Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for January 20th, 2009

Andy Kennedy has lost that loving feeling

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 20, 2009

You may recall that not to long ago Mississippi Basketball Coach Andy Kennedy was arrested for allegedly for putting a beat on some Cincinnati taxi cab driver. Since then Kennedy has strongly denied this claims and even went to far as to file a deformation of character law suit against the driver and his witness.

When he filed this lawsuit my first impression was “Good because I don’t blame him.” Now this case has taken a stranger turn. It seems that the litigation involving this case has caused him so much undue stress that he can not perform his husbandly duties that involve his wife, Kimber.

Kimber alleges that when she boxed out, Andy wouldn’t post up. Meaning Andy just can’t take it to the hole anymore.

Wait a Kennedy with a libido problem why that’s unnatural! So unnatural that she has filed suit against the cab driver and his “witness”, some valet-driver.

“Kennedy’s wife sued that cab driver and a valet driver who backed his claims to police and the media, saying their accusations had harmed the couple’s personal relationship, including their sex life.

Kennedy, who was in Cincinnati as the head coach for the University of Mississippi, was charged Dec. 18 with misdemeanor assault after police said he punched cabbie Mohamed Jiddou while shouting racial slurs at him after leaving a downtown bar.”

The think this case is brilliant legal maneuver! If this works then I’m signing up for E-Harmony and if I don’t get laid, then buddy watch out because I’m so suing them!!!

Of course there’s always the possibility that Kimber’s milkshake doesn’t bring Andy to her yard anymore or maybe Andy just can’t “get up” for games anymore. Talk about the coach making her ride the pine…sheesh.

I see a sponsorship from Cialis in the near future.

Posted in Andy Kennedy, Cialis, SEC Basketball, legal troubles, ole miss rebels | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Nothing says marital bliss like a STD, just ask Dwyane Wades’ spouse

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 20, 2009

Divorce proceedings generally bring out the worst in two people. There are bitter feelings, broken hearts and sometimes a nasty custody battle to be fought. Apparently Charles Barkley’s former Fav Fiver is experiencing something similar.

In May 2008, Dwyane Wade filed for divorce against wife Siohvaughn. They have two children together, age 5 and 1. Recently Siohvaughn issued a nasty little laundry list that claims Wade gave her a collection of STDs. Somewhere there’s an Eddy Curry joke to be made.

In legal papers, she alleges he abandoned his children, committed adultery, and infected her with an unspecified sexually transmitted disease. She wants the names of ”all of his sexual partners” during their six-year marriage.

Dwyane, named a ”Father of the Year” in 2007 by the National Father’s Day Committee, has gone ”months” without seeing his boys, Siohvaughn says. His ”failure to spend time with them . . . has resulted in the children at times being afraid of him; in fact, Zion . . . does not recognize or know Dwyane.” She wants sole custody, and support.

She also says she has suffered ”grievous physical, emotional and mental injury” from the STD, diagnosed in the fall of ’07. (The infection is not HIV or a ”killer thing,” sources say.) Dwyane and his ”paramour or paramours” are liable, she alleges.

Well…alrighty then! I’m glad the STD isn’t a “killer thing” because if I ever entered a NBA fantasy league Dwyane would be the first player I would choose. Seriously even a blind man can see this is bullshit however I’ll play along for the sake of being funny.

Giving a woman an STD is like giving them one of those “Wine of the Month” club memberships as a gift. Every month, there’s something new to check out in your box.

Dwyane Wade’s Fave 5…STDs:

1. Syphilis
2. Gonorrhea
3. Genital Warts
4. Trichomonas
5. Hepatitis B

If these allegations are true, it would be the first documented case of someone from Wisconsin having a disease other than diabetes and hypertension.

Hopefully there will be a happy ending for all parties involved once this mess is over with and Valtrex prescriptions will be filled.

Posted in Dwyane Wade, Herpes, Miami Heat, NBA, STDs, divorce court | Leave a Comment »