Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for July 2nd, 2008

Chris Snyder now Sings Soprano

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 2, 2008

I have no love or hate for the Arizona Diamondbacks but after watching this I have extreme pity for their catcher. Watch the replay…I don’t think it was a foul ball.

Can we all say “Shattered Testicle” in unison? I thought we could.

Posted in Arizona Diamondbacks, MLB, Major League Baseball, Shattered | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Giving it 10% award of the week

Posted by Muna Osisioma on July 2, 2008

I was sitting around last night watching a movie and having dinner wondering what my next piece would be when it hit me. You’ve heard of the tired sports cliche; giving it a 110 percent. What if I could do something where I picked somebody who only gave 10% as opposed to the proverbial 110?

This isn’t to be mistaken for folks who give a 110% but just aren’t as good, a la Mark “the Maddog” Madsen. Instead I am referring to people like Rasheed Wallace who mail in about 10 games per season. In other words, this here distinction is for those athletes who aren’t even trying. Those players who you wonder if they even have a pulse. I mean if basketball season weren’t over, I would have a wealth of culprits but it is baseball season and thats a bit more difficult to read. But just because I like challenges, I am going to try anyway.

Although the week isn’t over, my first pick for this distinguished award are the pinstriped boys from New York. After beating the Mets 9-0 last Friday, the Yanks scored just seven runs losing three of four. At this point they are third in the AL East, 7.5 games behind the Tampa Rays and five back of the Red Sox. All this prompted Hank Steinbrenner to go to the press again. According to the AP;

“We’ve got to start hitting,” he said Wednesday. “It’s getting ridiculous. They’ve got to start waking up. They’ve shown flashes what they can still do.”

Indeed.

Posted in MLB, Sports, baseball, sports & stuff, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Arkansas Player has Moped Rage

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 2, 2008

Backup linebacker Wendel Davis isn’t exactly the smartest piece of crystal meth on the university of Arkansas football team. He has an injured hand after a non-injury accident Tuesday that was followed by Davis dismounting from his moped and pounding on the windshield of the car that bumped his vehicle.

The Morning News newspaper of Springdale reports that Gary Crain, public information officer for the University of Arkansas Police Department, said Davis was stopped at an intersection when his scooter was bumped from behind by another motorist in a car.

“There was no real damage or no injury there, but Wendel got off his scooter and pounded the car to the extent that he injured his hand,” Crain said.

Crain said Davis caused dents to the car and broke its windshield.

Like this is actually a big deal. I break windshields with my bare hand all the time.

University police are investigating the incident.

Arkansas coach Bobby “Quitter” Petrino issued a statement released through the university that states he was aware of the incident, and would act appropriately once he had “all of the facts regarding the situation.”

Word out on the street say it was in fact Bobby Petrino’s car… well his rented U-haul anyway. Apparently he was getting prepared to activate plan B which is actually plan A in case things do not go well at Arkansas.

Posted in Arkansas Razorbacks, Bobby Petrino, SEC Football, dumbass, moped | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

Georgia Players Mourn for UGA VI by Getting Arrested and Kicking Ass

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 2, 2008

I mourned the loss of UGA VI with her. Time and time again.

I can fully understand the university of Georgia football players being upset after the loss of their beloved Uga VI. What I don’t understand is the strange mourning ritual 3 players have endured.

The first two are Guard Justin Anderson and tackle Trinton Sturdivan. They are now are facing misdemeanor battery charges. According to the Po Po they were charged after an incident involving two women outside a dormitory. One of the players allegedly touched the stomach of one of the women, who is pregnant.

First off, if she’s pregnant and hanging around the dorms, she’s probably just visiting from Florida. Secondly, they could suspend everyone but Knowshon from the first two games and still cover the spread.

However sending flowers would have been sufficient.

“It is a misdemeanor allegation and the boys deny that they have done anything wrong,” said Ed Tolley, the attorney representing Anderson and Sturdivant. “We’ll have to let the courts sort it out.”

The third player, sophomore defensive end Michael Lemon, has been named as a suspect in a weekend altercation beat down at an Athens apartment complex, in which a Georgia student suffered an eye injury and head trauma.

If Lemon is indeed arrested, that would make him the seventh Georgia football player to be charged with a crime since the end of last season.

Usually UGA players stick to domestic violence…looks like they are branching out a little here.

According to the police report:

“Lemon punched [the victim] five times … and several witness advised that Mr. Lemon’s friends ‘huddled’ around Mr. Lemon as he was punching [the victim].”

The report also states the victim’s “left eye was noticeably swollen and he also had a bump on his head from where Mr. Lemon hit him. [The victim] advised that his vision was blurry from his left eye. It appeared as though [the victim] also had a concussion from the altercation.”

UGA associate athletics director Claude Felton was shocked to learn of the arrests and coach Richt was conveniently “out of town” so he couldn’t comment.

“Under Athletic Association policy, a misdemeanor offense will fall to a coach’s discretion in terms of disciplinary action,” Felton said. “I’m sure Coach Richt will gather all the facts and make a decision at some point.”

All this has caused Billy Bob Bammer to stop with the harvest of Coca plants with the Columbia Cartel and make an official statement:

“Listen UGA. Stop trying to one up Bama, we are better than you (except on the football field). We still have a lead at this point and will win the convict championship ’08 (sorry Tennessee). We appreciate your effort UGA but 10 arrests in 13 months cannot be beat so take that dawgs. RTR.”

Posted in Bammers, Crime & Punishment, Dawgs, Discipline, Florida Gators, Georgia Bulldogs, Go Vols, SEC, SEC Football, mark richt | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »