Have any questions, hate mail, private comments, cease and desist letters, story ideas, death threats (that will be published) or tips? Then drop us a line at
ymswwc@gmail.com
The above screen shot of CBS Sport’s website pretty much sums all I have to say about that A-Roid press conference. And they say there’s no longer truth in advertising.
Archive for February, 2009
Why Thank You CBS
Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 19, 2009
Posted in A-Roid, Alex Rodriguez, MLB, MLBPA, Major League Baseball, new york yankees | Tagged: A-Roid, Alex Rodriguez, Major League Baseball, MLB, MLBPA, new york yankees | Leave a Comment »
English man receives the ultimate punking
Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 18, 2009
I’m about to tell you the tale of the ultimate punking that involves sports fans. It isn’t a tale of a college football rivalry or the Red Sox/Stinking Yankees rivalry. No, this involves English soccer, Facebook and two clever chaps from Liverpool.
The man in the photo above is named Stuart Slann, a 39-year-old Man United fan.. He decides to go on vacation in Cancun where he encounters two cage fighting Liverpool fans.
Over the course of the days in Cancun Slann drunkenly annoys the two Liverpool fans while boasting about his precious Manchester United team. I did some research and it turns out the Manchester United has won ten titles since Liverpool last won one.
As a result of his boasting Slann was unceremoniously thrown in to the pool. As a result of this action this action he also broke his ankle.
Slann must have really gotten on the nerves of the Liverpool chaps because they were not finished yet, after all a broken ankle will be healed.
After Slann returned home he met a lovely Scottish lady on Facebook named “Emma” and proceeded to flirt with her online for three months.
Finally after three months of cyber sex, Slann and Emma were going to meet. Slann drove nine hours from his home in Sheffield to Aberdeen in northern Scotland. While in route to his Scottish tart, Slann receives a text from Emma asking for a photo of himself with a sex toy in his mouth. Of course he complies.
When Slann arrives at the meeting place he receives another text from Emma stating she has to work late. After three and a half hours of waiting, Slann calls the number which the text was sent from to find our cage fighting Liverpool chaps on the other end of the phone.
To make matters worse, the Liverpool chaps posted the below video to various outlets, which was found by Slann’s wife, who of course promptly left him. The video has the picture of Slann with the sex toy and the phone conversation on it.
Slann being a man who is clearly defeated only had this to say:
“If they had asked to drive to Manchester, Leeds or even Liverpool it wouldn’t have been so bad and maybe I’d have seen the funny side,” Slann said. ”But to drag me all the way to Aberdeen was just cruel.”
Posted in Facebook, Liverpool, Manchester United, Punk'ed, dumbass, pranks | Tagged: dumbass, Facebook, Liverpool, Manchester United, pranks, Punk'ed | Leave a Comment »
This Gator football player is probably the dumbest of the bunch to date
Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 18, 2009
Coming out of high school Carl Johnson was a five star rated recruit who was the No. 6 offensive line prospect in the class of 2005 by Rivals.com, and played a key role in the Gators’ 2008 national championship.. His football career at the University of Florida is the rise. As a sophomore this past season he appeared in all 14 games and started in eight of those games at the left guard position. Now like a lot of past Gators before him Johnson gets to see the inside of a jail cell and this is under rather alarming circumstances.
Somehow the Gator mafia suppressed the fact that Johnson was served a temporary injunction on Feb. 9 for protection against sexual violence from the mainstream media. However since some Gators are plainly stupid, the Gator mafia can not keep the fact that around one week later Johnson has already violated that order got to know a Gainesville jail cell intimately.
On Monday, February 16, Johnson in all his glorious Gator gangsta self knowingly decided to sit across the UF campus bus aisle against the woman (at least I hope it’s a woman) who filed for the protection order. And then to make matters worse he had four chances to exit the bus but didn’t until the woman exited the bus.
Yes Urban you certainly are recruiting and signing the top 1% of 1% in the country. The top 1% of criminals and top 1% of dumb asses or in Johnson’s case both. Next thing you know, Gator players will be shooting AK 47′s and using a dead woman’s credit card. Oh wait that’s already happened.
Of course while all this was going on, Meyer has been “out of the country”, I’m betting he is in Thailand with Teabag Timmy.
Posted in 1%, Crime & Punishment, Florida Gators, Gator Gangsters, Gator mafia, Tebow, Thailand, dumbass | Tagged: Crime & Punishment, dumbass, Florida Gators, Gator Gangsters, Gator mafia, r 1%, Tebow, Thailand | 2 Comments »
Daughter of Florida assistant coach will make any police officer in Iowa sorry
Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 17, 2009
Pick a team, bitch.
If there’s one thing in life I hate it would be spoiled whiney children. So basically I hate almost every kid of an athlete and/or coach. This also applies to anyone who feels “privileged” because who their family is.
Dan McCarney is the former failboat head football coach of the Iowa State Cyclones and current defensive line coach the University of Florida.
His firstborn Jillian, 21, seems to be a little aggressive…I say that because she was arrested on Saturday night for assaulting a police officer and keeping a disorderly house.
“Police say Jillian McCarney also told officers her father would fight them and threatened violence against them several times. According to the police report, McCarney asked the officer, “Do you know who my dad is? He is Dan McCarney.” Jillian McCarney told the officer she “guaranteed all her charges will be ‘dropped’ because her name is ‘McCarney’ and they have ‘a lot of money,’” according to police.”
Ha! If it was my child who said that I would contact the arresting officer and beg him to find more charges to level on her ass.
The charge of “Keeping a disorderly house,” in case you didn’t know, is refusing to turn down the music and telling your drunker than hell friends to go home. I suppose it’s better than “keeping a house of ill repute”
One of the great ironies in sports is the fact coaches portray and even embody an almost God-like ability to be the father of their team, but so many of them are total failures as fathers of their biological families who they abandoned long ago in order to pursue their career.
Dumb bitch. They’re campus cops, just show them your tits and shotgun a beer with them and you’ll stay out of the papers.
Posted in Dan McCarney, Florida Gators, Iowa Hawkeyes, Iowa State Cyclones, drunk, spoiled brats | Tagged: Dan McCarney, drunk, Florida Gators, Iowa Hawkeyes, Iowa State Cyclones, spoiled brats | Leave a Comment »
Nothing says father and son bonding like getting drunk and letting the kid drive
Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 17, 2009
I was going get on my soapbox about the poor parenting skills of Phoenix Suns’ guard Jason Richard and his desire to go slightly over the speed limit while his 3-year-old son was not properly buckled in. After all he was clocked for going 90 in a 35 MPH zone but I changed my mind.
I have a better story to tell involving poor parenting skills instead. Take two soccer coaches, an eight-year-old, a van and a bottle of whiskey shake and stir and you have Disney’s newest straight to DVD release.
Mark A. Belanger, 34, of Sarasota, was arrested on February 8th for allowing his son to drive the family van which almost hit two Toronto FC coaches who were walking nearby.
“Belanger told police he was “feeling woozy and didn’t want to drive.” He also told them he let his child drive “because he wanted to have a bonding moment with his son.” The two pedestrians nearly hit by the child driver are coaches with a Major League Soccer club team, Toronto FC. The team has been in the area for about a week in a training camp.
Witnesses said the boy crashed the van into a tree, shattering the driver’s side rear window, after the two coaches got out of the way. The boy then crashed a second time into a tree, damaging the car’s radiator, the police report said.
When police arrived, Belanger fell to the ground after he dropped his wallet. When he fell, he slammed his face on the pavement, leaving a gash on the bridge of his nose. The boy told police his father took “liquid medicine in order to feel better.” He pointed to an empty bottle of Canadian whiskey in the vehicle.”
Not fair! My mother would not allow me to drive when she got sauced until I was eleven-years-old. Man kids have got made these days. This officially makes the 8 year old the best driver in Florida. Also Belanger should’ve taken his kid to a whorehouse. That’s how you bond with your son.
This is the problem with today’s children. They grew up on Grand Theft Auto, so he crashed into a tree. I grew up on Mario Kart; I would have shot the tree with a red shell and kept it moving.
Posted in DUI, Douche Bag, Florida, Soccer, drunk | Tagged: Douche Bag, drunk, DUI, Florida, Soccer | 2 Comments »
So how was your Valentines Weekend?
Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 16, 2009
I was just asking....sheesh
I tend to refer to Valentines Days as “Single Awareness Day” for a reason, but I’m not bitter about it. However Jeff Allen of Virginia Tech must still be holding bitter feelings about it. Then again if my team lost to Maryland to a score of 83 to 73 I might be pissed off as well.
Posted in ACC Basketball, Maryland, Valentines Day, Virginia Tech | Tagged: ACC Basketball, Maryland, Valentines Day, Virginia Tech | Leave a Comment »
Houston Astros: Marketing Geniuses
Posted by Joel on February 16, 2009
Living in Houston is a different experience from growing up in Memphis. For one thing, Houston is fortunate to have 3 sucky major league sports teams. Growing up in Memphis, there was the then Memphis State Tigers and the Double A Memphis Chicks. Big difference.
One of the things that amazes are the “big league” marketing campaigns that the teams come up with. When I first moved here in 2003, I was expecting glossy, complex slogans that would stick with me and make me wanna shell out $20 for parking, $5 for Cokes, $7 for Cokes in a souvenir cup, $8 for nachos, plus the price of tickets. I would use these marketing campaigns to justify spending $100 in one night. I mean, I could look at that souvenir cup that will fade after the first waash and say to myself, “The memory of spending $7 for a cup & drink that cost the team 30 cents to produce was worth it because I saw The Good Guys play”.
Piss on that. Apparently, the Houston Astros, a Major League Baseball franchise, has released its marketing campaign for the 2009 season. The slogan: Did You Miss Us? Seriously, a team that missed on the playoffs again and features one major league starting pitcher in its rotation tries to get its fanbase fired up, not by signing more starting pitching or bullpen help or by getting a catcher that isn’t scared to swing the bat, but by asking its fans Did You Miss Us? Thank God I am a Braves fan. To their credit, they could always get minor league coach and former Memphis Redbird fan favorite Stubby Clapp to be a coach for the big team. Imagine a bunch of Astros female fans holding signs saying “We Got Clapp” or “I Like my Manager Stubby”.
So after listening a little bit to 1560 The Game, I decided to come up with some slogans that the Astros can use for this year:
*Astros: We Sorry…
*Our Locker Room No Longer Says Whites Only!!!
*Bagwell’s Wife Is No Longer Here! The Kids Are Safe From Botox Monster!
*$10 For A Beer & Minute Maid Park Has No Champagne Room (Yet)
*Got Pitching??? Seriously, We’re Asking.
*Season Tickets Are A Great Stimulus Package.
*Who Needs A Minor League System?
*Going On 2 Years Since We Had A Failed Marriage Proposal
*Who Said Our Mascot Looks Like The Nestle Quik Bunny?
*Tracy “She-Mac” McGrady Doesn’t Play Here.
*Let’s Try To Have More Fans Of The Home Team & Not The Visitors This Year. Damn Transplants.
Posted in Houston Astros, MLB, MLBPA, Major League Baseball, Mitchell Report | Tagged: Houston Astros, Major League Baseball, Mitchell Report, MLBPA, r MLB | Leave a Comment »
Meet the Michael Phelps pot party participants
Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 13, 2009
Yes now that Sheriff Lott is helping to save the word by rounding up party goers that were present during the infamous Michael Phelps bong hit that can mean one thing!
MUG SHOTS!!!
For the record smiling mug shots rule!
You would think that Sheriff Lott would have better thnigs to do. After all according to the Sheriff’s Department website there are 22 unsolved murders since 1996.
Maybe someday Phelps will appear on the Top 10 most wanted.
As a residence of Richland County, I’m making it my mission to find the blond and nailing her.
Mug shot photographer to guy on right: Ummm, son, could you look at the cam...son, right he...no, don't wander away...and for the last time, I don't have any Funyans!! Ahhh, to hell with it...(click)...next!
This dude looks like the illegitimate child of Robert Smith, lead singer of the Cure.
The first one looks like a serial killer and the second one will never survive in the pen
Posted in Leon Lott, Marijuana, Michael Phelps, South Carolina Gamecocks, bongs, mary jane | Tagged: bongs, Leon Lott, Marijuana, mary jane, Michael Phelps, South Carolina Gamecocks | 4 Comments »
18 free throws from 9 technical fouls all at once? WTF?
Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 13, 2009
Imagine if you will that your high school team is down by 5 points with 12 seconds left in regulation. Then some bonehead for your team commits an intentional foul. That should be game over right? I would be in the normal world however this is Rio Americano High I’m referring to so apparently normal doesn’t apply here since they a way to get eight technical fouls called on their opponent.
Rio Americano High was playing a league game against Bella Vista, both school are located in California. Rio’s Pierce Burton attempted a lay-up however the shot was cleanly blocked and he lost the ball. At that point Burton decided to go all WWE on Bella Vista’s Justin Haley and tried to pull him down to the ground.
Burton received a technical foul and was ejected from the game. There were no blows thrown, nobody pushed another player and the player even shook hands said “Yo it’s all good.”
However if you watch the video you’ll see where players from both benches took about 5 steps away from the bench. Because of this the refs went into technical foul crazy and the grand total is astounding.
Bella Vista was awarded eight free throws. Two free throws for the actual plus 6 free throws because of the three technical fouls that called against Rio.
On the flip side Rio (the team that committed the intentional foul to begin with) received. 18 yes 18 free throws that were awarded from nine technical fouls! I find it hard to believe a team can even receive that many technicals and Rasheed Wallace wasn’t playing for them and I’m shocked to find out that Duke wasn’t the recipient of this gift. One player for Rio made 17 of those shot to bring his team from being down by five to win the game six points.
The refs are standing firm and state that players from both teams “stormed” the court after the intentional foul and apparently Bella Vista had a lot more players that left the bench area. Bella Vista coaches say that’s not the case and even if it was, that doesn’t mean you give out a technical for every single one which in all honesty makes sense to me.
Bella Vista is appealing the game’s final outcome. Whatever the case might be give some props to the Rio player that made 17 out of 18 free throws, because there are several NBA players who couldn’t do that.
Mark Cuban is somewhere angrily blogging about this.
Bizarre finish to boys game disputed [Sac Bee]
Posted in High School Basketball, WTF, bad calls, refs | Tagged: bad calls, High School Basketball, refs, WTF | 3 Comments »
Kimber Kennedy must prove her loss of consortium
Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 12, 2009
con·sor·tium (kən sôrt′ē əm; -sôr′s̸hē əm, -s̸həm)
noun pl. -·tia—ə
- a partnership or association; specif.,
- a temporary alliance of two or more business firms in a common venture
- an international banking agreement or association
- Law the companionship and support provided by marriage, including the right of each spouse to receive this from the other
Now that you know what the definition of consortium is let’s hope Kimber Kennedy knows as well and has the ability to prove it. But first a recap.
On December 18th of last year Ole Miss head Basketball Coach Andy Kennedy was arrested for alledgidy assaulting a Cincinnati taxi driver. A video of the inicedent has been released in which Kennedy attempts to bring the United Nations into the matter by telling the police officier that this could be an “international inident.” The exchange during the arrest prompted the greatest line ever spoken by a Cinncinati police officer ever.
“You think we’ve never arrested somebody that’s made national media? … We deal with the Bengals all the time.”
Shortly thereafter Kimber Kennedy, Andy’s spouse, filed a lawsuit against the taxi driver and his witness claiming the this whole mess has been so stressful that Andy can not perform his husbandly duties. Meaning Andy just can’t take it to the hole anymore.
Now according the attorneys of the taxi driver, Kimber must prove the “loss of consortium” claim.
“Kennedy amended his civil suit against them when his wife said she deserved damages from the cabbie and valet because the incident had caused the couple a “loss of consortium” and damaged their marriage. But if Kennedy and his wife contend his December assault arrest ruined their personal life, they’re going to have to prove it with medical documents, say attorneys for the cab driver.”
No I’m not a doctor but I play one on this blog so at the risk of offending some readers out there, I’ll volunteer to help Kimber get her groove back. I can hop in my car and be there in a matter of hours. Hold on, Kimber. Eventually, I’ll be coming.
I truly wish I could there for this trial, I can see the entered evidene now:
- Exhibit A: A receipt for 50 AA batteries and a ‘muscle massager.’
- Exhibit B: Kimber rips open her blouse and shouts “Your honor, THESE have not been sucked since the incident!”
- Exhibit C: A video of the couple NOT having sex
Unfortunately I can’t help but believe that there will be a legal document in the future containing the words “forceps”, “knock”, and “dust off”. I’m betting Kimber is hoping for a stiff penalty to be handed out for this crime.
I bet this suit is doing wonders for recruiting.
Posted in Andy Kennedy, Cincinnati, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Kimber Kennedy, Lawsuit, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches, ole miss rebels | Tagged: Andy Kennedy, Cincinnati, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Kimber Kennedy, Lawsuit, ole miss rebels, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches | 5 Comments »