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Archive for June 25th, 2008

The Tide is High

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 25, 2008

Little Saint Nicky is having a bad off-season at Alabama.

In February Saban said:

“I’ve said enough is enough and we’re trying to fix it.”

Now with the arrests totaling ten Saban might be heard saying:

“Those dang Shula recruits ruining my regime. The Saban Regime shall have no other coke heads or players packing heat. Hey secretary, call Mal Moore and tell him to get Shula in here, I am going to kick his little gravy training ass back to his Pa. I’m going to Dick’s to buy some more straw hats. Mal you little weasel, I want another million to put up with this crap.”

The reason? Just a little coke dealer on the team that’s all. Ken Stabler might have a new roommate in rehab.

And they say it never snows in Alabama.

Jimmy Johns (not the sandwich franchise) a linebacker, was arrested Tuesday in Tuscaloosa and charged with five felony counts of distributing cocaine.

To add insult to injury a sixth charge of possession was also tacked on after police officers searched his off-campus residence and found cocaine and Ecstasy pills.

Saban knowing a super secret double probation punishment wouldn’t cut it this time, kicked JJ off the team.

“This type of behavior obviously will not be tolerated, and he is no longer a part of our program,” Saban said in a statement.

Capt. Jeff Snyder, who heads up the West Alabama Narcotics Task Force, said the Po Po received information about two months ago that Johns was involved in the selling of drugs.

“Once we were able to get our investigation in place, we were able to buy from him five different times over the last week and a half and were then able to obtain a search warrant for his residence,” Snyder said. “He was popular. A lot of people knew him.”

Records did not indicate whether Johns had hired a lawyer. He was held at the metro jail with bond set at $120,000.

I’m no Johnnie Cochran, especially since I am not dead or in hell, but it looks like Mr. Johns is in some major trouble. Certainly more trouble than normal players who had the various drinking charges a few months back. $120,000 bond, it’d take Saban a couple of hours to earn that kind of money with his contract.

Saban+Alabama+3 years=Sanctions.

You stay classy Bama! I’d be doing drugs to if I lost to Louisiana Monroe!

To bad this police officer wasn’t the one investigating the matter…maybe JJ would still be on the team.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, Louisiana Monroe, Nick Saban, Roll Tide, SEC Football, cheaters, cocaine | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »