Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for July 10th, 2008

Rich Rodriguez…Quitter…

Posted by Joel on July 10, 2008


What the hell happened??? A settlement??? Are you kidding me??? What were you thinking??? You were supposed to stick it to the man, and instead you said that you give up.

I know, I know, Michigan forced it. Sure, they are footing the bill (which you created). I know, your new job bailed your maize and blue bottom out of the sizzling flames. It must be nice for Michigan to pull $3 million out of it’s war chest to cover you. Ironic, the new athletic facilities you were bitching and moaning about because they were non-existent, are now about to go full steam ahead thanks to you bolting for Michigan.

So now what??? How could you honestly look a kid in the eye and expect them to keep running gassers when they have nothing left??? You gave up. Some may say good for you leaving West Virginia. That is a question for another time. The issue at hand is that you quit WVU, created nuclear winter on your way out, got your new employer to pay your old employer, and in a few years you will probably leave again for the B.C. Lions of the Canadian Football League.

Honestly, you are no better than Nick Saban, your favorite fellow West Virginian. And like St. Nick, you will be lucky to go to a bowl game this year. Hooray, Michigan fans, the Scratch n’ Sniff.Com Bowl in Butte, Montana await you. And all for the low, low price of $36 million over the next 4 years. On top of it all, you managed to make West Virginia University something that Kinko’s bought MBA degrees couldn’t do. You made them look smart.

Of course, if you had Paul Rhoades, former defensive coordinator of Pitt, as your lawyer, you could have easily stopped the Mountaineers (13-9)…

Posted in Ass Whipping, BCS, Big East, Bill Stewart, Coach Rich Rodriguez, College Football, Football Poll, Lloyd Carr, Michigan, Michigan Wolverines, NCAA, Sports, WVU, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, big 10, big ten, big ten football, boo birds, boosters, dumbass, football | Leave a Comment »

The AMI & the Porn Industry Support Jason Giambis’ All Star Mustache

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 10, 2008

Up until this year most Yankee fans would have told you that they hate Jason Giambi. He was just another overpaid underachieving cog in the Yankees evil empire. Then suddenly something happened, he grew a mustache reminiscent of the mustaches that the 70’s porn kings such as Ron Jeremy sports.

So let’s be clear on this. Jason Giambi wears a golden thong & sports a porn-stache all equal starting first baseman for the American League in this years’ all star game.

Of course Jason had some help. The American Mustache Institute (AMI) whose mission statement of “Protecting the rights of, and fighting discrimination against, mustached Americans by promoting the growth, care, and culture of the mustache,” officially endorsed Giambis’ all star ballot.

“It doesn’t take a mathematician to figure out that Jason Giambi’s hitting prowess plus a fashionable mustache, equals a bona fide All-Star,” said Aaron Perlut, Executive Director of The American Mustache Institute. “Giambi’s significant first-half production as well as his powerful lip fur – indicating great intellect and good looks – make two very compelling reasons for his place on the American League All-Star roster.”

Lip fur…lovely…oh & they made a video as well. Praising Giambi and man-loving his mustache.

The Yankees actually urged the fans in a press release to vote for Giambi and his porn-stache:

The New York Yankees are urging fans to “Support the ‘Stache” and vote for first baseman Jason Giambi on Major League Baseball’s Final All-Star Ballot.

Before this year the only thing Giambi delivered for the Yankees was an admission to using steroids but thanks to his golden thong and his Ron Jeremy like mustache he’s in the all star game.

All this is driving Yankees radio announcer John Sterling to act less than professional in the media dining room at Yankees stadium. According to the New York Post:

Yankees radio announcer John Sterling is being called out for foul behavior in the stadium’s press dining room. “Sterling has made a habit of walking over to the dessert table and dipping his finger into the ice cream barrel,” one stadium worker told us, adding that the play-by-play vet has also used the same tablespoon to repeatedly take samples. During the Boston series, “He wandered over to the cake and pie section, broke off a piece of a cake slice, ate it and wiped his grimy hands on the linen tablecloth, leaving the remainder of the slice for someone else to eat – which indeed happened,” our spy continued.

See what you can achieve with the support of the AMI and the porn industry backing you? The porn-stache is a powerful thing. But only a goatee like I and Boston Red Sox slugger Kevin Youkilis sport, can bring you the riches of a popular blog and your own sports drink.

Posted in Boston Redsox, Evil Empire, Jason Giambi, Kevin Youkilis, MLB, Major League Baseball, Mustache Fever, Ron Jeremy, Sox Rock!, new york yankees, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »