Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

The WNBA must do something to survive

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 7, 2008

Did you know there’s an all women’s NBA? No? I’m not surprised in fact this one sentence from the Detroit Free Press summed up the WNBA and its chances for survival.

“Braving the chill, several hundred people stopped by Campus Martius Park shortly after noon today to celebrate the Shock’s third WNBA championship in the last six years.”

What they don’t realize is that one of those people was Eminem, and the rest of the people were his posse plus they just happened to be walking by on the way to White Castle. They stopped for the bake sale, stayed for the trophies.

You know they’re apathetic when Detritions won’t even burn a car for warmth.

The WNBA is a struggling sports league. In fact how many people even realized that the finals were taking place? Quickly I want a show of hands…uh huh that’s what I thought.

You see there are plenty of things that are better than watching the WNBA such as:

  • Not watching TV
  • Being hit repeatedly in the head with a large stick
  • Contracting pneumonia

In case your head has been up you own ass lately the economy is really struggling. With a struggling economy comes financial struggles for the teams that make up the WNBA.

So what can the WNBA do to bring in ratings that would equate to more advertisement revenue which of course equals mo’ money mo’ money mo’ money for everyone.

Now I’ve been brainstorming this for a good amount of time, at least 2 minutes.

  • Get rid of overtime and replace it with a strip-off
  • Clone Candice Parks enough times so every team can have at least one great player
  • All WNBA player make the same regardless of talent level so allow more competition by playing the really players more than the average bench warmer.
  • Allow some of the NBA washouts to play at least 10 minutes every game. (If that were to happen I predict Joakim Noah would be in the WNBA today the problem is it would be really hard to tell the difference from him and the ladies)
  • Think topless and pudding…
  • Since it’s been said that WNBA caters to the lesbian crowd, have hot “bi-curious” cheerleaders. (Hell I would even watch just for that)
  • Don’t allow fans like this in the building: (17 second mark)

Whatever becomes of the WNBA will to happen soon because as a league the television ratings and general coverage have been slipping drastically.

If you don’t believe me then ask yourself one simple question:

When was the last time you were excited about going to a WNBA game?

2 Responses to “The WNBA must do something to survive”

  1. Jacob said

    I realize that this is a slippery slope so I will tread lightly. I like women. I like basketball. I can’t stand women’s basketball. Thanks to Pat Summit for all she’s done, however. No matter how much I dislike the game, I love Tennessee prospering at anything…especially since the Lady Vols could probably take our football team this year.

  2. nearlynormalized said

    Survive, get real, what is the NBA doing in the summer with the arenas? NBA is it a poor organization? Put up a few bucks and have great summer entertainment. The woman make their $’s in Europe where they are respected and admired for their ability. Do you wonder why Becky Hammond played for Russia in the Olympics? $’s and they were not afraid to spend it.

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