Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for March 3rd, 2009

Guess Who Is Lining Up For A #1 Seed???

Posted by Joel on March 3, 2009


(pic courtesy of Losers With Socks)

Sporting a 26-3 record, the Memphis Tigers are poised for a #1 seed. Realistically, this year’s edition of the Tigers is absent of the club hoppers, woman beaters, and scary thugs NBA type talent at every position when compared to last year’s team, but overall, this has been a better team.

Free throw shooting eventually was one of the things that caught up to them last year. Yes, the pain is still there in the hearts of Tiger fans, but this year, the Tigers are shooting almost 70% compared to 61% last year. The 9% difference overallmay not sound like much, but it is the difference between an NCAA Championship Banner hanging in the rafters of plush FedEx Forum instead of drafty and cramped Phog Allen Fieldhouse in Kansas (not that I am biased or still bitter). They are also allowing opponents 7 fewer points this year compared to last.

However, the Tigers still have one problem that reared its ugly head in the losses to Xavier and Syacuse this year, along with the final 3 minutes of last year’s title game: The lack of in-game coaching strategy of John Calipari. Don’t get me wrong, he is an excellent recruiter and can motivate his teams like no other. He is great for a college program. However, as a pure X’s and O’s coach, he has a tendency to get out coached. The talent that he amasses gets him out of a lot of situations. Either way, they should run through the rest of the Tiger High Invitational C-USA Tournament and land a #1 seed.

Then there is this pimp:


Rick Pitino and Louisville, who until ESPN gave them a blow job put a spotlight on them, were quietly sneaking up on the competition, setting up a potential showdown in the Big East Tournament against Pitt or UConn. They are loaded and are clearly the best basketball team in the state of Kentucky. They do need to win the Big East to get a #1 seed, but with this team, it is very possible. Earl Clark should be a lottery pick and, wouldn’t it be sweet if the Tigers and Cardinals played for the national title???

Posted in Big East, Big East Basketball, College Basketball, Conference USA, ESPN, Louisville, Louisville Cardinals, Memphis, Memphis Tigers, Rick Pitino, basketball | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The halo of Kurt Warner shines brighter than my slightly tarnished and dent one

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 3, 2009

Now that's a haircut you can set your watch to.

Kurt Warner visited San Francisco yesterday and has a physical scheduled for later today. Apparently this isn’t just a ploy to leverage in his contract negotiations with Arizona.

So say he’s visiting San Francisco to destroy it for the sins of its inhabitants, just like in Genesis.

Everyone knows Kurt Warner is the NFL Jesus. His agent, Mark Bartelstein, would like to point out that Warner is on a higher moral plane than you or I and we’re sinners that are doomed to hell in the afterlife. Which I firmly believe is Tuscaloosa, Alabama.

“People assume things are being done to create leverage and that’s not true,” Bartelstein said. “Anyone who knows Kurt Warner knows that’s not the moral plane he operates under. He would never do something to create leverage.”

According to Bartelstein there are some hurt feelings involving the contract negations with the Cardinals that is forcing Warner to San Francisco. He’s seeking a two-year contract for $29 million, and the Cardinals offered $20 million over the two years. Which leaves me to ask the question: WWJD?

Only 20 million for 2 years? What a slap in the face. Just remember Kurt, what would Jesus do? Certainly not accept $625,000 per Sunday.

I’m sure he was disappointed that he had to go through free agency. Getting hassled on the phone by any number of suitors, being offering you eight figures to play football instead of working a real job. A real shame, that is.

For some I do not believe that the city of San Francisco would embrace the Warners’ Christian conservatism, seems like a hotbed of that sort of thinking.

By the way Michael Vick thinks the 49ers courting Warner is just puppy love.

Kurt Warner has found fame and fortune in the NFL but he has NEVER even come close to scoring the crazy, mad MILFs like he did when he was a grocery bagger.

For the record I think Kurt Warner and his story is great however I’m sick of hearing how “holy” he is.

Posted in Arizona Cardinals, God, Kurt Warne, NFL Football, San Francisco 49ers | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »