomas is out as head coach of the New York Knicks. Finally, it was like watching a wounded animal.

In one of the most heavily expected firings in NBA history, incoming Knicks president Donnie Walsh announced late today he was firing that half-brained twit relieving Thomas of his coaching duties. But Thomas, still owed $18 million after receiving a long-term contract extension 13 months ago because Dolan is either an idiot or on some heavy drugs, will remain in the organization with no official title.

Basically Thomas will have to work for his $$$. He could be the unofficial janitor or the unofficial Walsh ball licker. The possibilities are endless, but it’s a mistake. Thomas is like a franchise cancer…

“I think Isiah remaining part of the franchise is good for the organization,” Walsh said on a conference call with reporters. “I value Isiah’s knowledge of the game and his opinions, so I will use him as a resource. Isiah will be reporting to me. There will be nobody reporting to Isiah.”

If he has meaningful input he should have been giving it since the start of the season and maybe he would still be the coach. If the Knicks are truly returning to sanity, Marbury and Randolph are on the next train out.

The Knicks finished 23-59, matching the franchise record for losses, in their seventh straight losing season.

“I can’t tell you really where we failed,” Walsh said. “The bottom line is we haven’t won, and the team didn’t look like it was motivated to try to win.”

Uhhh let’s see..this season alone, Thomas was found to have sexually harassed a former team employee, feuded with point guard Stephon Marbury and benched center Eddy Curry — the players Thomas acquired in the two biggest of a number of moves that never panned out. And to reiterate that’s this season alone.

“Obviously, when you’re losing, there has to be a culture change,” he said. “There’s no easy answer. … We’ve got to work 24-7 to become competitive.”

And Thomas will be a part of that. Why I don’t know…

“I feel like some of the bigger events that happened on the way with Isiah overshadowed some of the good things” that he accomplished, Walsh said.

“I will be in touch with Isiah a lot,” he said.

Every day at lunch. “Isiah, where’s my calzone? I smell calzone. Isiah?!”

Wow…the architect of some of the worst trades in NBA history? A sexual harassment scandal? Amazing….that they still want to keep him a part of the organization. I don’t understand how an organization in New York could tolerate so much from a guy, and yet keep him for janitorial duties. I mean it boggles the mind that he held both GM and coaching positions at the same time.

Help me decide what to do with Thomas if I had to keep him, what would be the end result?

a. Isaiah gets to section A-5 but brings a broom and a dustpan
b. Isaiah brings a mop and bucket, but to section c-6
c. Isaiah brings broom and dustpan to section c-6

Chants of “Fire Isiah!” sometimes started minutes after home games, and even Dolan’s strong relationship with Thomas couldn’t convince people the coach would last.