Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for June, 2008

Just Breaking!! Willie Andews Arrested Again! Let’s all Hope he’s not Anyones Hero

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 30, 2008

Patriots defensive back Willie Andrews seems like a nice enough guy. If you disregard that little possession of marijuana with intent to distribute charge. That was when the Po Po found about half-pound of marijuana during a car stop two days after the Super Bowl.

After losing that game I could understand the need to get high.

So now he’s cool. Right? Well…yeah if you’re not his girlfriend. You see Andrews was arrested this morning for allegedly holding a handgun to his girlfriend’s head during an argument.

Mansfield police said the 23-year-old victim told them she and Andrews had been arguing, allegedly over him cheating on her (what a Patriot cheat? never…), when he pulled out a Glock .45-caliber handgun and held it to her temple at about 1:40 a.m. today.

Andrews, 24, was arrested at his apartment on Connors Avenue, Mansfield, at about 4:30 a.m. today, authorities said.

Andrews allegedly told police he did not have a gun, but the strangest thing happened. The said weapon was recovered near a Dumpster at his apartment complex, prosecutors and Po Po said.

He was arraigned at Attleboro District Court this afternoon on charges of assault with a dangerous weapon and unlawful possession of a firearm without a Firearm Identification Card.

Andrews was held without bail pending a dangerousness hearing Thursday, according to Bristol County District Attorney’s office.

Don’t you think Willie seems like a nice boy? Anyone care to run a criminal background check on him to see what else we find? :)

Posted in Crime & Punishment, NFL Football, New England Patriots, Willie Andrews, cheaters, classless | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Ya Gotta Love Twins

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 30, 2008

I’m not saying…but I’m just saying…think about it. Yes the flipping TV cable is out however I still have Roadrunner…strange.

Posted in NBA, Robin Lopez, Sideshow Bob, twins | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Someone Give Kevin Love a Cheesy-Doodle!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 30, 2008

The Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society of Gentleman is always a bright spot during the NBA draft.

The past drat was no exception. In the video you’ll see 9:00 minutes of unbridled raw emotion second only Tonya Harding’s commentary that is featured on “The Smoking Gun Presents World’s Dumbest Criminals” which airs 9:00 EST on TruTV. The show is hilarious you should check it out sometimes.

Around 3:43 of the video Kevin Love drops a Cheesy-Doodle line. It’s classic. I know the video is long but let’s face it most of you are at work killing time anyway. ;)

Posted in Cheese Doodles, ESPN, Kevin Love, NBA, NBA Draft, Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society of Gentleman, TruTV | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Debunking the Myth that all ESPN Broadcasting Personalities are Intelligent (& Thoughtful)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 30, 2008

There are a couple of myths I would like to debunk:

  • Contrary to popular belief the hands of a child is not a safe place to store a gun
  • Contrary to popular belief you will not die from Pop-Rocks and Coca-Cola
  • Contrary to popular belief people who are broadcasters for ESPN are intelligent

You might remember not to long ago I posted a story about Jemele Hill and some comments she published in an ESPN article stating:

“Rooting for the Celtics is like saying Hitler was a victim. It’s like hoping Gorbachev would get to the blinking red button before Reagan.”

Of course those comments were quickly taken off the website and Hill was suspended blah blah blah.

The lastest ESPN blunder wasn’t in the form of print but spoken by Bonnie Bernstein who graduated magna cum laude from the University of Maryland’s prestigious Merrill College of Journalism.

While being a guest on Mike and Mike in the Morning last Wednesday Bernstein made a stranger than fiction comparison between American high school basketball players and Palestinian suicide bombers.

Below is a transcript:

It’s sort of like, you know, and this isn’t — I’m prefacing this by saying this is in no way an analogy to sports because I know we live in a hypersensitive society — but I remember a while ago I was reading an article in the New York Times about Palestinian suicide bombers and I just remember being struck by the notion that from the point of birth, people in Palestine are taught to think that dying in the name of God is a good thing.

They grow up wanting to be suicide bombers. So bringing it back to sports — and again, I’m not making the comparison or the analogy — if a young talented basketball player is being told at an early age that they are destined, it is a good thing to focus on basketball and not worry about what’s going on in the classroom, why are any kids going to be worried about what’s going on in the classroom?

