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Archive for February 18th, 2009

English man receives the ultimate punking

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 18, 2009

I’m about to tell you the tale of the ultimate punking that involves sports fans. It isn’t a tale of a college football rivalry or the Red Sox/Stinking Yankees rivalry. No, this involves English soccer, Facebook and two clever chaps from Liverpool. 

The man in the photo above is named Stuart Slann, a 39-year-old Man United fan.. He decides to go on vacation in Cancun where he encounters two cage fighting Liverpool fans. 

Over the course of the days in Cancun Slann drunkenly annoys the two Liverpool fans while boasting about his precious Manchester United team. I did some research and it turns out the Manchester United has won ten titles since Liverpool last won one. 

As a result of his boasting Slann was unceremoniously thrown in to the pool. As a result of this action this action he also broke his ankle. 

Slann must have really gotten on the nerves of the Liverpool chaps because they were not finished yet, after all a broken ankle will be healed. 

After Slann returned home he met a lovely Scottish lady on Facebook named “Emma” and proceeded to flirt with her online for three months. 

Finally after three months of cyber sex, Slann and Emma were going to meet. Slann drove nine hours from his home in Sheffield to Aberdeen in northern Scotland. While in route to his Scottish tart, Slann receives a text from Emma asking for a photo of himself with a sex toy in his mouth. Of course he complies. 

When Slann arrives at the meeting place he receives another text from Emma stating she has to work late. After three and a half hours of waiting, Slann calls the number which the text was sent from to find our cage fighting Liverpool chaps on the other end of the phone. 

To make matters worse, the Liverpool chaps posted the below video to various outlets, which was found by Slann’s wife, who of course promptly left him. The video has the picture of Slann with the sex toy and the phone conversation on it. 

Slann being a man who is clearly defeated only had this to say: 

“If they had asked to drive to Manchester, Leeds or even Liverpool it wouldn’t have been so bad and maybe I’d have seen the funny side,” Slann said.  ”But to drag me all the way to Aberdeen was just cruel.”


Posted in Facebook, Liverpool, Manchester United, Punk'ed, dumbass, pranks | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

This Gator football player is probably the dumbest of the bunch to date

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 18, 2009

Coming out of high school Carl Johnson was a five star rated recruit who was the No. 6 offensive line prospect in the class of 2005 by Rivals.com, and played a key role in the Gators’ 2008 national championship.. His football career at the University of Florida is the rise. As a sophomore this past season he appeared in all 14 games and started in eight of those games at the left guard position. Now like a lot of past Gators before him Johnson gets to see the inside of a jail cell and this is under rather alarming circumstances.

Somehow the Gator mafia suppressed the fact that Johnson was served a temporary injunction on Feb. 9 for protection against sexual violence from the mainstream media. However since some Gators are plainly stupid, the Gator mafia can not keep the fact that around one week later Johnson has already violated that order got to know a Gainesville jail cell intimately.

On Monday, February 16, Johnson in all his glorious Gator gangsta self knowingly decided to sit across the UF campus bus aisle against the woman (at least I hope it’s a woman) who filed for the protection order. And then to make matters worse he had four chances to exit the bus but didn’t until the woman exited the bus.

Yes Urban you certainly are recruiting and signing the top 1% of 1% in the country. The top 1% of criminals and top 1% of dumb asses or in Johnson’s case both. Next thing you know, Gator players will be shooting AK 47′s and using a dead woman’s credit card. Oh wait that’s already happened. 

Of course while all this was going on, Meyer has been “out of the country”, I’m betting he is in Thailand with Teabag Timmy.

Posted in 1%, Crime & Punishment, Florida Gators, Gator Gangsters, Gator mafia, Tebow, Thailand, dumbass | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »