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Archive for July 29th, 2008

Hells Yeah!!! The SEC rulez in this Top 20 poll as well!!!!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 29, 2008

We all know the SEC generally dominates the football polls this year; well they also dominate the Princeton Review list of top party schools in the country!!!

Let’s break it down peeps.

1. University of Florida. Guns, sweet sticky icky weed & Tebow.

2. University of Mississippi. The Grove, the cheerleaders & Jerrell Powe

3. Penn State University. Joe Pa, a shitload of arrests and the Penn State Paranormal Research Society

4. West Virginia University. Deliverance, igniting couches & Rich Rodriguez

5. Ohio University. At least they can beat tOSU at something

6. Randolph-Macon College. Who the hell is this? Seriously

7. University of Georgia. Uga, the umpteen million personalities Herschel Walker & fans that paint their heads

8. University of Texas. Dope head/actor Matthew Mcconaughey, Bevo & Mac Brown

9. University of California-Santa Barbara. Mascot looks like a psychotic Hamburglar

10. Florida State University The Cowgirls, Bowden & wondering if he will ever retire.

11. University of New Hampshire. Like there is anything better to do there.

12. University of Iowa. Sex scandal, Haden Frye and still sucking at football

13. University of Colorado. Ralphie, Hawkins and see above

14. University of Indiana. Bobby Knight, text messaging fool Sampson & basketball season doesn’t look good next year

15. Tulane University. The green wave due to puke

16. University of Illinois. The Fighter Zookers enough said

17. Arizona State University. Ugly school colors, PAC 10 & Eckerson NCAA sanctions to follow

18. University of Tennessee. GO VOLS! Cumberland Ave. Rocky Top & Smokey!

19. University of Alabama. Cheaters, Dead Behr & Subpoenas

20. Loyola University. The French Quarter and attempting to out drink Tulane.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Arizona State Sundevils, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Colorado Buffalos, Fighting Illini, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Florida Sucks, Georgia Bulldogs, Jerrell Powe, Rocky Top, SEC, Texas Longhorns, Uga, WVU, West Virginia Mountaineers, Zooker, alcoholics, ole miss rebels | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Big Orange Roundtable Volume IV. The Subpoena Edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 29, 2008

The Battle Captain explains all. Click to enlarge for a better view. I also have the same watch!

This weeks Big Orange Roundtable is being hosted by Lawvol at Gate 21. He has made up some difficult questions. Keep checking here or at other Big Orange Roundtable members for links to everyone’s answers. Due to that BS subpoena I decided to break away from using the Big Orange Roundtable logo (for this week only) that Lawvol graciously created instead what you see is what you get. I can only hope the other members are cool with that.

1) Thus far we’ve made a number of predictions for the 2008 Vols. Now, let’s take the next step: What are your pre-season predictions for each of Tennessee’s regular season games this year (along with any explanations you feel are needed)



(Home Games in Bold)

Win or Loss


1 Sept



The Vols will be wearing their Kevlar vests to deflect the bullets on the way to the stadium. UCLA has a first year coach with a lot of injuries. They simply can’t compete.

13 Sept



This is the first home game this year. UAB has not a prayer.

20 Sept



Tebow and Herban are too much this year, but the game will be close.

27 Sept


Loss First SEC road game for Mountain Messiah Crompton will not be a pretty site.

4 Oct

Northern Illinois


Who the hell is this?

11 Oct



Only because of the curse that my best friend (huge Dawgs fan) put on Georgia last year still stands. Vols pull the upset.

18 Oct

Mississippi State


The Vols have to much talent for Fulmer to get Croomed this year.

25 Oct

Alabama (Sucks)


After the subpoena BS and last year. Screw Bama!

1 Nov

South Carolina


Carolina fans finally have their daily masturbation dreams fulfilled with a victory over my beloved Vols at Williams-Brice Jail Stadium

8 Nov

Wyoming (Homecoming)


The men of Broke Back Mountain U. will not prevail. Plus it’s homecoming.

22 Nov



Doesn’t have the talent to match up.

29 Nov



The streak stays alive. KY is in rebuilding mode as well.

2) Gameday routines, we all have them. What are your gameday rituals, especially those that are completely irrational, grounded in baseless superstition, or otherwise defy explanation?

For home games I get up at 3:30 AM and slash the tires of my neighbors’ car since they are  Bama fans. If it’s a road game then I want good karma that day so I only scratch the fender of the car. Then I retire back to bed. Around 7:00 AM I get back up a sacrifice a live cow on the alter of Smokey. I have one of the immigrant kids clean up the mess.

Around 9:00 AM I go to Kroger to get junk food and head to buddy’s house. When commercials are on during “Gameday Live” we pick on the fatass Bama kid that lives next door. The first one to make him cry gets $10.00. I find that the constant reminding of the fact that he is an adopted test-tube baby that his mom won in an obese strip poker game and that his step dad loves all kids except him works wonders.

At 12:00 PM the games start and I just veg in front of the TV all day making rude and offensive comments to the refs when bad calls are made. And continue to pick on the fatass Bama kid next door when commercials are on. Thankfully Billy Bob Bammer really doesn’t like his stepson.

Whenever it’s halftime and I’m forced to view Lispy Lou Holtz I whip out the Voodoo doll I make of him using the bones of the South Carolina mascot Cocky when Lou was coaching there. I mean come on Lispy Losing Lou drove the price of chicken down to $2.89 per lbs. before he left. Did you think that chicken would survive?

Anyway using the magic I learned from some Black Sabbath worshiping stoners that work in the mail room of my employment. I grab the doll and yell “Shut the hell up Lou! I hate you and the floods that are caused from your spit!” over and over again until my buddy changes the channel. That’ll teach him to be a remote hog. The bastard.

Honestly, I have no game day rituals to speak of.

3) Crompton vs. Tebow? Discuss…

Tebow. As much as i hate to admit it. To be honest I haven’t seen the Mountain Messiah play enough to even answer that honestly but I’ve seen enough of Tebow.

4) Will the Vols manage to make it to the SEC Championship Game again this season — either outright, or through the backdoor? Why or why not?

No. Georgia or Florida will get there this year. We are using a new QB and a new OC. Plus those two teams are stacked. Next year though…:)

5) Of all the coaches in the SEC who do you currently consider to be the best? Why?

Tuberville. The man wins no matter what. Right now he owns Bama and Florida. In case you haven’t noticed he own Tennessee as well. He knows when to gamble and when not to gamble. He also takes great pains in the pre-game prep work on his opponents something that is becoming a lost art.

Those Big Orange Roundtable members that have answered the call so far are:

Posted in Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Big Orange, Go Vols, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »