Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

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Archive for November 5th, 2008

Florida player celebrates victory over Georgia by choking his soulmate

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 5, 2008

Imagine coming off that rather huge & impressive victory over the Georgia Bulldogs. You’re ready to party by grabbing some sweet icky weed, jorts, a dead woman’s credit card & and a AK-47. However those party favors lost their appeal for cornerback Jacques Rickerson so instead he decides to pull a Latrell Sprewell and choke his girlfriend.

An arrest report stated Rickerson was at the woman’s home and became upset when she told him to leave. Police said he hit the woman on the side of her face and choked her around the throat. When she screamed for help, he pushed her neck further into the mattress of the bed and used a pillow to cover her face.

After he let her go, the woman told police she tried to get out of the room but he blocked the door. He also took her cell phone when she said she was going to call police.

Officers reported the woman had visible injuries to her arm, neck and upper chest.

Of course being a Gator mean this isn’t Rickerson’s first run in with the po-po. Around a year ago he plead guilty to possession of having the sweet icky weed on him.

Urban Meyer has actually kicked Rickerson off the team saying:

“Jacques Rickerson is no longer part of our team – that is not what our program is about.”

So Rickerson gets kicked, but the dude holding the AK and shooting in the air doesn’t? Stay Classy Florida!

I just find it funny that Meyer said he would only recruit the top 1% of kids who have character. Maybe this was a “misunderstanding” like the Joyner situation?

All college teams have to deal with these situations. I just find it funny that Meyer tries to present himself as some specialist elitist.


Posted in Crime & Punishment, Florida Gators, Florida Sucks, Gator Gangsters, Gator mafia, Latrell Sprewell, Marijuana, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Urban Meyer | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Cue up the Wham! Intro Music, Brady Quinn has been named the Starting QB for the Browns

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 5, 2008

All metrosexual Notre Dame and Cleveland Browns fans can now publicly cheer and jitterbug to Wham’s Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go because tomorrow night Brady Quinn makes his first official start as a NFL quarterback.

Brady Quinn the most popular second string QB to never start a game or contract a Cleveland staph-infection not only does a great Michael Jackson pose but was also a damn fine college QB and because of that he deserves no DEMANDS to start, at least that’s what analyst Tony Grossi thinks:

Quinn doesn’t have the RPMs on his throws that Anderson does. But what the Browns lose in torque, they gain in accuracy and, based on Quinn’s major college career, field leadership and perhaps huddle presence.

The Browns have to find out who is the quarterback to lead the team to the Super Bowl. Quinn deserves to start the final eight games, time enough to develop a rhythm with the front-line players previously denied him.

The Browns better hope that Quinn is the player for whom Phil Savage traded two high picks in 2007 to acquire. Nobody can say the Browns forced him in ahead of his time. If anything, they waited too long.

I think the No Homo thing in the NFL is now officially over. If this gig doesn’t work work, I can see Quinn doing The Village People 2.0 or being in a remake of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

This bold and exciting move can only mean that this year’s football season in Cleveland is officially over. A 4-4 team with no defense vs. a 3-5 team? Great scheduling!

Does this mean Browns fans can quit their griping from earlier about being the most tortured fan base or does this move just prove their point?

I just think Browns fans are kidding themselves if they think Quinn is going to be doing any better than the current QB. During his final year at Notre Dame he played three teams with a winning record and crapped his pants against all of them. I fear that he’s going to have the mental makeup of Rex Grossman, with half the arm strength.

Brady is not the monsoon to Cleveland’s championship drought but hey he apparently doesn’t like gays either even though you can’t tell by the photo below.

Posted in Brady Quinn, NFL, NFL Football, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, cleveland browns, metrosexual, notre dame sucks | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »