Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

I’ve spent most of the day funneling NyQuil and free basing Tylenol Cold and Flu and I’m feeling somewhat better. In my medicated stupor I envisioned a horrible Christmas gift. Upon sobering up some I realized that I didn’t envision this but I saw it on TV in the form of a pesky commercial.

Just imagine your child’s face light up with disappointment when they receive the ESPN Sportscaster Microphone! Now your child can actually pretend to be Dr. Lou! And this is perfect for every father who aspires to turn their little girl into the next Erin Andrews.

Buy now, and they’ll throw in Stuart Scott’s wandering eye…for FREE!

Other toys might be coming soon such as:

• The Michael Vick Doggie Grooming Kit
• The Phil Fulmer doughnut maker
• The Nick Saban Satanic Alter
• The Brett Favre Decision MakerThe Harold Reynolds Experience featuring Boston Market
• The Sean Salisbury Clipboard
• Emmit Smith’s Hooked On Phonics
• Mike Greenberg’s Guide for the Metrosexual Male and Makeup Kit
• Kirk Herbstreit hair styling kit