Why she couldn’t just say the last three & half lines and leave at that is beyond me. I think she knew those remarks would offend people and guess what…they did.

Ray Hanania of the National Arab-American Journalists Association sent this statement to the Mike and Mike show:

I think it was very inappropriate for Bonnie to use that racial stereotype of Palestinians as an example to back up her comments that NBA hopefuls “are programmed” to make it in the NBA the way Palestinian children are “programmed” to become suicide bombers …

I don’t need to explain that suicide bombers are not a race or ethnicity, or that there are 7 million Palestinians and have been only 50 suicide bombers over the past 15 years.

It’s clear that Hanania is correct that Bernstein made an inappropriate comparison. In my opinion, Bernstein knew that the comparison she was about to make was inappropriate, which is why the first line of her comments is “I’m not making the comparison,” even though that was exactly what she was doing.

I think it’s odd that Bernstein would go on and make an analogy even as she said she realized that people might be offended by it. Of course ESPN made her apologize.

ESPN has posted the audio of the apology:

“Hi, this is Bonnie Bernstein, and I’d just like to take a minute to apologize for making a connection this morning on Mike and Mike between Palestinians and the adults who influence the thinking of many young NBA prospects. I was a student athlete who was lucky enough to have part of my college expenses paid for by a scholarship, and so I’ve always embraced the importance of higher education.

That said, it upsets me greatly — as I think you can tell, if you heard the interview — when I hear about adults telling impressionable kids, ‘Don’t worry about school, your future is in the NBA.’ These stories just lend credence to the notion one is often a product of his environment, and while I emphasized that twice during our discussion, in hindsight I realize it was simply a mistake to bring Palestine into the discussion at all, and for that, I apologize again.

Lesson learned: Religion and politics have no place on public airwaves at a sports network. That’s definitely a credo I will live by from this point forward. Thanks and have a great day.”

Hmm…that apology sounds false, and it candy-coats over what Bernstein said plus it creates this false impression that what Bernstein did wrong is simply to discuss religion and politics. Bonnie Bernstein should have known that religion and politics have no place on a sports network.

What I find disturbing is that Bernstein was stupid enough to take a political matter like the Palestinian suicide bombers and use it so superficially.

I’ll try to explain. When I started this blog I did so as a hobby only. It’s still a hobby today albeit it can be frustrating at times. I get up early every morning to write before I venture out into the real world to my real job that I admit love. I’m not complaining about getting up early in the morning either. However, if the opportunity were to ever arise where I had a shot at writing for ESPN or being a broadcaster for ESPN full-time, I would hand over the reigns to this blog in a heartbeat.

I know I’ll never have that opportunity but I also know I have enough common sense not to make or print such statements as Imus, Jemele Hill or Bonnie Bernstein have recently done. I complain about idiot athletes all the time. Well, guess what. The landscape of idiot sports writers and/or commentators seems to be growing exponentially.

So if I was given the opportunity that these and others in the sports media community were given, you can bet your sweet ass I would learn to choose my words a little more carefully.

Posted in ESPN, Evil Empire, Imus, Jemele Hill, dumbass | Tagged: , , , , | 7 Comments »

Good Lord Wildcat Fans, Cool Your Jets

Posted by Joel on June 29, 2008

When I wrote this article, I knew it would get a reaction. NEVER did I think it would get this type of reaction, although similar posts about Kentucky basketball have gotten much more traffic than anything else. With that said, instead of responding to every comment, I will post this and let the chips fall where they may…

