Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

Ryan Perrilloux’s never-ending troubles are once and for all over for LSU. About time Leslie!

Perrilloux was one of the most sought-after quarterback prospects in the country coming out of high school however his off the field escapades which gives me something to write about finally caught up with him. Les “Big Hat Little Penis” Miles booted the “troubled” duel threat quarterback off the team yesterday after failing a drug test. By “troubled” I mean a complete moron.

Wow Miles actually grew a set……He’s a man, He’s 40!!! Perrilloux is no man, he’ll be at La Tech in no time!!

Perrilloux said he hopes to transfer to a member of the former Division I-AA, where he could have two seasons of eligibility left. Besides the smaller schools party harder than the larger ones. Ask Appalachian State about that.

“Perrilloux didn’t fulfill his obligation as an LSU student-athlete,” Miles said in a statement. “Ryan was given every opportunity to be a part of this football team.”

Perrilloux’s lawyer, Nathan Fisher, declined to comment Friday. Reached at her home in LaPlace, Perrilloux’s mother, Bobbie Breaux, said she and her son preferred not to discuss the matter publicly at this time but may do so later after he runs through his stash.

Photo courtesy of the The Football Diet

Perrilloux was suspended last summer and during recent spring drills. He was on the fringe of a counterfeiting investigation and was caught trying to enter a Baton Rouge casino with false identification. He also was involved in a nightclub fight in November, causing him to miss a game at Alabama. He was cleared of wrongdoing.

Miles again suspended Perrilloux in mid-February after he missed a team meeting, skipped some classes and was late for conditioning workouts and now a failed drugs test. Hey Leslie try the police ride-a-long punishment next time.

Maybe he’ll be in the supplemental draft. The Bengals would probably beat Jerry Jones to the pick, seeing as how they drafted another kid with problems which reared its ugly head just this week, Ahmad Brooks.

How difficult is it to stay out of trouble? Every Athletic Department has one or two or ten who just can’t seem to help themselves. A message to all scholarship athletes….you have entered into a lease agreement which offers you a free education in return for playing a game as well as STAYING OUT OF TROUBLE!!!!!

Don’t worry Ryan, ‘Bama or South Carolina will take you in a heartbeat, neither King Liar nor The Ole Ball (sac) Coach cares so long as you’re not actually in prison.

Photo courtesy of the funny as shit Losers With Socks.