Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for November 10th, 2008

The Tennessee/Wyoming Grade book: My God the 2005 team was far better than this one.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 10, 2008


Phil looks puzzled...I wonder why...

On November 8th in 1958 the Tennessee Volunteers lost to Chattanooga by the score of 14-6. The loss resulted in fans attempting to tear down the goal posts, fighting and police intervention. A major riot soon followed, involving paddy wagons, tear gas, and fire hoses. Those were the good ole days.

How ironic this past weekend marked the 50th anniversary of that loss. These are dark days to be a Volunteer fan. Tennessee is 3-7 and will not be going bowling this season, worse than that they lost to Wyoming on their own home field.

The players were so angered by the firing of Phil Fulmer that they vowed they would play better and try harder. However words mean nothing when there are no actions to back them up.

Northern Illinois took the Vols to the brink a few weeks ago before falling 13-9. Horrible UCLA beat them. 27-24 in a great overtime battle that was suspect in retrospect.

All of this makes me wish it was 2005 again. Sure it was a losing season but not as bad as this season. This season proves what rocky bottom really means to such a storied program such as Tennessee.

Let’s go to week’s depressing grades. God this team is bad.


Stephens looked horrible. He was 3 for 9 with two interceptions. Crompton really wasn’t any better. He was 11 for 27 and looked bad. At least put Coleman in…Jesus. Both Stephens and Crompton threw the ball erratically at best and both were ineffective managing the offense.


With Foster out with a leg injury, Creer never ran the ball with power. Poole looked good at times but never went over eight yards.


Briscoe and Rogers had key drops. Jones scored the only TD but also had a holding penalty that wiped out a decent running play.


Little pass protection however there were no penalties either. Run blocking was non-existent. Honestly the way they played it looked like they didn’t even want to be on field.


There was little containment that let Wyoming to pound the ball between the tackles. In fact Wyoming ran for 167 yards.


While Rico McCoy had 10 tackles however there were so many other missed tackles I literally lost count! Tennessee could not fill in the gaps to stop the Wyoming running backs.


Praise God that Rogan and Berry chose Tennessee. Rogan had eight tackles and a fumble recovery. Berry had five stops. The Wyoming passing offense never completed a pass longer than 26 yards nor did they have 100 yards worth of passing.


Colquitt had an excellent day punting and Rogan had 80 yards worth of punt returns.


If there was an offensive game plan it was lost somewhere along the way to the stadium. The offense is stale, old and very vanilla. However like most years the defense was solid but never provided any spark.


This was sad. The players cry for their coach but yet actually play their worst game of the season. This was one homecoming game that might keep me away for quite awhile.

Posted in Go Big Orange, Go Vols, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, UT vols, cromptonites, fire philip fulmer, fulmer sucks | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments »

Ashton Kutcher has no Butterfly Effect on the Football Field

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 10, 2008

Ashton Kutcher’s has good life, I won’t deny that. I’ll even admit he was halfway entertaining on That 70′ Show. Then for some reason he decided making shitty movies like Dude, Where’s My Car?, The Butterfly Effect & What Happens in Vegas.

Kutcher is married to former hottie Demi Moore. I say former because she was about 20 years ago before she was married to Bruce Willis. Who would want Bruce Willis’s seconds anyway?

One would think that being married to Moore and staring in shitty movies like those that I have mention above & of course let’s not forget his other TV show Pink’d, would impress the hell out of some spoiled high school football players at North Hollywood’s Harvard-Westlake School. Well think again.

According to Star magazine, Kutcher isn’t exactly popular or even liked.

Coach of the year? Not quite. Ashton Kutcher has been having a ball as assistant coach to North Hollywood‘s Harvard-Westlake School freshman footballers. But the feeling isn’t mutual.

“The kids want him gone,” says an insider. “They think he doesn’t know what he’s talking about and can’t stand his tough-guy attitude.”

Out of the huddle, the kids mock their famous coach and have even given him a special nickname: Ashton Doucher!

They settled on Ashton Doucher after their first choice, Asshat McDickface, was widely rejected as being juvenile and immature.

In other words, he’s exactly like every freshman football assistant coach, none of whom knows anything about football and likes to scream at 14-year-olds to cover up their insecurity about being shitty at their job/life.

Of course every once in a while, 14 yr old kids have a flash of wisdom far beyond their years, this could leave Kutcher asking the question: Dude, Where’s my Career? There is no word yet that Kutcher is asking the players for pain killers…yet.

Posted in Ashton Kutcher, highschool football | Tagged: , | Leave a Comment »