Regarding my name and avatar, my real name is Joel. I chose to post under my own name because I am my own person. I understand why someone would want to have a different username, but not me. Nothing worng with it in my opinion, but that is how I roll. I chose to use The Pyramid Arena in Memphis because I am a proud native Memphian. I am also proud to be from the great state of Tennessee. Even though I attended Tennessee State University in Nashville (after deciding not to attend Columbia University, Brown University, Morehouse college, or the University of North Carolina, all offering academic scholarships while I was in high school), I still support all things Volunteer and all things regarding Memphis Tiger basketball. Equally, on this site, I have personally made fun of both. Examples of me making fun of Tiger basketball can be found here, here, and here. I do live and die Memphis Tiger basketball, despite the recent heartbreak of the title game and lack of national titles (unlike Kentucky). A few of my favorite posts of satire of Tennessee can be found here, here, and here. There have been other things that we have touched upon, including West Virginia football, Alabama, and the Miami Dolphins during their “run” to futility. Check out the “April Fool’s Day” page .The original and still current mantra of this blog is “A Sports Blog On Why ALL Teams Suck”. It just so happened that I did one on Kentucky, and things went bat shit. Of course, I was hoping people to understand sarcasm but I guess I expected too much.

First off, I do actually work during the day and I am not around a computer until I get home. So if you are pissy about anything I have written, cool it until later in the evening. I am not some snot nosed college kid or an unemployed bum watching Judge Judy and ESPN First Take all day.

Second, the only mistake I made (I feel) is making the title “Wanna be an NBA Player???” It was intended to sarcastically point out that Kentucky hasn’t had an NBA lottery player in a long time and a first round player drafted in a few years. That is a fact, as confirmed by John Clay of the Lexington Herald Ledger (he even called my work crude. I feel honored). But some of you Kentucky fans pointed out how Rajon Rondo just won an NBA championship with Boston and Tayshaun Prince has just been named to the Olympic team. Kudos. The fact of the matter is that Rondo was on a great team and while point guard is an important position, Paul Pierce handled the ball more than any other Celtic during the title run. Thomas the Terrible could have run point guard and the Celtics were still going to win it all. As for Prince, while he has been a valued member of the Pistons, there is no way I would have picked him over Tyson Chandler, Amare Stoudamire, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, or even Paul Pierce. I am not the only one of this opinion.

Here is the bigger issue though: What is the real reason for the swarm of reaction??? Is it because the fanbase of Kentucky basketball is that fragile??? Or, did the truth really hurt??? Let’s look at these two questions.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Adolph Rupp, All SEC Teams Beware!!, Ass Whipping, Billy Clyde, Billy Gillispie, College Basketball, Cry Baby, ESPN, Fights, Kentucky Wildcats, NCAA, SEC, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches, Sports, alcoholics, ass chewing, basketball, boo birds, boosters, cat killer, classless, crazy, satire | Tagged: , | 20 Comments »

I Know She’s Bipolar but….Damn

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 29, 2008

This is what can happen to you if you’re bipolar and suddenly stop taking your meds. It starts with vulgarity and ends with “I’m pressing charges!” So if you have little ones near by don’t play the video.

Posted in Bipolar, Crazy Women, crazy | Tagged: , , | 7 Comments »


Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 29, 2008

This is the face of the SEC!

Sad news to report especially if you’re a Georgia fan.

Uga VI, the beloved University of Georgia mascot, has died from heart failure in Savannah.

The bulldog’s owner, Frank Seiler, said the he had the best winning record of any mascot in the school’s history.

Seiler said he noticed Uga who was a nine-year-old English Bulldog, was breathing heavily last night. He passed away soon afterward.

Uga will be buried in a vault in the Southwest corner of Sanford Stadium with his predecessors. Private ceremonies are expected early next week.

Some might remember that Uga VI became UGA’s mascot in 1999. He was the son of Uga V, the only college mascot to land on the cover of Sports Illustrated.

We here at Ymswwc are saddened by the news. It’s a shame when an animal passes especially when it’s one that has symbolized all that is positive about the SEC, and one who brought joy to so many people.

Posted in Georgia Bulldogs, Mascots, SEC, SEC Football, Uga | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

A Closer Look at the Girlfriend of Marcus Vick

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 27, 2008

It seems that “model” girlfriend that was arrested with Marcus Vick isn’t all that and bag of chips. Who would have thunk it?

When Marcus Vick, the brother with lesser importance of Michael Vick, was arrested and charged with being an idiot, driving under the influence and eluding police. His girlfriend Delicia Cordon was charged with being drunk in public and being with an idiot.

Apparently Cordon has been making some rounds with the dolphins. The web site of the Miami-Dade County Clerk’s Office states that Cordon filed a lawsuit against Ronnie Brown, although that suit was dismissed when Cordon failed to show up for a hearing this month.

The web site says that Cordon was evicted from a friend’s condo. She didn’t bother paying rent for three months. The monthly rent was $1,500 and the 2 bedroom condo belonged to a NFL player.

“She gave a series of bad checks that the bank could ‘not locate the accounts’. Delicia also provided a number of checks with insufficient funds that could not be collected. Cordon also offered money transfers that never took place and faked Fedex mailings that never arrived. Cordon provided excuse after excuse and ‘will pay you tomorrow’ and ‘feed the poor trip’ stories to justify all the ‘trouble’ with her bad checks and her ‘bad’ situation while living the big life. She said that she was doing some new shoots and will have to money very soon.

In addition the credit report for Delicia Cordon came back with a social security alert. She has been EVICTED before and has a terrible Credit History.

Cordon presented herself as a famous ‘actress/ model’ and presents herself as a very naive and sweet individual always very apologetic.

The eviction came after ‘Final Judgment for Removal of Tenant’ was entered by Judge Darrin P. Gayles on January 27, 2007 in Miami, Florida for non payment of rent. Court Case # 08-1667 cc 34 (01). The judge gave Cordon the final opportunity to pay all the past due rent and she failed to pay the rent to the judge (three months total rent of $4,500). She was then served by the Sheriff and given 24 hour to leave the premises and when she failed to vacate the condo, she was evicted by the Sheriff few days later.”

All of a sudden Christie Prody, OJ’s main squeeze (pun very much intended) looks good doesn’t she? Huh huh huh?

Only in Florida can you find an eclectic bunch of women and moronic athletes.

Posted in Christie Prody, Crime & Punishment, DUI, Delicia Cordon, Florida Sucks, classless, dumbass, marcus vick, miami dolphins | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Wanna Be An NBA Player??? Here Is NOT Where To Play

Posted by Joel on June 27, 2008

I finally get some time to put up a post and it just so happens to be right after the 1st round of the NBA Draft . Then something came over me: Our favorite overrated, elitist, ass backwards, and drunken coached team from the SEC didn’t have a player drafted in the 1st round. This makes the second year in a row that a Kentucky player was not drafted in the 1st round, and continues the 11 year streak since a Wildcat player was picked in the lottery.

Oh don’t worry Wildcat fan. I know where to place the blame. It was “10 Loss” Tubby’s fault. He was too busy making sure he ran a clean program, free of racism (unlike the arena named after the “great” Rupp), and made sure that he didn’t hit the Wild Turkey bottle and try to drive home from the bar. He just simply didn’t have time to recruit players who would be developed into NBA talent.

Leave it to Billy Clyde Gilispie to recruit like a mother. He has already scored top 10 talent of all ages. He will take Kentucky back to single digit losses in just a few short years, as soon as his 8th grade recruits start arriving to Lexington. Too bad he said he was gonna stop recruiting young kids. Rumor is that he had planned to recruit Chicago next week while school is out for the summer. R. Kelly was gonna show him where all the hot spots were to get top talent, before Mr. Kelly got some talent of his own. Of course, knowing Billy Clyde’s track record, he’ll be gone quicker than you can say “Nick Saban”. It’s all good anyway, the best coach in the state left you back in the 90′s and now coaches your in-state rival.

So, for all of the Derrick Jasper’s, Scotty Hopson’s, and (insert latest player’s name to leave the Kentucky program here) of the world, things will be ok. You will make it to the NBA Draft Lottery, because you never put on the Wildcat uniform.

Let’s hear Tim Brando spin another year of Kentucky mediocrity…

Posted in Adolph Rupp, All SEC Teams Beware!!, Billy Clyde, Billy Gillispie, College Basketball, Cry Baby, DUI, Dead Drunk, ESPN, Evil Empire, Kentucky Wildcats, Liar, Louisville, Louisville Cardinals, NBA, NCAA, SEC, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches, Sports, alcoholics, bad drivers, basketball, boosters, cat killer, draft pick, drunk, satire | Tagged: , , , | 110 Comments »

Don’t You Dare Bother Shawn Chacon When he’s Eating

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 26, 2008

So there he was just minding his own business and eating his dinner in the dining room before the game against the Texas Rangers. Shawn Chacon wasn’t bothering anyone but the general manager Ed Wade decided to make a critical mistake.

“I sat down to eat and Ed Wade came to me and very sternly said, ‘You need to come with me to the office,’” Chacon said. “I said, ‘For what?’ I said, ‘I don’t want to go to the office with you and Cooper.’ And I said, ‘You can tell me whatever you got to tell me right here.’ He’s like, ‘Oh, you want me to tell you right here?’ And I said, ‘Yeah.’ I’m not yelling. I’m calm.”

This is where things go downhill.

“He started yelling and cussing,” Chacon said of Wade, according to a story on the Chronicle’s Web site. “I’m sitting there and I said to him very calmly, ‘Ed, you need to stop yelling at me.’ Then I stood up and said, ‘You better stop yelling at me.’ I stood up. He continued and was basically yelling.”

Chacon claims that after Wade told him he needed to “look in the mirror,” it got worse.

“So at that point I lost my cool and I grabbed him by the neck and threw him to the ground. I jumped on top of him,” he said. “Words were exchanged.”

Shawn has been suspended indefinitely by the team. and Ed Wade must be a distant cousin of P.J. Carlesimo because that little grab was by the neck with shades of Latrell Spreewell.

I know when I have a full slab of ribs and some corn, I hate to be bothered. I once smacked a grown man in the mouth for interrupting me while I was enjoying my Coldstone Ice cream.

Lance Berkman, who said he did not see the incident, was one of the few players who agreed to talk about it.

“Obviously it’s something that nobody in here is thrilled that it happened,” he said. “But this is a sport of high emotion and sometimes things happen that organizations wish wouldn’t and that’s why there’s vehicles like suspending the players to deal with those situations.”

Hmmm maybe Chacon should tell the media he was eating a snickers bar or something and cash in on the endorsement, commercial, etc. You know he won’t be pitching again. First he blows, second beating up a GM is usually a no no.

Wade did confirm that Chacon’s agent called and requested a trade earlier this week but said “that has nothing to do with the events of today.”

Chacon is concerned that he might not pitch in the majors again. Gee…I wonder why.

“Maybe it shouldn’t have happened,” Chacon said. “But when you do those things and you’re yelling at somebody and you’re cussing you better know what type of person you’re dealing with. If there’s any regret, I just wish they had just let me alone. I wish they had left me alone.”

Chacon signed a $2 million, one-year contract with Houston in February after spending 2007 with Pittsburgh. He split time as a starter and a reliever there and was 5-4 with a 3.94 ERA and one save in 64 appearances with the Pirates.

When asked if he was concerned about his personality or character when Chacon was signed, Wade opted to discuss his play instead.

“I’d hoped he pitched better for us,” Wade said. “That’s the bottom line. We took him out of the rotation on Sunday basically on merit. He’d had 10 starts since late April, and the last three starts, four starts weren’t very good. So we hoped that he would help us in the bullpen, and unfortunately we’re at a point right now when we think it’s in our best interest to move forward.”

Why should he be disgruntled about being bumped for the rotation. He should have been grateful the Astros gave him a shot at the rotation in the first place because the Pirates wouldn’t keep him in their rotation. And if a team as bad as the Pirates were last year to not have he as a starter (despite the organization wise decision to give their youngsters over below average veterans) he should be fortunate to start in a contenders rotation, granted Houston has nothing behind Oswalt this year.

You don’t yell and cuss at a grown man, an employee no less. That’s just juvenile and very unprofessional. If Chacon’s version is accurate then Astro’s owners should discipline Wade. However, if your boss, the person who employs you and pays your salary (2 mil. no less) tells you they want to see you in their office, you DO NOT respond, “for what?” and “I don’t want to.” Say “Yes sir”, “Give me a minute”, or even “let me finish eating and I’ll be right there”. Say something, but saying “for what?” is just asking to get your butt chewed.

Posted in Crime & Punishment, Ed Wade, Houston Astros, Latrell Sprewell, Major League Baseball, Shawn Chacon | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »