Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

Yankee fans I know that’s it driving you crazy that Boston is rocking the top of the AL East while your Scum-sucking Yankees are next to last, but is murdering a Red Sox fan going to help you win? No, no it won’t…

Meet Ivonne Hernandez. This lovely piece of Yankee trash ran down a man named Matthew Beaudoin in her car after a Red Sox-Yankees argument in a bar. This bitch never hit her brakes as she accelerated toward the small group he was in.

Don’t you just love friendly rivalries? People are taking the new GTA IV way too seriously. Judging from her picture, I would have thought she was the one that got ran over by the car…but in her defense, that sure is a snazzy Breathe Right strip.

“She never braked, and she accelerated at a high speed for about 200 feet. She went directly at this group of people,” prosecutor Susan Morrell said.

“Mary Kay” Hernandez was ordered held without bail after being arraigned Monday in Nashua District Court. The charges, including aggravated drunken driving, are felonies, so Hernandez could not enter a plea. Which being a Yankees fan would have been innocent because surely she would have misremembered the details.

What I would like to know why this is being charged as second degree murder when it should be first degree premeditated and she gunned the car right at them. However it wasn’t planned in advance nor premeditated. This was a drunk who obviously went way too far. Plus, it’s easier to get the 2nd degree murder conviction. Damn I answered my own question there, I’m brilliant!

Authorities won’t describe the argument beforehand in Slade’s Food & Spirits, but witnesses said it heated up when Hernandez identified herself as a New York Yankees whore. Nashua, 45 miles northwest of Boston, is Red Sox country.

Bartender Tanya Moran said the argument spilled outside, and at least one person in a group that included Beaudoin began chanting “Yankees suck!” when they saw a Yankees sticker on Hernandez’s car.

So instead of facing the truth Hernandez gunned her car and struck Beaudoin and his friend Maria Hughes, 21. Beaudoin’s sister, Faith Beaudoin, said Hughes had only minor injuries because her brother shielded her. Beaudoin died of massive head trauma at a hospital, Morrell said.

“Mary Kay” Hernandez was arrested at the scene. She acknowledged she had been drinking and refused to take a breath-alcohol test, said Morrell, a senior assistant attorney general. Hernandez said she had been in an argument with the group.

“She indicated to police that she wanted to scare this group of people. She thought they would get out of the way,” Morrell said.

Nice…alcohol and stupidly don’t mix but throw in the Yankee fan factor & you have yourself a drunken corporate whore.

Faith Beaudoin said her brother, who lived in Nashua, was a 1997 graduate of Nashua High School who worked dealing poker at Sharky’s Poker Room in Manchester and Nashua. She said his organs, including his heart, liver and kidneys, were donated in hopes of saving other people’s lives.

“He was always helping people when he was alive, and he’s still saving lives,” she said, choking back tears.

In all seriousness now I pray for the victim and their family.

Anyone that parrots the “typical Yankee fan” line or anything similar is a complete idiot. I mean, I’m a massive Sox fan, but there’s no place for stupidity like that.

I also have some questions.

1. Why would any guy in his right mind follow a woman who looks like THAT out of a bar?
2. Do bars in Nashua not have any semblance of security (or even the bartender) to diffuse the situation before someone gets killed???????
3. How desperate will Joel and I be for stories get until football season starts?
4. Why the hell was that Yankee skank even at a Red Sox bar?