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A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Yankees Fans Sniff the “Magical” Underwear of Jason Giambi…Ewww

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 18, 2008

See this guy to the left? His name is Matt and he is a contestant on Hell’s Kitchen. The best non-sports show on television. Matt is also a little whining bitch as well as being an admitted Metrosexual Yankees fan. Now I see why he’s a Yankees fan…keep reading you’ll catch on.

Yankee fans you should be disgraced (worse than normal) and extremely embarrassed by how the Yankees are “turning” things around. Psssttttt…you’re still in last place.

Jason Giambi admitted Friday that wears a gold lamé thong with a flame-line waistband when he’s trying to get out of a hitting slump under his pinstriped pants & this is what is worse…others are wearing the same pair as well.

It works every time,” Giambi said after his secret was outed on Portfolio.com.

He better wear a teddy and thigh highs to match with his slump!

Derek Jeter agreed that Giambi’s thong works, although “it’s so uncomfortable running around the bases.”

“I had it over my shorts and stuff,” he said. “I was 0-for-32 and I hit a homer on the first pitch. That’s the only time I’ve ever worn it.”

Johnny “I Once was Good but Suck Since Becoming a Traitor & Joining the Yankees” Damon also admitted donning the golden panties “probably three times.”

“I may need to wear it again soon,” said Damon, who is batting a mediocre .255.

What is the secret of Giambi’s golden thong, other than being Pride.Power.Panties?

“You’re not worrying about your hands or your balance at the plate,” Damon said. “You’re worried about the uncomfortable feeling you’re receiving.”

He also went to say it makes him feel a “sexy bitch.”

In the earlier interview with Portfolio.com, Giambi claimed he also hung his thong in the lockers of teammates Bernie Williams, Robin Ventura and Robinson Cano when they had trouble generating runs.

“I only put it on when I’m desperate to get out of a big slump,” Giambi said.

Giambi – whose 2008 salary, $23.4 million, is the second highest in the majors – is struggling. He’s hitting .181 with 7 homers and just 20 RBI.

“Whoever is on slumps, puts it on,” catcher Jorge Posada admitted. “I don’t know if it works. I haven’t worn it yet. A lot of players have worn it,” but he didn’t name names. Asked if the thong got washed between wearings, he gave a cringe-worthy answer. “Ask Jason,” said Posada. “Jason is a little strange.”

Yankee outfielder Bobby Abreu recoiled and threw his arms up in the air when a reporter waved a variation of Giambi’s shiny underwear in his face.

“I don’t know anything about that,” Abreu insisted, though his bulging eyes said otherwise.

Lovely. You know that sappy music that is played during the awesome speech Lou Gehrig made? They need to replace the music with “The Thong Song” by Sisqo.

Since the thong hasn’t yet stopped his slump (0.181 batting average), Giambi has now decided to wear the matching bra top, except he will have to wait for Derek Jeter to be done with it first.

Thanks a lot Yankees, now I can’t even look at Giambi without thinking of him in a thong. Not the mental picture I wanted. Must replace image…think….Jessica Alba, Jessica Alba, Jessica Alba.

Johnny Damon looked very pleased after he is given his own

thong. Fly that Metrosexual Freak Flag you traitor!

One Response to “Yankees Fans Sniff the “Magical” Underwear of Jason Giambi…Ewww”

  1. zigzag said

    Muscle Marys.

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