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Archive for July 15th, 2008

As a Red Sox Fan I must say this Frightens Me

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 15, 2008

Ummm Yeah….

Posted in Boston Redsox, MLB, Major League Baseball, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Little Known Features of EA Sports NCAA 2009 Football

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 15, 2008

Find your overrated school cover here

Well well well…today is the day that EA sports NCAA 2009 is released. There are many new features that aren’t gathering the attention they deserve, let’s go over some.

When you’re playing as Tennessee the more you lose the more stress is placed on the Great Battle Captain Phil Fulmer thus resulting in weight loss. Go for the male swimsuit model look! There’s also a special code that allows to take a virtual tour of Knoxville via police ride-a-longs. Sweet!

If you’re playing as Ohio State & make it to the BCS championship game but you’re paired against a SEC team…go ahead and press reset, you’ve automatically lost. Another note when you’re playing as Ohio State you can bypass playing Michigan game, you’ll win it every time so why waste your time.

There’s a secret Jimmy Johns mode when playing as Alabama where you can snort some of the end zone chalk.

While playing as Michigan if any opposing team makes fun of the fact you lost to Appy State you’re allowed to kick their mascot.

If you’re playing as Penn State and Joe Pa breaks his leg you can have him shot & put him out of his misery.

If you’re playing as Oklahoma and make it to a BCS bowl game just press reset you can’t win.

If you lose a game while playing as South Carolina you’re allowed to try and decapitate the opposing coach with Spurrier’s visor.

If you defeat Texas for the national championship you can kill and grill Bevo the Texas mascot or Matthew Mcconaughey your choice.

While playing as Alabama, Florida or South Carolina you’re allowed to comment crimes as players and then bail them out, supply them a lawyer and attend the trials as a spectator. There are also special codes of all three schools that allow you to use bongs, guns and stolen merchandise as “recruiting tools”.

While playing as Georgia you can have Uga defecate on any opposing coach’s shoe.

While playing against Michigan you can have the INS arrest and detain Rich Rodriguez for not having a green card on his person at the time.

If you lose to Louisiana-Monroe while playing as Alabama, you can send EA Sports a screen shot of the final score and they will ship you a loaded gun to kill yourself with, because no one should lose to them in real life much less during a freaking video game.

While playing as West Virginia you have a secret weapon in using the enormously ugly chicks as cheerleaders like the Angry Err posted here at LWS.

When playing as Ole Miss you can send dirty and obscene text messages to blond female members of press. Much like Houston Nutt did while at Arkansas.

When playing against Auburn at Auburn you have a brief window of opportunity to shoot down the eagle mascot in mid flight.

Speaking of Arkansas when you’re in coach mode you can up and quit without notice.

While playing as LSU, the more you win the bigger Les Miles’ hat gets.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Appalachian State, Arkansas Razorbacks, BCS, Bama Sucks, Big Twelve Football, Bobby Petrino, Coach Rich Rodriguez, Florida Gators, Gator Gangsters, Georgia Bulldogs, Joe Pa, Joe Paterno, LSU Tigers, Les Miles, Michigan Wolverines, Oklahoma sooners, Penn State Nittany Lions, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Steve Spurrier, Texas Longhorns, West Virginia Mountaineers, big ten football, ole miss rebels | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

If only Jason Peter Could be in a Room with Lou Holtz for Five $@%#&^! Minutes!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 15, 2008

Lou Holtz was once considered a great coach by some until he left Notre Dame and hung around until landing the South Carolina job. Even though fans of South Carolina claim to hate Lou Holtz, his first three years were a greater success than God Spurrier’s.

From South Carolina he went to ESPN where his lisp as gotten more annoying, his homerism for South Carolina is so bad people believe dementia has set in and the paper towel bill for ESPN studios has increased greatly due to the flood of spit his lisp creates when he does those lame-ass pep talks. Not to mention the fact he as the audacity to sign his autograph as Granny from the “Beverley Hillbillies“.

On July 8th former Nebraska and NFL football star turned junkie turned author Jason Peter, saves some of the strongest profanity-laced and sweet as hell vitriol in his new book “Hero of the Underground,” for Holtz.

“I still wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to spit in Lou Holtz’s (bleeping) face,” Peter writes in the book. “Each Saturday in the fall when Holtz makes his jovial, dumb … remarks on ESPN, I hope he knows that there’s at least one family on the other side of the screen, the Peter family, that knows what a — – — he really is.

My fingers start to tense up and I get that feeling through my body, even after all these years have passed, when I see him on TV. When I hear people talking about him, something goes off in my head. I carry so much anger over that and I don’t know what it would take or if there’s anything that can be done to make it OK.”

I can agree with the jovial and dumb remarks Peter is talking about. But the Morse Code part of his comment is rather confusing. And such anger is shocking

Jason Peter is a former junkie that was addicted pain killers, cocaine, crack and heroin. So he is on the 11 step plan. Step 11 write a book and cash in on the fact you were junkie.

Holtz apparently has a lot of enemies after all every school he has ever coached at has been put on NCAA probation after he has left.

However Peter’s problem with Holtz is what he feels was the unfair treatment of his younger brother Damian, at one time a highly touted Notre Dame recruit.

Damian Peter, a 6-foot-7, 300-plus pound offensive lineman from Middletown, N.J., was a member of Notre Dame’s 1994 recruiting class. That summer, however, Peter was seriously injured in a swimming pool accident, breaking the C5 vertebrae in his neck. For several days, doctors feared he might never walk again.

According to Jason Peter, Holtz did not call Damian or establish contact during the course of that summer.

Holtz could not be reached for comment on Thursday. An administrative assistant in his Florida office said he was attending a golf event in Nevada for the rest of the week, but would be unlikely anyway to choose to respond to Peter’s comments about him. Probably out of fear and the fact hardly anyone can understand him when he speaks. Or is that speakths? (Just try and imagine the Lou Lisp)

Peter also writes that when his brother began school at Notre Dame in the fall, he was “frozen out, ignored, discarded” by Holtz, his staff and his would-be teammates.

Ironically, Jason Peter co-hosts a radio show on the Lincoln, Neb., ESPN affiliate. Holtz is a studio analyst for the network during college football season.

Well, seeing how he works that closely to Holtz, I retract my statement about being angry. I would probably be that angry working with Holtz as well.

Posted in Jason Peter, Lou Holtz, Lou Lisp, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, South Carolina Gamecocks, notre dame sucks | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »