Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

The Knicks are now being shown in “3D” - Dolan, Donnie and D’Antoni, who is taking over a team that hasn’t produced a winning season in seven years and has chewed up and spit out coaches with more impressive résumés. (See: Wilkens, Lenny; and Brown, Larry.)

You can make Jesus Christ himself the coach of the Knicks. It still wouldn’t be good enough for the masses of whiny New Yorkers.

Mike D’Antoni reportedly told confidants that he was hoping to end up coaching the Chicago Bulls, while Donnie Walsh was telling Mark Jackson that he was the favorite to succeed Isiah Thomas in New York.

Of course neither happened.

Mike D’Antoni, according to his agent, didn’t like the criticism he received from the Suns’ fans during this year’s playoffs. If he doesn’t like the sound of the word “boo”, he might just want to consider having his ear canals permanently plugged. Welcome to New York, Coach.

Does he get to bring Steve Nash and Amare Stadamire with him? Knicks are still gonna suck…

As Mike D’Antoni is set to be introduced as the Knicks’ new coach, Bulls owner Jerry Reinsdorf told the Chicago Tribune that the former Suns coach “misled” him in his talks with Chicago, saying he didn’t want to coach the Knicks.

Reinsdorf = scorned ex girlfriend.

“I’m disappointed in him,” Reinsdorf told the Tribune. “I don’t know what else we could’ve done. He chose to go to New York knowing there was a good chance we would make him an offer. If he had really wanted to be in Chicago, he would’ve waited. Instead, he misled us. It’s not the end of the world, but it is somewhat rude.”

Is Reinsdorf really whining about being “misled?” It’s a BUSINESS. OF COURSE he misled you. It’s called negotiating. Ridiculous.

“He said nothing had to be done over the weekend. I also said if this proceeds to where we want to make an offer, we don’t deal with coach’s agents. He said that’s not a problem and that money wasn’t the most important thing anyway. He said he wanted a job where he was going to be happiest. He said he didn’t want to coach the Knicks.”

Jerry Reinsdorf since he joined Jenny Craig

Typical of Reinsdorf to deflect the blame onto others. He and GM John Paxson always find somebody else to blame for their own lack of success when it comes upgrading the team and their personnel. They overpay for Ben Wallace (one of the worst free agent signings of the last 3 seasons), miss out on the Pau Gasol and KG fire sales, and now this. Too bad Scott Skiles isn’t around to take the fall for this latest bungle.

Somewhere in this mess is Mark Jackson.

Jackson was so confident that he began reaching out to prospective coaches to assemble his staff and was even debating whether to move back to northern New Jersey or live near the Knicks’ training facility in Greenburgh in Westchester County.

At least one former Knicks player called Jackson last week to congratulate him and to ask him when the official announcement was coming. Six days later, D’Antoni accepted the position.

“I was obviously interested in that job, but they went in another way,” Jackson said during ABC’s telecast of Saturday’s Celtics-Cavaliers playoff game. “I wish them nothing but the best as I look at other opportunities.”

The real winner here is the Chicago Bulls. While D’Antoni is a good coach, he never showed the ability to get Phoenix from Point B to Point C, and the Suns are far more talented than the Knicks.

Walsh consulted with Dolan regarding the hiring of D’Antoni, who seemed to fit the Dolan profile: an expensive big name. Wilkens and Brown also received lucrative deals, only to survive 81 and 82 games, respectively, and get publicly humiliated along the way.