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Archive for August 15th, 2008

Making fun of the Chinese must be tradition in Spain

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 15, 2008

The dude in the back in the pink shirt thinks the Chinese stereotype is that they rock out to Slayer.

Even though a lot of people are shocked at the photo that Spain’s Olympic basketball team posed for, that doesn’t stop other athletes from Spain from making fun of Orientals as well.

Spain’s 2008 Federation Cup Tennis team, which beat China to move into the finals, was photographed in a similar pose. The above photo from the Spanish Tennis Federation’s site.

How is it possible for that many people (who you’d think would have SOME experience being in the public eye) to be so socially unaware? How is it even POSSIBLE to be that clueless?

The Chinese teams should counter with sombreros.

Posted in China, Spain, The Olympics, classless, tennis | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

USC Trojans like to scratch their genitals a lot

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 15, 2008

If you think the Gaytors are having a rough preseason with 5 ACL tears imagine 25% of your team with dreaded jock itch. Unfortunately for the USC Trojans they aren’t imagining it because it’s present day reality. At least according to the LA Times it is.

“As much as 25% of the team has been affected by the apparent run of tinea cruris, kicker David Buehler estimated. The condition seems to have spread by way of new compression shorts, or tights, worn under their football pants.”

Uh huh I do not believe that. I have a feeling Paris Hilton paid the team a visit if you know I mean.

“It burns,” Patterson said.”

Crab Lice have a tendency to do that. So I’ve been told. At least that’s what Billy Bob Bammer says.

This next quote cracks me up.

“Sometimes they can’t walk,” said tailback Stafon Johnson, who could giggle because he has remained itch-free. “I don’t know what it is, but I’m staying away from it.”

Song girls are nice, but nothing is without consequence, people.

Posted in Pac 10 football, Paris Hilton, USC, southern cal | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

I believe Ken Lucas is looking for another ass whipping

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 15, 2008

Lucas after Smith schooled him

Lucas after Smith schooled him

Many of you may remember that on August 1st, Carolina Panthers wide receiver Steve “Hands of Stone” Smith punched beat the hell out of cornerback Ken Lucas.

Apparently Lucas didn’t learn his lesson. Even though Lucas punked by someone who at least 18 inches shorter than him, he is now talking trash about Smith in the press. In an interview for the Charlotte Observer he states:

“I’m not going to lie to you and tell you it was easy,” says Lucas. “I never thought I could.”

He adds: “I could have hurt him in a serious way.”

However in fairness to Lucas he also might have realized his error during the interview or he remembers the pain that Smith put him though because he then states:

“It could have ended a lot of different ways,” says Lucas. “I could have lost my eyesight, I could have lost consciousness, I could have lost my life.”

Well I’m glad Smith didn’t kill you. Can we say drama queen everyone?

Smith has been suspended for two games but that’s really just to train for a fight with the world’s toughest man Chuck Norris. Smith refuses to comment on Lucas’s cowardly statements to the press. After all Smith will let his actions do the talking.

Posted in Brawls, Carolina Panthers, Fights, Ken Lucas, NFL, Steve Smith | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Forbes names Saban an official Man-God!

Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on August 15, 2008

That’s right! Forbes has officially named our Behr reincarnated Nick Saban as God! Well at least close to it. Everyone knows Coach Bryant is the one true savior! rtr! But Saban is his son! RTR!!!

Outside of Squirrel Hunting Weekly I normally don’t read much, but I learned that Forbes has named the Behr’s personal disciple Nick Saban “Most powerful coach in sports.”

See? I told ya he was named God. RTR!

So what if Tim “Teabag” Tebow is on the cover of Men’s Fitness. If we got to play Florida we would own them! That is after we get over the 6-6 regular season record, learn to beat Georgia, and learn to beat Louisiana Lafayette. Rtr

All that will come in time. That one hounds tooth crown of thorns today has already started laying groundwork. For starters he done went and took Louisiana Lafayette off the schedule. Rtr!

He’s already brung us a the Logan Young recruiting national title and soon we will lay claim the Fulmer Cup. Let’s look at this write up that Forbes has done.

“But in Tuscaloosa, which was desperate to return to national football prominence, Saban, 56, was a savior, welcomed with an open wallet. Saban, with his agent, James E. Sexton II, negotiated an eight-year, $32 million contract that was, at the time, the highest salary ever paid to a college coach. It remains among the highest and is bigger than all but a handful of NFL coaching salaries. His deal includes, among other perks, 25 hours of private use of a university airplane, two cars and a country club membership, extras that make his annual compensation closer to $5 million a year, estimates Smith College economics professor Andrew Zimbalist. He can leave the school at any time without financial penalty, a rarity in big-time college coaching contracts.

Do huh? He gets all that? And all we get so far is a 7-6 season with embarrassing loses including back to back loses to Mississippi State?

Breath deeply Billy Bob he will lead us to the promise land & salivation of a BCS title. What else is he stealing from us getting?

“What’s more, he was given total control of the football program: recruiting, coaching, business administration and public relations. There are coaches at other universities who have similar salaries, like Charlie Weis at Notre Dame and Pete Carroll at the University of Southern California. But no coach, including those in the professional leagues, can match Saban’s combination of money, control and influence. Saban, now entering his second year as the coach of the Alabama Crimson Tide, is the most powerful coach in sports.

Holy Mother of Behr! Well no worries if Forbes has named him most powerful coach then it’s gotta be true. After all Forbes knows mediocrity winners. Rtr bitches!

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, All SEC Teams Beware!!, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Forbes, Nick Saban, SEC Coaches, SEC Football | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »