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A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for May, 2008

And You Thought the UFC was a Manly Sport

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 30, 2008

Ultimate Fighting Championship. Yep it sounds tough. It’s taking over where boxing has been floundering for the past several years.

A-List celebrities such as Shaquille O’Neal, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, David Spade, Donald Trump (and his hair), Michael Jordan and Jamie Pressly all have been seen at the live events.

Yes the UFC brings out some of the toughest men in this country.

There is a downfall though…it also brings out…Michael Jackson!

According to TMZ, that’s what Michael Jackson did last Saturday night:

MJ rolled up to the event in a wheelchair, just in time to watch Tito Ortiz get smacked around … that is, if he could see anything through those ridiculously blacked out shades.

Yep, that’s Jacko above. I hope he enjoyed the show. To bad he wasn’t used as a punching bag.

Remember I still need “bail” money!!! Click here for details.

Posted in Michael Jackson, Trumps' Hair, UFC | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

Mindy McCready Sings & Chances are Clemens Won’t Like the Tune

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 30, 2008

America’s replacement for the now departed Anna Nicole Smith White Trash Queen, Mindy McCready, has started singing to the Feds as they investigate whether Clemens perjured himself before a congressional committee.

I can see it now:

Ms. McCready, I would like to remind you that you are under oath before I submit my questioning. So, question number 1:

How many years of age were you when The Rocket first brought you the heat? And the second part of this question: Was there ever any chin music involved? Keep in mind that we’re just wanting to get an accurate idea as to what it was like for you to face The Rocket, Ms. McCready. Okay? You may answer now.

“She’s relevant because she spent 15 years in a relationship with Roger Clemens and probably knows a lot about Roger’s associates and activities,” Richard Emery, one of Brian McNamee’s lawyers, told the Daily News. “She may have leads to people Roger associated with that the FBI wants to follow. She could lead to a lot of probative information.”

I wonder if Roger had her doing HGH too, or maybe he had to go hit that because his wife was doing too much HGH?

Emery said that he plans to depose McCready for a separate defamation lawsuit that Clemens has filed against McNamee.

“He brought it on by putting his reputation at issue,” Emery told the Daily News. “He can’t cabin off his reputation with respect to the use of steroids from the rest of his reputation.”

Who needs to watch “General Hospital”when we can watch”As The Rocket Squirms”?

You know I wanted to ask all of you opinions on this: Will you vote Roger Clemens in Hall of Fame after all of this?

Remember I still need “bail” money!!! Click here for details.

Posted in Crime & Punishment, MLB, Major League Baseball, Mindy McCready, Roger Clemens, cheaters, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Ryan Perrilloux says OCD Made him do some Crazy Sh*T that or he’s a Dumb Ass

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 30, 2008

In a way too long interview that was given “exclusively” to Yahoo! Sports, former LSU quarterback Ryan Perrilloux, states it was OCD that made him act like a moron and Coach Leslie “Big Hat Small Penis” Miles knew about it all along.

Perrilloux states he was diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and was prescribed medication to control symptoms such as anxiety.

Perrilloux said he was experiencing ear aches last summer and, when LSU’s medical staff could find nothing wrong, he met with a psychiatrist who diagnosed his problem. The psychological disorder is commonly known as OCD and characterized by obsessive thoughts and rituals.

Other symptom of this disease- The belief that I can do anything I like at anytime I like and nobody will do anything about it because I’m good in sports.

Also in his case OCD also caused him to use drugs, berate a waiter with obscenities and racial slurs get mixed up in a scheme involving counterfeit money, skip practices & miss classes.

“The OCD made me do it.” If he were really “sick” he should be able to sue LSU using the Americans with Disabilities Act. Someone please explain to him that Paxil won’t cure stupidity.

“That’s what was wrong with me because I always used to pop my jaw and used to pick at my skin, bite my nails,” he said.

“That was the first time I knew I had Obsessive-Compulsive (disorder),” Perrilloux said. “Because I was always so busy, I didn’t know I had it. They said that’s a way to hide it.”

I don’t buy it. A very common symptom of having OCD is a strong sense to abide by the rules and not do something criminal or wrong. This is driven by fear of punishment or law enforcement.

Jack Crowe, head coach at Jacksonville State, said he learned about the diagnosis while doing a background check before he offered Perrilloux a scholarship. He also said he thought it helped explain Perrilloux’s troubled stay in Baton Rouge, La.

“I think what you have is a little bit of a compound effect of several different things there,” Crowe said. “Not the least of which is that he walked in there behind two pretty good quarterbacks and has been a guy that stood there and held the clipboard, and it’s about to kill him. That’ll change your character.

“Yeah, he ought to be able to handle that. He ought to be able to handle a lot of things. But you got all that compounded together.”

Perrilloux said he stopped taking medication with doctor’s approval and has the OCD symptoms under control. But his mother, a licensed practical nurse, said she and her son agreed he did not suffer from OCD and he never took the medication.

So is Perrilloux lying? Did take the meds and stop or is he using some lame excuse to justify he past bad behavior?

Perrilloux would neither confirm nor deny published reports that he failed a recent drug test, but his mother, Bobbie Breaux, told Yahoo! Sports that Perrilloux tested positive for a banned drug as a freshman and that a recent drug test detected “trace” amounts of a banned substance in her son. She said she did not know what the banned substances were even though she’s a licensed practical nurse and all…slacker.

“Is it true or is it not true?” Perrilloux said when asked about the drug tests. “I don’t want to say no and I don’t want to say yeah. I just want to say no comment and just move forward.”

“I’m excited to just kick the season off against Georgia Tech, to have an opportunity to just play my first game at my new school on ESPN,” he said. “… A lot of people want to see me do well, and I don’t want to let anybody down.”

To late…

Remember I still need “bail” money!!! Click here for details.

Posted in Coonass, Corn Dogs, Jackson State University, LSU Tigers, Les Miles, Ryan Perrilloux, SEC | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Idiocity of the Florida Justice System Strikes Again

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 29, 2008

People say professional athletes are treated special when the Po Po & the courts are involved and for the most part that really isn’t true when you look at the sentences of normal people verses athletes. Then there’s Florida….

Sunday was a busy day for the People’s Princess Joakim Noah. Hours after being arrested and charged with marijuana and alcohol offenses, the Bulls’ center was issued two traffic citations by University of Florida police.

According to the Gainesville Sun, campus police stopped a speeding Hummer driven by Noah and eventually issued citations for driving with a suspended license without knowledge and for not wearing a seat belt.

Why was his license suspended in the first place? Looks like the NBA has their own little Pacman.

Now if it was me, Joel or any number of people caught driving on a suspended license we would go directly to jail without passing go and collecting two hundred dollars.

Nothing like weed, beer, and a speeding Hummer to make the chicks or in your case male Gates think you’re sexy! Not very good judgments there buddy.

The stop occurred at around 7:20 p.m. Sunday, later around 1:50 a.m., Gainesville Po Po issued notices for Noah to make a June court appearance after stopping Noah for carrying an alcoholic beverage in a plastic cup on a public sidewalk and later finding marijuana in his pants pocket.

Now if all this happened to me I’m sure I would be bailed out awaiting trial. But this is the People’s Princess we’re talking about here. Noah accepted a deferred prosecution agreement Wednesday in his marijuana possession case, resulting in six months’ probation and a $200 fine.

Ouch what a hefty fine. (Note the sarcasm because I’m laying it on rather thick)

The charges will be dropped in six months if Noah meets the terms of his probation.

Noah also must pay $206 in traffic fines for two citations he received Sunday on the University of Florida campus.

Again most people are arrested and booked when caught driving with a suspended license and the fines, for the most part, are considerably higher. Maybe the judicial system thought better of placing Noah in custody since he already looks like a prison bitch without actually having been to prison. After all he might get violated; then again can a willing soul be violated?

Florida coach Billy Donovan and Eddie Munster look-a-like told the Gainesville Sun that he talked to Noah.

“He’s realized he made a mistake,” Donovan told the newspaper. “I want to see what happens with everything that went on there. In my conversation with him, he feels bad.

“The thing I’ve tried to talk to him about is there are so many young kids who look up to him, and he’s such a giving kid and he’s always given his time. He needs to turn this into a positive and being able to help young kids because he has a great opportunity to really help a lot of people. I told him to try to turn this into a positive because he’s got enough of a personality that he can do that.”

There are mistakes and there are people who think they are above the law. Am I really supposed to believe that some careless athlete who can’t find a taxi or a friend to drive him, and does other illegal activities “feels bad” about it. I’m willing to bet he is smoking weed right now.

If you would like to know where to buy hcg drops please go this diet website.

Remember I still need “bail” money!!! Click here for details.

Posted in Billy Donovan, Chicago Bulls, Florida Gators, Florida Sucks, Gator Gangsters, Joakim Noah, NBA, SEC Basketball, drugs | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Like Father Like Son?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 28, 2008

Yannick Noah the father of the People’s Transsexual Princess Chicago Bulls forward Joakim Noah, is confused (or incredibility stupid) by “all that fuss” surrounding the arrest of his son, who was charged with marijuana possession and having an open container of alcohol by the Gainesville Po Po.

“I don’t understand all that fuss for just drinking a beer on the street,” Yannick Noah said Tuesday at the French Open. “I talk to him every day on the phone, he’ll soon come over to France to see me.”

Because it is against the law. Nice example of fatherhood as we approach fathers day…..

He chose to ignore the weed fact when he made that statement. He still knew about it. Great parenting!

Pappy Noah won the title at Roland Garros in 1983. He created a sensation a few years before when he told a magazine writer he smoked marijuana. Oh wait that explains it…and the fact he’s French.

Legalities aside. I wouldn’t like it as a Bulls fan or owner, because its still smoke through the lungs, which anyway you cut it, will make you more winded on the court. Certainly doesn’t score you any role model points either.

Remember I still need “bail” money!!! Click here for details.

Posted in Chicago Bulls, DAvid Stern, NBA, dumbass, tennis | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Now is the Perfect Time to Become a Walk-On at South Carolina

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 28, 2008

Ever wanted to play “big boy” football in the SEC? Ever wanted to play for Steve God Spurrier? Ever wanted to be a part of a tradition that is steeped in disappointment, failed drug tests and felony arrests? If you said yes to any of these questions then now is the time to be a walk-on Cock. (However you will wear orange…Richland County Detention orange that is)

Now is the time to embrace your future and become a walk-on player for the South Carolina football team. Why do I say that? Because the scholarship players are dropping like flies.

The latest victim is defensive tackle Kenrick Ellis.

Ellis, who was one of the stars of USC Coach Steve God Spurrier’s 2006 recruiting class, puffed when he should have passed one to many times and was booted from the team yesterday.

“Kenrick’s gone,” Spurrier said. “He’s finished.”

Ellis is yet another Gamecock player from the state of Florida to be dismissed from the team. Ellis is also another recruit that Urban Meyer wanted to be in his top one percent of one percent recruiting class. So in a way USC is just like Florida minus the fact that Florida actually wins games.

So now is the time to become a Cock for USC. (University of Smoking Cannabis) I’m sure walk-on try outs will held soon. Just bring your enthusiasm, ability and bong. Toke one for the OBSC!!!! Go Cocks!

This could be you!!!

Remember I still need “bail” money!!! Click here for details.

Posted in Old Ball Sack Coach, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, USC, drugs | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Danica will Kick Your Ass

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 27, 2008

The most determined march Danica Patrick made during this past Sunday’s Indy500 was on foot, down pit road to confront Ryan Briscoe.

It was, unsuccessful. Just like her race.

Danica Patrick has one big ass set of brass balls or it’s that time of the month for her. Last month Danica improved her record to a blistering 1-49 by winning her first IndyCar Series in Japan. One week later she ran over a crew-man setting womanhood back about oh fifty years or so.

On Lap 171 of 200 she pulled the Andretti Green Racing No. 7 into the pits for service, leaving nine seconds later with four tires and fuel. Moments after pulling out and continuing down pit road, she made contact with Team Penske’s Briscoe, exiting after his service. Briscoe’s right-rear tire made contact with Patrick’s left-rear, snapping her suspension and sending her out of the race in 22nd place.

“I was just going down pit lane and as people pull out of their pit boxes and you’re on the outside lane, they have to wait until they can blend in,” Patrick said. “From what I could tell, it was pretty obvious what happened. What are you going to do?”

“It confirmed my thoughts. We were both out there trying to win the Indy 500 today, and when it’s time to go, we have to go,” said Briscoe, who finished 23rd. “But from what I can see, there was still plenty of room on the right side for her to get around and there are people pointing fingers, but that’s not the way we are.”

“We both have a brake pedal in our cars, and from what I can tell, there was still plenty of room for her to get around me. I was trying to get around [Dan] Wheldon [in the stall ahead], and I was staying in the middle lane. I got ran up in the back, and it’s a shame.”

After the contact, Patrick pulled to a stop at the end of the pit lane, visibly pissed-off. She was pushed back to her pit, where she got out and purposefully started walking like a tele-tubby down the lane, yanked off her gloves and looked ready for a second collision with Briscoe – this time between her fist and his face. An Indy Racing League security officer intercepted her and guided her over the pit wall before any confrontation.

“Probably best I didn’t get down there anyway,” Patrick said.

On Pole Day, Patrick held the provisional pole early but was passed as the qualifying order continued and she eventually settled into fifth. Yet she never ventured out for another qualifying attempt, saying there was nothing more in her Dallara-Honda.

“It’s not from a lack of trying, given enough time we would have figured it out, but how long is that time — was it one more run, was it another day? What was it going to be?” she said then. “I think it was pretty apparent through the speeds that Penske and Ganassi found something that worked and found something that made their cars really fast, and we didn’t.”

“The unfortunate thing is we worked our butts off this month,” Patrick said. “We were creeping forward slowly, but surely.”

The week after, Patrick was featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated for the second time in her career, and in a story she talked about discovering just months earlier that her 2005 car had more fuel left than she thought she had during the race. She was told to run a fuel-conservation strategy at the end of that 500, falling short in a race won by Wheldon.

Not going for the win that day, she said in the story, was the biggest regret of her life and that she would have gone for it had she known about the extra fuel.

Her team owner at the time, Bobby Rahal, took exception in Saturday’s editions of the Indianapolis Star.

“The inference is that we prevented her from winning, which is … completely insulting,” Rahal said. “As [then-engineer Ray Leto] will tell you, there was a lot of discussion about where we were on fuel and what was the risk. Ultimately, my decision was made [to conserve] based on the fact that if we had pitted [for fuel], we were going to finish 13th. If we had run out on the last lap, we would have finished 13th.”

Did Patrick want to say something to Briscoe?

“We will see if he can find me first,”

Remember I still need “bail” money!!! Click here for details.

Posted in Crazy Women, Cry Baby, Danica Patrick, Indy Car | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

Toke it on up Noah

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 27, 2008

The Gainesville Po Po arrested Joakim “I’m Going to Play for France in the Olympics” Noah with possession of the sweet stinky weed and getting his drink on.

An athlete who played in Florida in trouble with the law? I can’t believe it. Then again I would smoke weed too if I had to look at that mug in the mirror everyday….. Have you seen the suits this clown wears? Only a stoner would think they look good. He sucks anyway.

Gainesville police spokesman Sgt. Rick Roberts says Noah was arrested around 1:50 a.m. Sunday after an officer spotted him on a sidewalk holding a plastic cup containing an amber drink, a violation of city law. During a search at the station, officers found marijuana in his pocket which he was to stupid to dump before hand.

Noah was released after signing a notice to appear before a judge — standard procedure for such offenses. He could face up to 6 months in jail and a $500 fine for the Mary Jane charge.

Bulls spokesman Tim Hallam said general manager John Paxson “did express to Joakim his disappointment in his actions this weekend” and added: “Until we gather further information on this situation, we won’t be making any further comment.” And then added “Besides everyone knows Josh Howard is a toker and he’s man…we were all umm….worried about Noah’s ‘manhood’. And quite frankly so was his father.”

Click to enlarge

Remember I still need “bail” money!!! Click here for details.

Posted in Chicago Bulls, Crime & Punishment, Florida Gators, Florida Sucks, Joakim Noah, Little Bitch, Marijuana, NBA, drugs | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Remember What This Day is Truly About

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 26, 2008

Fallen, but not forgotten
Taken, but not forsaken
We still hold our flag
With out a single scratch
Or looking like a tattered rag

Might be gone, remembered in song
Forever brave, all the lives you save
All our veterans who have passed
Who served in any branch
Given a proper burial, after their mass

This day is for us to remember
Those brave men and women
Who are military members
And who fight evil intentions, and sin

Posted in Sports | 1 Comment »

Mindy McCready Will Bypass the Jerry Springer Show

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 23, 2008

County singer, ex-Roger Clemens side skank and former jailbird, Mindy McCready, will not be appearing on the Springer Show to dish dirt about her torrid love affair with Clemens. I know, I know many of you are heartbroken over this. I mean how many times can some skank confront her lovers wife on the Springer Show?

Answer: Not enough. :)

With documentary filming all but finished, fans will soon be able to see the uncensored version of country singer Mindy McCready. The no-holds-barred look into McCready’s life will include what the film’s producer calls “her side of the Roger Clemens story.”

Clemens is no longer “screaming at the top of his lungs” how innocent he is, and what a liar that Brian McNamee is. Gee, I wonder why?

Since the breaking of the story between her and Clemens (yours truly was one of the first to ridicule Clemens “blog” about it) her documentary has suddenly gone from being titled “Another Washed-Up Country Singer” to “Fallen Angel” however before it’s said and done it could be titled “Hells Yeah I Slept with the Rocket.”

“She talks about everybody, what happened with Roger,” Blake Freeman, the “Fallen Angel” producer, told the Daily News. “July is the current target date for release.”

One should note that before the story about her and Clemens broke this piece of white trash mania artistic view of the struggles that exist within the country music industry was set to be shown on the CMT Channel sometime between two and three o’clock in the morning right before the ever popular “Thigh Master” info-commercial.

McCready, meanwhile, is re-launching her career after a string of recent personal setbacks, including a six-month stint in jail last year due to a probation violation. In addition to the documentary, there is a new album. She offers fans a free song, “I’m Still Here,” which she wrote in jail. (snicker)

In the video below McCready is dressed in a low-cut black top and with her blond hair pulled back and looking like a drag queen, McCready giggles like a teenager who just touched David Cook thanks her fans for their support in the clip. As for the recent onslaught of coverage, McCready dodges discussing her Rocket ties.

“I know that you’re reading crazy stuff in the papers right now. The headlines are truly nuts and I’m living it,” McCready says. “I would love to say so many things, but mostly I would like to say it to you in song.”

Plus she looks rather chunky as well….

Remember I still need “bail” money!!! Click here for details.

Posted in MLB, Mindy McCready, Roger Clemens, Roids, cheaters, steroids | Tagged: , , , , , | 3 Comments »