Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

It Could Be Worse…At Least We Aren’t…

Posted by Joel on September 30, 2008

Obviously, this year’s edition of Volunteer has officially gone down the crapper. Visiting any number of Volunteer blogs will do nothing more than depress you. Well I am here to cheer up fans of Rocky Top. Even though the days of acutally competing with Top 10 teams and being considered the upper crust of the SEC are gone, and Fulmer’s coaching career have gone down quicker than a 50 cent stripper on 2 for 1 night, things could be worse. The hard working folks at Losers With Socks asked a very intriguing question, “What is worse than the Tennessee Offense?”  Well that got me to thinking, what if Tennessee football was meant to suck??? Since I am a glass is half full type of person, and we here at YMSWWC consider ourselves “Solutions Oriented”, I have decided to cheer up the fans by saying that it could be worse…at least we aren’t…

I cannot tell if these guys are entering the practice field stadium for the next loss or leaving because they wanna hit the internet and read about the next 8 year old that Billy Clyde just signed. See, the school thinks football is that sport that gets in the way of basketball. So let us examine some of the “fine points” of Kentucky football, and Wildcat fans, you should be ashamed.

  • They can’t get Ashley Judd to show up there. Who could blame her.
  • When Bear Bryant coached there, he was smoking Lucky Strikes & had no houndstooth.
  • You had to get Jeff Sagarin & his iMac to declare you National Champions in 1950 (before integration).
  • Your cheerleading squad has won more titles than you, a fact your school proudly declares on your website.
  • You keep asking at games “When are they gonna put up basketball goals”
  • You have only gone to 12 bowl games in history.
  • Hal Mumme brought offense and probation with him.
  • Can’t beat Tennessee.
  • George Blanda is the last All-Pro your school has produced.
  • Tim Couch.

So you see, it could be worse Vols. Oh, and don’t worry Kentucky. Midnight Madness is on October 10th, Patrick Patterson is returning, and Ashton “I’m Rick James Bitch” Cobb is no longer on the team. Good times by all…

Oh and I know Kentucky is 4-0 so far, but beating such powerhouses like Middle Tennessee St., Western Kentucky, and Louisville only makes you champions of I-65…

5 Responses to “It Could Be Worse…At Least We Aren’t…”

  1. Brilliant

  2. jrwojdylo said

    great stuff!

  3. Joel said

    Feels better when you put things in perspective…

  4. Jacob said

    I know that their wins have come against shit teams, but I think I would trade an I-65 championship over this start of ours. Hell, Kentucky has a shot at beating us this year. While I appreciate the sunny side up attitude, I just hope you haven’t spoken too soon.

  5. Jacob said

    Kentucky beating us is looking more and more likely after the Northern Illinois game. Our offense is stagnant at best.

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