Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for August 26th, 2008

Yankees players are finding new things to suck at

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 26, 2008

The Yankees are all but dead when the post season is concerned so some of them are doing what Mickey Mantle did: drink a lot when not playing.

According to the New York Post Jason Giambi (former porn-tache supporter) & Joba Chamberlain were drowning their sorrows in some dump when a table of fans challenged them to a game of “Beer Pong.”

“IT would be tough for average Joes to beat a couple of Yankees at baseball, but slamming them in a game of beer pong was no sweat. Last week, Jason Giambi and Joba Chamberlain were celebrating their win against the Kansas City Royals at Southern Hospitality, on Second Avenue, when a table of fans challenged them to a game of the college drinking sport. Our spy said, “The fans gave them a beating. Toward the end Chamberlain and Giambi got really competitive, but it wasn’t enough.”

The last line might signify the entire for the Yankees. They got competitive but it wasn’t enough. Trust me I’m not shedding a tear.

Posted in Beer Pong, Jason Giambi, MLB, Major League Baseball, new york yankees, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Fulmer has got some nerve

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 26, 2008

El battle capitán Phillip Fulmer has really got some nerve and balls of steel. He suspended Cornerback Brent Vinson and defensive tackle Donald Langley for the game against UCLA for all things: not going to class.

Fulmer said both could return to play against UAB on Sept. 13, provided they uphold their academic standing.

These are football players not scholars! It’s not like they were dealing cocaine or using a dead woman’s credit card. Langley is a pretty big loss for us, but we’re pretty deep at corner so Vinson is not so much.

I understand the pitfalls of putting so much passion and energy into the fate of 18-22 year old men, but asking them to go to class too dang much!

Hopefully in the grand scheme of things this won’t hurt us too badly. Who knows? Maybe it will actually help somehow, but I’d rather be going to Pasadena with a full plane instead of two empty seats. That’s for sure. I’m just so ticked off right now. I’m going to go kick the neighbor’s bulldog.

Please note the sarcasm in this post because I laid it on thick.

Posted in Go Vols, Phillip Fulmer, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, UCLA, dumbass, satire | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

The Big Orange Roundtable Volume VIII

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 26, 2008

Sings “It’s the most wonderful time of the year…” I hate that song but right now is the most wonderful time of the year because college football is about to kickoff. How fitting it is to have the craziest Big Orange Roundtablers, Losers with Socks, to be the host this week.

Now call your kids and/or significant other to the computer and STFU because we’re going to the Roundtable.

1. In a perfect world, what time would your UCLA Kick-off start?

For me the perfect time would be 7:00 PM EST. In my perfect world that would give me the time to get my exercise in by throwing unopened jars of baby food at the homeless AKA Bammers, leave plenty of time to blog about how much UCLA sucks ass & watch Judge Judy.

2. Sometimes doing the right thing is tough. Sometimes we have to choose between bad and worse.  I have known snipers that get bothered even though what they did was absolutely right. It seems being a coach would have some similar circumstances. Did you think that Coach Fulmer and staff ever lose any sleep over their choices?

I’m sure Coach Fulmer lost sleep over that embarrassing loss to Bama last year but not because of the choices he made but devising a way to enact full revenge for this years game.

I’m sure if we lose a game by three points the coaches will ponder about the choices they made during and before the game, but lose sleep completely….no.

Phil making it rain....

3. Nick Saban is going to start 10 freshmen against Clemson.  Why is he doing this and did he just buy another year of grace from the Red Elephant Club?

I’m going to allow Billy Bob Bammer to answer this question. After the 11 arrests unfortunate incidents this off-season, Lord Saban has no choice but to start the freshmen. I’m not sure that Saban will start 10 freshmen against Clemson. It is my belief that Saban is doing what he does best and that is lying through his teeth playing mind games.

If Lord Saban AKA the Behr Reincarnated doesn’t win against Tennessee, Auburn and gets Croomed again then I is sure the Red Elephant Club will be reluctant to give him a pass. Then again he is the most powerful man in football at least according to Forbes and A.I.L. magazine (Alabama Incest Love) so he might get a pass. I’m out of here I gots squirrels to hunt!

RTR Bitches!

4. Critique Lou Holtz as a ESPN “analyst”. Irish and Cock Homer or scripted live rassler?

I personally love Lou Holtz…when he’s not within earshot of me. Holtz is the evil moke announcer of ESPN. Someone says something intelligent Holtz is compelled to disagree. I would say that some of his spoken drivel is scripted but the “Lou Lisp” makes it impossible to tell.

The final analysis is he’s a criminally insane Irish Homer who loves the Cock. Funny thing is neither present day fan base can stand him now.

Oh yeah he sucks at everything he does.

Be sure to stop by all the Big Orange Roundtable members’ blogs for their answers.

Posted in Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Big Orange, Cocks, Fuck Bama, Fulmer, Go Vols, Holtz, Lord Saban, Lou Holtz, Lou Lisp, Nick Saban, Rocky Top, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »