Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for October 28th, 2008

Let’s play who is going to be our next coach!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 28, 2008

Well, it’s come down to this. Super-duper secret sources at Tennessee are saying that more likely than not Philopotamus Fulmer is out as head coach at Tennessee. Which means a search for a new coach must begin.

The 3rd Saturday in Blogtober already has posted a most excellent list of coaching candidates. Because of that it makes this article ever harder to write. So I’m going to something that most of the Tennessee boosters and current football coaching doesn’t do and that is think outside of the box.

The following list took a long time for me to come up with. I spent a whopping 3 minutes of my life on this list. Here are my choices as the next head coach. Let me rephrase that: Here are the choices that are left since the Ghost of Neyland named all the good choices in his article. Have you gone and read his list yet? You should. Do it! Now!

Ronald McDonald

This would be a fine asset for the Tennessee program. He’s great with kids and wacky in a creepy way. The coaching staff he would bring with him would consist of Mayor McCheese, the Hamburglar, Grimace, Birdie the Early Bird, and The Fry Kids. How sweet is that? Apparently he is also good with the Chinese as well.

This dude

I know nothing about this guy but the sign is funny as hell.

Kenny Rogers

He’s a gambler something which Fulmer isn’t. Plus he makes decent fried chicken.


He kicks ass and he could use the force to change the outcome of the games. You know like the way Alabama purchases the refs except without money.

Vince from those annoying Shamwow commercials.

He might not be able to coach but you know he could recruit. I’m willing to bet that someone reading this purchased a Shamwow.

That’s my list take it or leave it. Either way, at this point in the season they could do a better job than the current staff.

Posted in Phillip Fulmer, SEC Coaches, Tennessee Volunteers, fire philip fulmer, fulmer sucks | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »