Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

AFC East:

• New England Patriots: No Brady no problem. Cassel the backup to Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart while at SoCal takes the reigns and leads his team to 2-0. Hey Matt how does feel being benched knowing your backup who never played a college game is undefeated? Maybe this is your career highlight:

• Buffalo Bills: Looking good guys. They were on the cusp all last year so they aren’t a fluke.
• New York Jets: Couldn’t beat New England even though they have Brett Fa*** and New England was Brady’less. Welcome to the AFC Brett.
• Miami Dolphins: Much improved over last year but are still winless.

AFC North:

• Pittsburgh Steelers: Are still the team to beat.
• Cleveland Browns: Are winless…what? Yes I’m afraid the team is suffering through a sophomore slump.
• Cincinnati Bengals: Are horrible Marvin Lewis might want to start updating his resume. I wonder how crow tastes because he had to eat it after taking Chris Henry back.

• Baltimore Ravens: Don’t expect to much them for the remaining of the season.

AFC South

• Indianapolis Colts: Are in dire need to get the running game going.
• Jacksonville Jaguars: Are winless…maybe they aren’t as good as everyone thought.
• Tennessee Titans: Vince is still sulking because Kerry Collins a future Just For Men spokesman is playing just fine.
• Houston Texans: Have been disrupted by Hurricane Ike so really to early to tell.

AFC West

• San Diego Chargers: The Bolts are winless and that’s a shocker. Maybe God hates them this year.
• Denver Broncos: God may hate the Bolts but he loves Jay Cutler.
• Oakland Raiders: Lane Kiffin might as well pack his “Hang In There” kitten poster up. He’s done there.
• Kansas City Chiefs: I like Herman Edwards but this is a bad team he might be Oakland’s next coach.