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Archive for November 17th, 2008

Yes, Fulmer wants too lose to Vanderbilt

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 17, 2008

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Now that Vandy is bowl eligible for the first time since the early 80′s and coupled with the fact that Tennessee lost to them in 2005, it’s clear that Phil Fulmer is purposely going to lose to them on purpose this coming Saturday.

Fulmer has named Crapton Crompton the starter for this coming Saturday’s match up against Vanderbilt. Crompton is just giddy with excitement.

“I’m enthused,” said Crompton, “I’m going to go out here and do the best I can. We’ve got to go out and win these last two games.”

You know who’s not enthused with this choice? ME! In fact I’m willing to bet that only he is enthused with this decision. Well, actually I take that back. I’m sure the Vandy is equally enthused with his slow reads and our porous offensive line.

Hey I have an idea, why not start B.J. “Huge hands” Coleman? Gerald Jones wouldn’t mind seeing that.

“I think he deserves a chance,” Jones said. “He did pretty good – really good – in the JV game. Why not? Give him a chance and see if he can lead this team from here on out. But I’m not the coach, so it’s not my call.”

“I don’t want to say what’s different, what’s good or what’s better, (but) the difference is Crompton’s a lot slower with his reads than Nick,” Jones said.

Tennessee is actually a 3 ½ point underdog for this Saturday’s game.

Posted in Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Phillip Fulmer, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, UT vols, Vanderbilt Commodores, cromptonites, fire philip fulmer, fulmer sucks, vandy | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

A Peek Inside of Billy Clyde’s World

Posted by Joel on November 17, 2008

Inside the Kentucky Wildcat Locker Room After Friday’s Loss To VMI

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Wow!!! You fucktards really did it now. I cannot believe it. You are not about to embarrass me again. Wait, too late. You guys are really a group of fine individuals. 2 years in a row. I go to Sew Fine Tailors on Euclid Avenue & tell them to hook me up with the finest suit they have, so ol’ Billy Clyde can look sharp as a tack on opening night, and this is how you sissy merries repay me??? Jeremy, bring me my special Gardner-Webb flask…

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(Billy Clyde takes a swig)

You 22 mother fuckers are making me the fucking laughingstock of college basketball. You hear that??? That is ol’ Billy Donovon laughing his ass off. He turned down this job because their wasn’t enough hair gel in this barren wasteland of a state to last a year. He’s got his own personal Soul Glo guy just to style his hair. But not ol’ Billy Clyde. I don’t need gallons of Royal Crown Pomade in my contract. All I need is some of that Kentucky bourbon and some hot poon. Glynn, show these boys the action I got lined up after I leave here. Where’s that fancy iPhone??? Pass it around the locker room and show these sorry ass losers what they almost ruined for Billy Clyde.

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This here is Becky. She is a Miller Lite girl. Now I don’t waste time on beer because it gets in the way. Now you boys might think ol’ Billy Clyde would be in hog heaven, with a hot piece of tail & massive quantities of beer. But that is why you boys are losers. You don’t think. See, ol’ Billy Clyde is warming up.

(Takes 3 more huge swigs out of G-W gas can flask)

Billy Clyde wants it all. That white suit wearing asshole in Louisville is laughing his ass off at ol’ Billy Clyde. I want it all. That piss ant is getting all the glory in this state. I want one of those fancy banners in the rooftops too, so I can use it as a blanket when I am bedding trim in my off time. Tracy, I need 3 tonight.

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Damn Tracy, times must be hard. The economy is in the tank but I get a 4, 7, and 5??? I thought this was Lexington, not Morgantown??? What about the douchebag guys in the background??? Oh well. Bring them too. First time for everything, like you dipshits losing to a 6 win team. See boys, this is how ol’ Billy Clyde is rolling tonight, since you just ruined my season. Thanks. Career high my ass. There’s a reason I left College Station. That cow town had 3 hot chicks, and all of them were horrible in bed. If you are ever driving through Texas & wanna find College Station, let ol’ Billy Clyde tell you how to find it. You will know you are getting close when you start seeing the sheep back ass up to the fences.

Well, you sorry sacks of shit are excused. I will deal with you tomorrow after I give this poon some of Big Billy Clyde. Towelboy, I am taking some towels home. Gonna need that flask too.

Posted in A&E's Intervention, Adolph Rupp, Billy Clyde, Billy Donovan, Billy Gillispie, College Basketball, Condoms, DUI, Dead Drunk, Douche Bag, Kentucky Wildcats, NCAA, SEC, SEC Coaches, Sports, Texas A&M, drunk, gardner webb, whiners | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »